If Raymond V. Raymond was about Usher's divorce, then the bonus album Versus should have been about how his love of walls, chairs and tree trunks has kept him from staying faithful.

The Post's totally superfluous Page Six Magazine comes out tomorrow with a cover story about Madonna's former boytoy Jesus Luz. The problem is no one wants to hear him talk. And when he does, he sounds like a fool.

Behold the Kings Firecrackers, a jump-roping squad of teen (and pre-teen) girls from Ohio—who may get a movie deal! Here, the girls perform an astonishing eight-minute routine during a halftime show at the US Naval Academy. Watch inside.

In 2003, Monserrate Luna boarded a flight in NYC headed to San Juan, Puerto Rico. When she bit into her chicken meal, she says, there was a lizard in it. She sued. We got a copy of her insanity-inducing deposition.

Why did Paris Hilton suddenly become so famous a few years ago while other ditzy fameseekers with no discernible talent—like, say, Tara Reid—fell off the map so quickly? Elizabeth Currid-Halkett breaks it down in her new book.

The Situation has a workout DVD coming out soon! It wouldn't be complete without a blooper reel. Inside, listen to him ask for a "Situation Special" and call a dude "butter" instead of "brother." UPDATE: now with more boner!

Utterly unwatched CNN newsgimmick show Parker Spitzer is getting some much-needed publicity today, in the form of a rumored threat by cohost Kathleen Parker to leave the show. Oh no, they wouldn't want to lose Kathleen Parker, ha ha.

Tonight, America's annual celebration of fluffy wings and rail-thin supermodels—aka the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show—aired. And while Victoria's "Angels" headlined the event, Katy Perry put forth her best effort with a, uh, voluptuous performance of "Firework." Watch inside.

According to at least one fashion blogger the Mankini—that strange hybrid men's bathing suit—is here to stay. Why is this idea patently ridiculous? Could this be just the thing that a new generation of men needs?

Is this Maureen Dowd comic book awesome (superhero journalist!) or offensive (she's, uh, naked)? I'm leaning toward awesome.

Forget the iPad, why not just put an actual video player in a traditional paper magazine? That's exactly what was done with the December 2010 issue of Russian Vogue and the result is pretty cool.

Yesterday, a very pregnant Mariah Carey graced HSN—several times!—to hawk everything from perfume (which she hates), to shoes, to a Ring Pop necklace. Carey also repeated herself ad nauseam, and—as this compilation from Rich Juzwiak shows—it was awesome.

How did Vogue boss of bosses Anna Wintour spend her Thanksgiving? In Shanghai, being thankful that she's so famous that a tipster sent us video of her all the way from China.

Kanye West interviewed Rihanna for Interview magazine, and the result was the equivalent of a Jack Russell terrier burying its face in your crotch and humping.

Last night was the worst Thanksgiving ever! Not only was Blair wearing a 1983 Waffle House plastic tablecloth as a dress, but Serena was basically ruined as a human being. No one trusts or likes her anymore. Or do they?

When Carlos Flores bravely leapt onto the 103rd St. tracks Sunday morning to pull a fallen old man to safety, he became at least the fifth official NYC Subway Hero in the past few years. But who's the most heroic?

Another day, another Italian prostitute telling stories about Silvio Berlusconi's sex life. The latest lass claims she earned €10,000 ($13,000) for two nights of "bunga-bunga" bliss, then explains exactly how she got into the Berlusconi orgy business.

Last night was the first preview performance of the new Julie Taymor/U2 Broadway jam Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark, the much-plagued musical about Peter Parker and his super-villain enemies. So how'd it go? Well, please stand by for technical difficulties.

According to bombshells Erin Heatherton and Chanel Iman, being "too skinny ... isn't sexy" and runway preparation entails eating "a lot, a lot." Are these responses genuine or an attempt to lessen the focus on the industry's harsh beauty standards?

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