• Madonna and Alex Rodriguez helicoptered to the Hamptons, spent four hours in a house with Jerry Seinfeld and possibly Seinfeld's wife, then helicoptered back home. Must have been quite a dinner party. [Post, Sun]

♦ Madonna and Alex Rodriguez were able to fly out to the Hamptons for a "quick and cozy rendezvous" without anyone knowing, but only because Jerry and Jessica Seinfeld picked the couple up (separately) from the East Hampton airport and let them hang out for several hours at their waterfront manse. [P6, The Sun]
♦ With her husband Rossano Rubicondi filming a reality show in Italy, Ivana Trump has been hanging out with a 23-year-old Belgian model named Marius Rusovici. [P6]
♦ Tina Brown and Cathie Black are enemies, apparently, since they "disagreed on just about everything" and "wouldn't even look at each other," at a conference this week. [R&M]
♦ Is John McCain making an Saturday Night Live appearance this weekend? Does anyone care? [MSNBC]

♦ Angelina Jolie is either "burning up with jealousy" over Brad Pitt's flirtatious relationship with co-star Diane Kruger, or she's completely happy and getting ready for her next adoption in the next few weeks, depending on which tabloid you pick up. [Star, OK!]
♦ Elisabeth Hasselbeck gets more death threats than any other host on the View, news that probably won't surprise you. [P6]
♦ Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer spent last weekend at a romantic spa in Arizona. [Star]
♦ Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen appeared at a book signing yesterday, but they did not permit fans to talk to them. [P6]
♦ Page Six follows up on the news from three weeks ago and reports Ivanka Trump is converting to Judaism for Jared Kushner. She's attending synagogue regularly, too. [P6]

♦ Soon-to-be-single Madonna premiered her directorial debut, Filth and Wisdom, at the Sunshine Theater on Monday night. On the red carpet and/or the after-party at the Thompson LES: Lindsay Lohan (left), Jerry Seinfeld, Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber, Ann Dexter-Jones, David Blaine, Alan Cumming, America Ferrera, Brooke Shields, Marc Jacobs and Lorenzo Martone, Glenda Bailey, Jessica Alba and Cash Warren, Juliette Lewis, Jason Biggs, Jeremy Piven, Vanessa Williams, Becki Newton, Malin Akerman, Lake Bell, Max Minghella, Padma Lakshmi, Terry Richardson, Diane Kruger and Joshua Jackson, Joe Zee, Byrdie Bell, Fabiola Beracasa, Ferebee Bishop Taube, Zani Gugelmann, Katie Lee Joel, Beth Ostrosky, Eleanor Ylvisaker, Kelly Klein, Minnie Mortimer, Maggie Rizer, Chace Crawford, Amanda Cutter Brooks, Ingrid Sischy, Ross Bleckner, Nancy Jarecki, Derek Blasberg, Ed Westwick, Rose Byrne, Taylor Momsen, Debbie Bancroft, Terry Richardson, Bruce Weber, Guy Oseary, and Ali Wise and Jason Pomeranc. [The Daily, PMc, Wireimage, Style.com]

In defending himself from a slander lawsuit—that's the one filed after he went on Letterman and called the woman who his wife ripped off her cookbook idea from a "wacko" and "hysterical" before suggesting her three names might mean she's an assassin—Jerry Seinfeld is pulling out the big guns: His beloved, long-running, top-rated sitcom has now been entered as evidence. The Smoking Gun reports:

Ad agency Crispin Porter + Bogusky made Microsoft's "I'm a PC" ads using Macs, according to a Flickr user who downloaded an image version of the ad from Microsoft's web site and perused its meta data. After Digital Daily posted the news, a Microsoft flack confirmed the news and said: "Agencies and production houses use a wide variety of software and hardware to create, edit and distribute content, including both Macs and PCs." Along with its ad agency, Microsoft's spokespeople in the "I'm a PC" campaign are also proud Apple product owners.Comedian Jerry Seinfeld used to include a Mac on the set of his sitcom and even appeared in an Apple ad once. Deepak Chopra wrote on the Huffington Post about how he prefers the iPod to nuclear weapons. A geek at an airport made a deep connection with Eva Longoria when he spotted her MacBook. Pharrell Williams encases his iPhone in gold. And finally, I heard Trig Palin tried to sell his iPod Shuffle on eBay, but failed and had to sell it off-line for a loss.

