jesus
Sherri Shepherd Tries to Help Andy Dick Find Jesus
The Cajun Boy · 08/14/09 07:01AMAmish Chickens Flee McMansions
Hamilton Nolan · 06/30/09 10:46AMThe Least Salacious Hookers With Rock N' Roll Story You'll Read This Week, But A Sweet One No Less
Foster Kamer · 06/06/09 12:30PMKentucky Pastor to Hold a 'Bring Your Handgun to Church' Service
The Cajun Boy · 06/03/09 09:58PMVirgin Mary Coffee Stain Saves Journalism
Hamilton Nolan · 05/07/09 10:38AMLiberal Media Kills Jesus?
Hamilton Nolan · 04/28/09 12:16PMSome Noah's Ark Shit Is About to Go Down in Fargo
Hamilton Nolan · 03/27/09 12:41PMFinally, Jesus
Richard Lawson · 03/10/09 01:42PMCriminal Ponzi Scheme Shockingly Run by Christians
Hamilton Nolan · 02/28/09 11:00AMNewsweek (Hopes) To Become The Economist
Hamilton Nolan · 02/09/09 10:07AMBarack Obama: Bigger Than Jesus
Pareene · 01/28/09 01:26PMSoft-Selling Jesus
Hamilton Nolan · 12/17/08 01:10PMIn James Frey's Next Book, Jesus Loves Abortion and Gay Marriage
Sheila · 12/16/08 07:22PMAtheist Ads Target Jesus, Santa, Babies
Hamilton Nolan · 11/13/08 01:57PMThe annual War Against Christmas is starting again! This is the time of year when secular humanists and other assorted anti-American forces do various things to undermine Jesus, such as asking for the term "Holiday party" to be substituted for "Christmas party," and requesting that Jews, Muslims, and members of other blasphemous religions be "included" in things. But this year it's even worse, because some atheists have started a public ad campaign designed to destroy God! Fox News is taking this threat very seriously:
The Christian Twitter Is Here
Hamilton Nolan · 09/22/08 12:26PMDo you like microblogging, but always found Twitter to be too full of godless heathens? Well rejoice, because Gospelr is here! It's the Christian version of Twitter, and do we need to explain anything further? Praise god no. The founder says he hopes it will be "effectual in regards to sharing the Gospel," but then admits "I have no idea how Gospelr might eventually be used." Hopefully not by Julia Allison! Let's take a look at the holy activity going on at Gospelr right now:
Without Comment
Pareene · 06/24/08 01:18PMJesus Gyms: Helping To Ease Christians Out Of The Mainstream
Hamilton Nolan · 06/06/08 09:40AMYou love working out. You love Jesus. But gyms are such meat markets: sweaty, sculpted, sexy bodies everywhere, driving your brain crazy thinking about... not the church bake sale, if you know what we mean. (Sex). So what to do? Where can you go? Is this all a setup leading into a trend story about the astounding success of a Christian-themed gym located, predictably, in Florida? God yes! And furthermore, we think it's great:
Celebrity Jesus: Original Gangster Version
Hamilton Nolan · 06/04/08 01:30PMHey kids: you think Catholicism is all about musty old churches and child-molesting priests? Think again, yo! Everything that you think is cool came from a man named g-o-d—including blunt-smoking gangster rapper Snoop Dogg. Deify him! But he's not the only one of you young peoples' false idols who came from the Godmeister. That's right, Sienna Miller did too! These two ads from the Australian version of Marie Claire are supposed to promote the Catholic Church's upcoming World Youth Day. 1-8-7 with a gat in your mouth, Jesus! Gaze upon the full versions of two [REAL] horrifying ideas of youth outreach:
Jesus Will Carry You To A Good Lawyer
Hamilton Nolan · 05/19/08 10:24AMYou've surely seen a copy of it on the walls of your local Sunday school, A.A. meeting, or weed-filled hipster apartment, ironically: Footprints in the Sand, the mawkish little poem/ parable about Jesus carrying you when you couldn't carry yourself. The work has become a gold mine of merchandising opportunities, which is what everyone, including Jesus, really cares about (sandals aren't free). So naturally three different people have been squabbling for years over who wrote it. Now, the son of one proclaimed author is taking the other claimants to court for copyright infringement. Sigh. It would really be tidier if Jesus could just settle this himself. After the jump, the three slightly different versions of the poem that claim to be the original. One thing we can all agree on is that god needs to pick more creative messengers: