PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our millions of Defamer operatives. We'd like to remind you that this feature is powered by you, so if you want to see more installments of PrivacyWatch, then all you've got to do is to send us your sightings. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you saw Ellen Pompeo at the Century City Mall looking like (and we quote) "a Staten Island prostitute". This week's installment also includes: Clint Eastwood, Jerry Seinfeld, Ryan Phillippe, Kirsten Dunst and Justin Long, Farrah Fawcett, James Woods, Dane Cook, John C. Reilly, Lauren Conrad, Ellen Pompeo, P. Diddy (twice in the same night!), Jared Leto, Kevin Federline, Sandra Oh, Seth Green, Balthazar Getty, Pete Wentz, Briam Baumgartner, Zachary Levi, Ciara, Adam "Seymour Butts" Glasser and more.TUESDAY, AUGUST 21 · Sitting in a booth at the recently re-opened Fab's on Van Nuys Blvd in Sherman Oaks at 8pm, Mr. "Hey, Spike Lee, Shut Your Pie-Hole" himself, CLINT EASTWOOD, speaking in hushed tones while dining with Sinatra's favorite opening comic, Tom Dreesen. I couldn't hear if Clint said to the waiter, "Go ahead, make my Chicken Marsala." Even at 93 [Ed. Note: He's actually only 78], Clint looks like he could kick some serious butt. FRIDAY, AUGUST 22 · It was celeb night on Friday 8/22 at the AMC theater at the Century City Mall. Spotted PETE WENTZ standing outside with friends. His hair is flat ironed to oblivion and he is short, almost alarmingly so. Kept his hoodie on the whole time. Jessica's pregnant sister was nowhere in sight. Then, a few minutes later, ELLEN POMPEO (that's Meredith Grey to you) walked by hand-in-hand with her hubby. Super skinny and wearing gross, skin tight white jeans, white shirt with trashy sky high black heels. They were in a rush which made her look like she walks funny because she clearly couldn't handle those heels. We decided she was dressed like a Staten Island prostitute. We decided to hold out a few more minutes on the hope we would spot an elusive A-lister. And before we knew it, PUFF DADDY walked by sans entourage! He is indeed puffy. Mr. Mogul needs to get back to running marathons for charity. He was wearing sunglasses. At 10:30pm. And he was texting while walking briskly. Who says men can't multi-task? · Equinox West Hollywood. PUFF DADDY (again!) makes his entourage wait in the juice bar while he grabs a steam. · JUSTIN LONG and KIRSTEN DUNST were spotted Friday night at the Dragonfly, checking out the show Point Break LIVE! She sat behind him w/ her girlfriends, but Justin kept turning around to talk to her & see her reaction to the craziness onstage. ·Bristol Farms, West Hollywood, 5:30PM (ish). Looking determined to get out and towing a tow-headed child: RYAN PHILLIPPE. Taller than I would have expected, and beefier (but by no means tall). I don't know if he's moved to the neighborhood but the shopping cart was brimming. In case he is, a word of advice: I know it's technically West Hollywood, but the look you should be going for should be more "Daddy out shopping for groceries with my kids on Beverly" and less "Out shopping for a Daddy to buy my groceries on Santa Monica". SATURDAY, AUGUST 23 · He's not a household name, but with 33 film and 40 television credits, let's just say I was surprised to see SEAN WHALEN selling blenders at the Burbank Costco on Saturday, miked up, dressed in a white lab coat and white paper hat. He usually plays nerds, but now he's extolling the virtues of raw food smoothies. Ouch. SUNDAY, AUGUST 24 · Sunday night at the Radiohead show. Saw SANDRA OH with several dudes scrambling to get to their seats. She looked flustered, yet excited. Also saw SETH GREEN in line between songs waiting for beers. He was sporting a trucker hat and has a big, shaggy red beard. He looks like he belongs under a bridge waiting for three billy goats gruff. Lastly, also saw BALTHAZAR GETTY near the beer line between songs, wearing douchey skinny jeans and chomping on cigarettes. Dude looked like he was having way too much fun, like he'd just ditched his wife and kids for a hot chick who likes to bang while only wearing a sailor's hat. Oh, wait... · As I approached the cool 'n' groovy Santa Monica/Fairfax Whole Foods, I saw two paps outside aiming their lenses into the store. Store security blocked their view. I heard someone say, "She's the one in orange," and then noticed LAUREN CONRAD in a cute orange summer dress, casual hair, grinding her own peanut butter near the bulk grains. No, she did not have an assistant to pour in the peanuts and press the button for her. When I left she was checking out, the paps were lining up, and the Whole Foods security guys, looking vaguely energized, were preparing to escort Ms. Conrad to her vehicle. MONDAY, AUGUST 25 · Monday night, Radiohead at the Bowl. After briefly encountering JARED LETO (dressed a bit like Shia in Indiana Jones) on the concourse leading a small scuzzy posse around and claiming that he had extra seats, I was surprised to see him all alone in the pool circle up front where I was seated (second row, yo!). Jared apparently ditched his "boys" and tried a bum rush to get up front as the lights went down. Multiple security guards stopped him and he immediately went into "Don't you know who I am?" mode. At first it was high-larious, but then it became a bit pathetic. And then it became a lot pathetic. He just would not give up. It didn't matter. They hauled him away just before the band came out and killed it. I'd like to believe that Radiohead hates Jared's stupid fucking band and the noise pollution he calls music as much as I and everyone else at the show does, and that they ordered security to remove him from their immediate vicinity, but more than likely Thom Yorke has never heard of 30 (Minutes? Miles? I refuse to google.) to Mars. To Thom, it was probably just another dumb asshole without a ticket getting the boot from the front. Which is exactly what it was. ·Saw JAMES WOODS on 8/25 on Burton Way near Raffles L'Ermitage Beverly Hills. He was on the phone and completely plugged into it. Looks pretty good for a man his age. No sign of his 20 year old girl anywhere. TUESDAY, AUGUST 26 · Comedy Antichrist DANE COOK was at Crunch. His name was on the marquee at the Laugh Factory across the street, so I'm guessing it was some sort of pre- or post-show routine. If you imagined that he'd work out in a backwards baseball cap and muscle shirt, thereby confirming your image of him as a superannuated, doughy-faced, overgrown frat boy - you'd be correct. WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 27 · Two fun (separate) sightings. Saw Kevin (BRAIN BAUMGARTNER) from Scrantonicity (and, yes, The Office); and, Chuck (ZACHARY LEVI), from, well, Chuck at the Studio City Starbucks. Both taking meetings around the corner at the NBC/Universal building? Kevin wearing shorts, Chuck driving a gas-guzzling Chevy Tahoe. Bad choices, boys. · Eyed R&B sensation/masturbation fantasy CIARA placing a to-go order at the El Pollo Loco on Sunset and Crescent Heights around 4:40pm. Body was insane. · I was walking back to my office from Rick's Tavern yesterday around 8:35pm going South on Main St when, lo and behold, JERRY SEINFELD was walking the opposite direction. He was with a group of like 3 or 4 friends and looking casual but good. Hoodie and glasses and admiring the motor bikes parked on the street. · Saw Seymore Butts (born ADAM GLASSER) in the Miracle Mile Marie Callender's today. No cameras, no nudity, no sex acts being performed. But seriously, I saw Seymore Butts!!! FRIDAY, AUGUST 29 · Walking through the hallways of a building deep in the heart of Toluca Lake around 3:30pm is FARRAH FAWCETT. Farrah raised her head to look me in the eye with a a look that said "Yes I am Farrah Fawcett and don't talk to me" Farrah had heavy duty perfume situation going on that wafted in the hallway well after she left the building. Christie Brinkley is about the same age as her but Farrah looks like she has been through the ringer and had a rough, rough hard drinking, hard partying, heavy tanning life. Use sunscreen, kids. Use Sunscreen. · Not sure if KEVIN FEDERLINE is a real "sighting" but we saw Father of The Year at Malibu Seafood on Friday. Did not look overly douche-y. Was with a few guys, both whom I recognized but neither that I could place. · We saw JOHN C. REILLY out in Dublin's (as in, Ireland) posh south side last Friday. We couldn't remember his name right off. We called him "Not-Will-Ferrell". He didn't seem to mind. [Photo Credit: X17]

Microsoft is pulling out all the stops to buff the image of its startingly unpopular operating system, Windows Vista. Nothing so far has worked. Don't worry, Apple and Linux fans — Microsoft is not doing anything threatening, such as actually improving the software.Instead, the company is paying aging comedian and (reformed?) Mac enthusiast Jerry Seinfeld $10 million to be the product's spokesmonkey. At least one of the ads looks like it was shot against a Brooklyn backdrop by Michel Gondry, the french auteur beloved by white people. Who's responsible for this sudden rush to be hip? This sounds like the work of Alex Bogusky, the studvertiser at Mac-worshipping ad firm Crispin Porter & Bogusky. Guess Gondry won't be touring Apple stores to promote his next film. (Photo by AP/Franka Bruns)

Before it landed Microsoft's $300 million account and hired Jerry Seinfeld as a spokesperson, the admen of agency Crispin Porter & Bogusky met with Fast Company's Danielle Sacks in April 2007. That's when Alex Bogusky explained exactly what kind of computers it uses, and why:

You know Microsoft is hopelessly out of touch when the opening paragraph of the Wall Street Journal article that's supposed to be touting the tech giant's marketing coup starts off something like this: "Microsoft Corp., weary of being cast as a stodgy oldster by Apple Inc.'s advertising, is turning for help to Jerry Seinfeld." Huh? Microsoft is hoping to appeal to the Gen Y demo—people in their 20s—by hiring a spokesman who is 54? Better yet: Seinfeld will be appearing in the commercials alongside Bill Gates himself, who doesn't exactly conjure up an image of cool with iPod-listening, Macbook-carrying hipsters on the L train. The $300 million campaign, which will debut on Sept. 4th, will be promoting Microsoft's Vista operating system, which, company officials acknowledge, has generated a "negative public perception." (That's probably because it sucks.) Why did Seinfeld decide to participate? We're guessing it may have had something to do with the $10 million paycheck.

In an effort to promote its poxy Windows Vista operating system, Microsoft is paying Jerry Seinfeld $10 million for an endorsement, the Wall Street Journal reported this morning. Yes, because if there's one surefire way to convince everyone Vista is cool, cutting edge and not liable to get frazzled by life's minor complications, it's hiring a 1990s sitcom star and professional kvetcher! Who, um, very visibly owned a series of Macs on his show. This is Microsoft's worst promotional concept since, well, since its last Vista campaign, the Mojave Experiment, which decisively proved that people hate Vista but will use it if they are tricked into thinking it's something else, like a stable, functional tool. Here's how Madison Avenue is responding:

• Amy Winehouse was rushed to the hospital after maybe mixing up some "medication" she is on to fight drug addiction. The basketcase British singer was released within 24 hours.

• Kyle MacLachlan and Desiree Gruber are officially parents. The Desperate Housewives actor and Project Runway executive producer had a son named Callum Lyon MacLachlan on Friday. [Us]

The Monticello Motor Club opens this weekend, where for a mere $125,000 initiation fee (plus $7,500 in annual dues), you can speed around a private racetrack in your Ferrari or Lamborghini at 180 MPH without worrying about hassles from the state troopers. Sound like the sort of silly concept hatched during the boom days of 2005? That's exactly what it is, says the Times, adding that despite the tanking economy, almost all the "founding memberships" are spoken for. (Porsche addict Jerry Seinfeld, not surprisingly, has already reserved a spot.) And what do you get for your six-figure fee? In addition to 200 days of track use every year, members gain access to the club's "exotic selection" of cars, can book a session at the spa on the premises (a massage might be nice after smashing into a guard rail), and also have access to "onsite emergency medical support." (We're guessing the latter is one amenity that Jessica Seinfeld is hoping her husband doesn't take advantage of.) Pics of this little haven for boys and their pricey little toys after the jump.

It's been more than ten years since Seinfeld went off the air, but Jerry Seinfeld still rakes it in: It's been estimated he collects as much as $60 million a year from reruns, DVD sales, and the occasional stand-up gig. Of course, he and wife Jessica know how to spend that money, too. But in addition to their many extravagances (huge apartment in the Beresford, massive estate in East Hampton, hundreds of Porsches), the couple donates a good chunk of change to charity. So which charities are the beneficiaries of the esteemed Seinfeld Family Foundation? Jerry's largest donation was to Scholarship America ($950,905). But he also handed over some cash to other causes near and dear, like the Comedy Cures Foundation ($1,000) and a non-profit that teaches chess to public high school students ($500). Have a look for yourself at the $3 million the Seinfelds handed out in 2006 after the jump.

Undeterred by Jerry Seinfeld identifying her as a potential assassin because of her three names, cookbook author Missy Chase Lapine is expanding her defamation lawsuit against the Seinfelds to also include Jessica Seinfeld's publisher HarperCollins. Both Lapine's book, The Sneaky Chef, and the book she accuses of ripping it off, Deceptively Delicious, became bestsellers, but—surprise!—the author with the famous husband who also landed a coveted appearance on Oprah has sold many more copies of her book.

You know when you get really hungry and you're just dying for a delicious, rich, chocolatey piece of... Allen Grubman? Yes, indeed, you can pick up a slice of "Allen Grubman Double Chocolate Pudding Pie" at the tourist trap the Brooklyn Diner on West 57th Street. (It happens to be a block from Grubman's office.) Here are a few other dishes named after local boldface names.