The doublespeak coming from Microsoft and its ad agency, Crispin Porter & Bogusky, in the wake of its "icebreaker" ad campaign featuring Bill Gates and Jerry Seinfeld, is amazing. Yesterday, Valleywag learned that Microsoft PR was revving up a spin campaign to go along with the ad campaign. Its aim: To make sure no one interpreted its shift to a series of anti-Mac ads as an abandonment of the Seinfeld spots. But Crispin Porter tells Gizmodo that it did, indeed, have another Seinfeld and Gates spot already produced. It's just not scheduled to air. Anytime. As of yet. It could air. Some day. If Microsoft wants it too. So does this mean Seinfeld will return? As a Microsoft flack told us yesterday, "possibly" and "potentially."

And that's that. Microsoft says it will begin a "new phase" of its marketing campaign for Vista today—and it doesn't include Jerry Seinfeld who signed on less than a month ago. Eva Longoria and Pharrell Williams will pitch the evil empire instead. [Bloomberg]

Remember those awful Microsoft ads with Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates? Well, now you can forget them. Microsoft flacks are desperately dialing reporters to spin them about "phase two" of the ad campaign — a phase, due to be announced tomorrow, which will drop the aging comic altogether. Microsoft's version of the story: Redmond had always planned to drop Seinfeld. The awkward reality: The ads only reminded us how out of touch with consumers Microsoft is — and that Bill Gates's company has millions of dollars to waste on hiring a has-been funnyman to keep him company. Update: In a phone call, Waggener Edstrom flack Frank Shaw confirms that Microsoft is not going on with Seinfeld, and echoes his underlings' spin that the move was planned. There is the "potential to do other things" with Seinfeld, which Shaw says is still "possible." He adds: "People would have been happier if everyone loved the ads, but this was not unexpected." Update: CPB confirms that Seinfeld spots already in the can will not be aired.

The new ad campaign from Crispin Porter & Bogusky for Microsoft, which has been rolled out in two parts so far, are "'icebreakers' designed to start a new kind of conversation." Which mean instead of everyone talking about how terrible Windows Vista is, they're talking about how little sense the new ads from Microsoft make. Ultimately, the plan is to get us talking about how Microsoft seems to be screwing up not just Vista and its brand, but "Windows in all its forms." [Windows Vista Team Blog]

It was just last week that Microsoft unveiled their new advertisement featuring Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates hanging out in a shoe store. Shockingly, you rubes failed to comprehend what this had to do with computers and PCs remained firmly on store shelves. Well, perhaps this latest opus will change all that. In today’s installment Bill and Jerry deign to hang out with regular people in the suburbs. It may be a little less weird than their previous outing, but it’s certainly longer—in fact, it’s a whopping four and a half minutes! We’ve excerpted a choice 30-second cut, but you can watch the entire thing here. If this baby doesn’t get you to put down that Mac and climb aboard the Vista train, nothing will. [YouTube]

• Charles Gibson reeled in big ratings for ABC with his interview with Sarah Palin. [THR]

Boy, $300 million sure buys a lot of storytelling. Microsoft has released two more 90-second ads starring Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates, the Laurel and Hardy of... Microsoft ads. More than the first, totally mystifying "shoe store" ad, these new spots flesh out the plan: Bill Gates as lovable icon. He's like Joe Isuzu with a bad haircut! He does the robot! We're still skeptical, but it's progress. You can watch the two official ads here, but we like this version even more: all the footage of the two ads (and some extra that was edited out) in one four-and-a-half-minute long unfolding storyline. Trippy:

It's time for the second spot in the Crispin Porter & Bogusky-produced advertising campaign for Microsoft and Windows Vista. Unlike the last one, there's even a computer! Premiering in two parts during tonight's episode of Big Brother on CBS, the premise posits mundane comedian Jerry Seinfeld and Microsoft cofounder Bill Gates staying in a Seattle home with "real people" (like veteran actor David Costabile) in order to connect with consumers. Cue the hijinx. The question is, will the campaign work?I may well be too far down the rabbit hole to have any idea if the spots are having the desired warm-and-fuzzy effect on the populace. If anything, they serve to remind us of the opposite: That Gates and Microsoft are so out of touch, the company has to pay an advertising agency $300 million (and Seinfeld $10 million) to lend even the thinnest veneer of approachability. "Cool," presumably, would have cost extra.

