jerks

Top Foreclosure Firm Threw Homeless-Themed Halloween Bash

Max Read · 10/29/11 02:50PM

If you're one of the nation's top "foreclosure mill" law firms—representing Citigroup, JPMorgan Chase, Bank of America and Wells Fargo in their attempts to foreclose on homes and evict homeowners—what better way to celebrate Halloween than by throwing a party where everyone comes as a dirty, homeless victim of your practice?

Guy Fieri Accused of Harassing Women, Disliking Gays

Richard Lawson · 10/17/11 12:00PM

The Food Network's resident lightning strike victim Guy Fieri, host of the popular carb porn show Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives, is, shockingly, a complete jerk. According to one alt weekly anyway.

'Guess the Next Cashier to Be Fired!' Contest Unpopular With Cashiers

Lauri Apple · 10/02/11 05:27PM

An Iowa convenience store owner tried to reward his most clairvoyant employees by awarding $10 to any cashier who correctly guessed which of their coworkers were soon to become an ex-coworker. Ten whole dollars! Enough to buy Doritos and gum for your entire family. Enough to buy ten Mega Lucky Power Lotto Ball tickets.

Woman Delivers Own Baby After Cabbie Kicks Her Out of Taxi

Lauri Apple · 09/24/11 11:02AM

Pregnantly popping Ana Belis Hernandez of Tegucigalpa, Honduras had to deliver her baby on a city sidewalk all by her lonesome after the taxi driver who was supposed to take her to the hospital decided that he didn't want to deal with all that drama and gore and kicked her out of his car.

Muslim Man's Burger Comes With 9/11 Terror Drawing

Lauri Apple · 09/14/11 04:49AM

On September 11, a Muslim man going by the name "Tarek G." on Yelp ordered a burger from the Houston restaurant Petrol Station and received it in a "Happy September 11" box complete with an airplane crashing into one of the Twin Towers. Now that's personalized customer service.

Idaho Town Terrorized by Guy in Bunny Suit

Brian Moylan · 08/02/11 01:29PM

The police in Idaho Falls have asked 34-year-old William Falkingham to stop wearing his bunny suit in public after getting complaints that he was scaring children. What about this guy's First Amendment rights?

The Ne Plus Ultra of Enraging Trend Stories

Hamilton Nolan · 07/25/11 08:12AM

The New York Times really knows what it's doing, when it comes to trend stories. What it's doing is not "Finding and identifying important fact-based trends and bringing them to light, for the public good." What it's doing is "Finding and identifying thoroughly unimportant trends which may or may not be real but which will serve to enrage the average reader enough to make it onto the 'Most Emailed' list."

This $100 Million ATM Receipt Will Make You Hate Yourself

Brian Moylan · 06/29/11 02:44PM

How much do you have in your checking account? Probably enough to cover rent and the five vodka tonics it will take to make you forget that you just paid rent and are now officially tapped out. Right? Well, this one jackass keeps $100 million in his account.

Old Reporter Outraged that Young Press Secretary Is on Facebook

Hamilton Nolan · 05/19/11 02:48PM

In your odd Thursday media column: an old reporter goes on a Facebook-shaming rampage, the Boston Globe is suddenly "not for sale," Dick Ebersol retires, Bill Keller is still talking, and Al Gore says News Corp's censoring his network.

Lars Von Trier Says He's a Nazi

Richard Lawson · 05/18/11 10:54AM

International man of idiocy (and occasionally brilliant filmmaking) Lars von Trier is at Cannes promoting his new movie Melancholia, and at a recent press conference the Danish director went off the rails with a weird diatribe about his Nazi sympathies.

Hero Lobbyist Bills Exonerated Former Prisoners for Millions

Hamilton Nolan · 05/10/11 10:48AM

Kevin Glasheen is a lawyer in Texas. He is also a lobbyist. He successfully lobbied the state to pass a bill raising the amount of money that it pays to inmates who are exonerated and freed after being wrongfully convicted and imprisoned. For completing this fine deed, Glasheen expects to be paid handsomely—by the freed inmates themselves.

World's Biggest Jerk Allegedly Runs Over Ducklings in His Hummer

Max Read · 04/27/11 07:07PM

College student Dillon Pearce probably did not set out to be a jerk of almost cosmic proportions when he head to McDonald's on Monday. And yet, according to police, he ended up intentionally running over four ducklings. In his Hummer.