1) Miguel Forbes took a cruise to Sag Harbor aboard the family-owned Highlander, along with Alejandro Santo Domingo, Dan Abrams, Dave Zinczenko and Melissa Milne, Elle Macpherson, Stella Keitel, Craig Spitzer, Fabian Basabe, Sessa Von Richthofen (pictured, right) and Richard Johnson. [NYSD/PMc]

· Forget gay marriage—we're waiting for domestic/employer marriages to be legalized, so that Flipping Out's Jeff Lewis can finally make an honest woman out of his frittata-serving lifemate, Zoila. [Bravo]
· Jerry Seinfeld's lawyers are now accusing cookbook author Missy Chase Lapine of craftily switching lawsuit terminology from "comedian" to "actor" to help her defamation case, which to us suggests they're getting desperate. [AP]
· Charlie Sheen feels just awful about using the N-word in some voicemails he left Denise Richards three years ago. He would also like to stress that that doesn't at all lessen his desire to see her nudged off the side of a hot air balloon basket. [ET Online]
·Ah, UTA Joblist, how far you've tumbled: Paradigm is now slumming it on Craigslist in search of assistants. [Craigslist]
· A moose head in your bed will be the least of your problems when you cross Canada's ruthless Salmon Mafia. [CNN]

• Esquire's editor-in-chief David Granger says he never got a call from Bill Clinton, as the former president suggested in his comments last night when he was asked to respond to the incendiary Vanity Fair story by Todd Purdum. Turns out it was a measly staff editor who emailed. [Politico]

Despite his best attempts, Tom Cruise has officially failed his mission of keeping wife Katie Holmes off Broadway and out of New York. As we learned earlier this year, the escape-hungry Holmes was offered a role in this fall’s Arthur Miller play All My Sons, giving her a chance to remind the industry she was once an actress. But Cruise was rumored to have squashed the idea, punishing his true love by sending her off to Scientology boot camp. But Us is confirming that Holmes has signed on anyway, meaning the tight Cruise clan will be spending autumn in New York. We can only hope NBC successfully woos Jerry Seinfeld into a deal by then, lest TomKat’s previous recruitment plans for the comedian remain a high priority. [Us]

Back in October of 2006, Vanity Fair shocked us all by nabbing the first family photos of until-then MIA Suri Cruise, the tiny Xenuphobic bundle of joy Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes had masterfully kept hidden months after her no-screaming-allowed birth. Why were we shocked? Accusations from both the press and the masses flooded the public narrative claiming little Suri looked nothing like Tom or Katie, some going so far as to claim the pregnancy was faked. But after the Knights of Hubbard spent this past weekend in New York with Suri in tow, it's become clear to us that Suri is quite obviously a real-live Cruise. The pictures that convinced us, along with details on which stars the Cruises spent time proselytizing dining with out East, after the jump.

Blogging on the election (presidential, not Idol) for the Huffington Post, Larry David admits he's lost a bit of confidence in the increasingly histrionic Hillary Clinton: "There have been times in this campaign when she seemed so unhinged that I worried she'd actually kill herself if she lost...I don't care if it's 3 a.m. or 10 p.m. or any other time. I don't want her talking to Putin, I don't want her talking to Kim Jong Il, I don't want her talking to my nephew. She needs a long rest. She needs to put on a sarong and some sun block and get away from things for a while, a nice beach somewhere." We're looking forward to Jerry Seinfeld's own op-ed on the race, in which he asks, "What is with this Hillary Rodham Clinton? The woman's totally a woodwork wacko! And she's a three-name woman...and many of the three-named people do become assassins." [HuffPo]

A Seinfeld sitcom denial! "NBC and Jerry Seinfeld shot down a New York Post report Friday that the comic was in talks with the network about a new sitcom. 'There's nothing to it,' said NBC spokeswoman Rebecca Marks." Pressed if there was even an outside chance of a special Seinfeld-themed Deal or No Deal, in which Newman, Uncle Leo, Soup Nazi, Susan, and the rest of the supporting players hoisted aluminum briefcases in place of the regular models, Marks simply pressed her lips tightly, turned an imaginary key at the corner of her mouth, and tossed it away. [Yahoo/AP]

Jerry Seinfeld hasn't had a whole lot to do since his seminal sitcom left the airwaves (completely voluntarily, despite what Larry King might have thought); his surfeit of downtime has been primarily filled slandering his wife's plagiarism accuser and shitting CGI honey-pats on the Oscars podium. It turns out, however, that Seinfeld will not sit idle much longer:

• Singer Britney Spears, said to be worth around $50 million, has become steadily more sane since her father was placed in control of her finances and other affairs several weeks ago. She parted ways with hanger-on ex-paparazzo Adnan Ghalib and earned the right to see her children more often. Apparently her father is compensated at $2,500 per week for his oversight, and the many tabloids that make money off Spears insanity are incredulous. So is comedian Rosie O'Donnell, who wrote in her Web Q&A forum that Spears' dad's high pay has become "the problem." Apparently these people have never priced rehab, or done some simple math on the scale of Spears' image problem.