Click to viewIn this clip, CNBC's Jim Goldman asks Apple CEO Steve Jobs what he thought of Microsoft's new ad featuring Bill Gates and comedian Jerry Seinfeld. Watch the clip: Jobs answers Goldman's question politely, but the CEO's body language says what he won't. He shakes his head. He throws his hands up in the air. He grins and laughs. Like the rest of us, the guy who greenlighted the Mac vs. PC series, the Think Different campaign, and the infamous anti-IBM 1984 ad doesn't get what Microsoft was thinking running that thing either.

"Most companies would have to spend a billion dollars on advertising to get this kind of attention," a brand consultant insisted to the Wall Street Journal in response to Jerry Seinfeld's what-the-huh 90-second TV spot for Microsoft. "The fact that they have the blogs, the business community and mass media talking about it means they hit a nerve," says another. "It's exactly what we were trying to achieve, which was to drive buzz," says Microsoft spokesman Tom Pilla. Three's a trend! But ask yourself how many other companies will now intentionally develop campaigns designed to get people talking and talking about how disappointed they are with the whole thing?

In its bid to top the deceptively simple "I"m a Mac/I'm a PC" ad campaign of its rival, Microsoft went big, hiring auteur Michel Gondry to direct a commercial featuring Jerry Seinfeld alongside Bill Gates (update: we've been informed that though Gondry shot at least one commercial for this campaign, this particular ad was crafted by director Bryan Buckley). For his involvement, Seinfeld was handsomely compensated to the tune of $10 million — a big number, but small potatoes compared to the whole ad campaign's rumored $300 million budget. For that kind of cash, you might expect the end result to be an orgy of CGI with all participants covered in a thick sheen of liquid gold. However, Microsoft had something considerably quieter and more head-scratching in mind. Take a look at the lackadaisical proceedings and then try to physically restrain yourself from bolting out the door to buy a PC. That is what's being advertised, isn't it? [Microsoft]

Less than two weeks after Microsoft confirmed that it had picked the Mac-loving Jerry Seinfeld as its new endorser, this ad with Seinfeld and Bill Gates is everywhere. And it is awful. I mean, it's kind of engaging to see this half-billionaire comedian kicking it in a shoe store with the many-billionaire Microsoft nerd-in-chief; but up until the final seconds, I was convinced this was an ad for Payless. And I may be stupid, but I'm still your target audience, Microsoft. Surely Sarah Silverman and Willie Nelson will be a bit more techno-centric. Watch what $10 million can buy, after the jump:

The first Microsoft ad starring Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates (and for which Seinfeld was paid $10 million) is now online. It's not especially funny—it starts off in a mall shoe store, Jerry does a lot of talking, and Bill looks sorta sad. Although you probably would have been more surprised if it actually had made you laugh. [AlleyInsider]

Long-time Macintosh enthusiast Jerry Seinfeld kicks off the new Microsoft campaign by spotting company cofounder Bill Gates at a fictional discount shoe store. The 90-second spot makes a lot less sense from there. Can't say for certain if this is the spot that Michel Gondry directed, but it certainly has the loopy narrative touches, playful music and one giveaway visual cue: A shot of someone wearing shoes and socks in the shower. It makes no mention of technology until the end, when Seinfeld asks when Microsoft will make an edible computer — and then the audience is treated to Bill Gates adjusting himself in his boxer shorts, hands-free. The whole production says "quirky," not slick or cool, but then Windows Vista is full of maddening quirks.