Thanksgiving is here! Which means mashed potatoes, so yay, but it also means family. Family's the worst! So get out of the house and go see a movie this holiday weekend. Will it be naked ladies or... nearly-naked ladies?

This morning, Elton John provided us with a quick analysis of Regis Philbin's psyche, based on Philbin's desire to call John by his Knighthood title of "Sir," despite John's protests. Watch the awkwardly funny clip inside.

This morning, GMA showed us how to deal with grease fires, giving us . Like, don't throw water on it. And do put a lid on the flame and turn the burner off. Well, actually that doesn't work either.

America, rejoice! Tonight, during Dancing with the Stars' live finale, Bristol Palin was deservedly, FINALLY given the boot when she finished in third place. Shotgun-fearing televisions across the country may now come out of hiding! Watch Palin get eliminated inside.

Sick of all this gays in the military jibber-jabber? Well, rest easy, because the whole controversy has been settled on The Daily Caller. The solution? Lesbians are totally fine in the military, but gay men (hereafter "gays") are absolutely not.

Old blue-blood Barbara Bush explained told CNN last night that she didn't hand her miscarried fetus jar to son George, as he wrote. That's not the New England way! Fetus-handling is the maid's duty: "Paula" handed George the jar, duh.

No one ate shit during the Skating with the Stars premiere tonight (even Mötley Crüe on Ice Vince Neil stayed upright). But let's meet judge Johnny Weir, two time Olympian and total Gaga-head. Weir's ode to "Poker Face," inside.

The average 2009 college grad had $24,000 in student loan debt. But in today's debt-wracked world, some have it much worse. Meet one of the outliers: 23 years old, more than $200,000 in student loans, begging for help.

Take note, 2012 Republican presidential candidates: Alleged pundit Meghan McCain is available as a "strategist" for the election cycle; one of you'd better snatch her up post-haste! She will help you "kick Obama's ass," as she did in 2008.

Like the many Real Housewives before her, Kim Zolciak took to the Bravo Clubhouse to perform a live rendition of her new 'hit single.' You are correct in your concern for a live performance of a highly auto-tuned song.

Here's a trailer for Source Code, the sci-fi thriller from the director of Moon about a device that allows a military man (Jake) to enter the body of someone else for the last eight minutes of their life. Sure, OK.

The American Music Awards—aka the Grammys for tweens—are underway in Los Angeles. Miley Cyrus just performed (screeched?) a Stevie Nicks-esque ballad called "Forgiveness and Love" in a dark, flowing Stevie Nicks-esque dress. She did not do too well.

Want to catch up on the week's most popular web videos? Check out our top 25 inside.

Movies! Nobody doesn't like 'em. Everyone likes them even more because they come out on Fridays, which is America's favorite day. So let's take a look at what movies are coming out today, from wizard adventures to prison breaks.

Author Robert Randolph has been talking to the tabloids about John Travolta's habit of hooking up with men at Los Angeles saunas. Most media outlets, however, were too shy to delve into the steamy details. We're not quite as timid.

MSNBC, just to put itself on the record as "consistent," has suspended Morning Joe co-host Joe Scarborough for the same reason it suspended Keith Olbermann: Political donations without advance approval. Interestingly, Politico, where Scarborough writes a column, instigated the suspension.

Duke has an image problem: The school's most notable student is a co-ed who sent out a Powerpoint about every dude she banged. Now, Duke's president wants to clean up the school's image by making college students stop being idiots.

New Jersey pastor Cedric Miller ordered married congregants to give up Facebook because the "temptation is just too great." His inspiration: The plight of congregant Elliott Subervi, who says 2000 beautiful women friended him, then tormented him with sexy messages.

Here's a video of a bunch of girls (and probably a few guys) at the University of Rhode Island attacking the getaway car of a celebrity who visited the campus. The celebrity in question? Jersey Shore's DJ Pauly D. Sigh.

Rachelle Friedman's bridesmaids pushed her into a pool's shallow end, breaking her neck and leaving her paralyzed from the chest down. Now she can't marry her fiance because their combined income would cause her to lose her Medicaid benefits.