• NBC chief Jeff Zucker says that despite the fact Jim Cramer got his ass handed to him last week by Jon Stewart, it's had absolutely no impact on CNBC. Believe that and you may also be willing to buy that everything's perfect at MSNBC and NBC, and Zucker has a perfect head of hair, too. [Portfolio, B&C]
• Crain Communications has cut 150 staffers and sliced salaries by 10%. [PC]
• Don Hewitt, the creator of 60 Minutes, is in the hospital with cancer. [Wow]
• Media advertising fell 2.6% in 2008, according to Nielsen. [B&C]
• Interview seems to be having financial difficulties. [Gawker]
• Discovery has filed a patent suit against Amazon over the Kindle. [WSJ]
• The Hills's Audrina Patridge has a reality show of her own in the works. [THR]
• CNN's Lou Dobbs is a racist. But you probably knew that already. [Gawker]

NBC capo Jeff Zucker, today: "CNBC is a spectacular organization and in particular Jim Cramer."

Denial appears to be the official position on Jim Cramer following his pantsing by Jon Stewart. CNBCers don't believe there's a problem, while MSNBC is doing their best to pretendCramer doesn't exist.

Vanity Fair and USA Network celebrated the launch of "The Character Project" photo exhibit at Stephen Weiss Studio last night. Editor Graydon Carter, the mag's publisher Edward Menicheschi, and NBC Cable Entertainment president Bonnie Hammer were on hand to welcome Mena Suvari, Christian Siriano (left), Lucy Liu, Donna Karan and daughter Gabby De Felice, Katie Lee Joel, Rachel Roy, Rosie Perez, Jeff Goldblum, Peggy Siegal, Rose McGowan, Sylvia Plachy, Michael Musto, Gigi Stone, Lisa Anastos, Caryn and Jeff Zucker, Paz de la Huerta, Sky Nellor, Jeremy Kost, Josh Bernstein, Yigal Azrouël, Elise Overland, Bettina Prentice, Sarah Sophie Flicker, Kipton Cronkite, Liam McMullan, Izzy Gold, and Gossip Girl's Amanda Setton and Dreama Walker. [PMc, Wireimage, Getty, VF, NYO]

Nadya Suleman might consider her decision to have octuplets "irrational," but she's still totally going to sell the birth video. Maybe Ashley Dupre can teach her how to meditate amid 14 screaming kids.

• Giuseppe Cipriani hasn't been seen in New York for months, but he says that has nothing to do with the handful of investigations now underway, or because he's banned from the US. He's just "busy" and says he'll return to New York "soon." His son Ignazio has been busy, too. The 20-year-old has been charged with third-degree assault for beating up a limo driver outside 1OAK back in December. [NYP, R&M]
• The latest man to fall into Paris Hilton's clutches: She was was spotted at Sundance making out with MySpace CEO Chris DeWolfe. [P6, NYDN]
• Prince William's girlfriend, Kate Middleton, may be planning to move to New York to take a job in fashion, thanks to advice she received from Tom Ford and Anna Wintour. [Daily Express]
• Maureen Dowd threw a big party on Sunday eve to honor of David Geffen. In attendance: Tom Hanks, Jeff Zucker, David Katzenberg, Ron Howard, and George Stephanopoulos, who knocked over a tray of martinis and left the party red-faced. [P6]

Hey, you there! Think you can run a network? You may be able to do it better than NBC's boy-king Jeff Zucker, who Jay Leno has just exposed as a total space cadet.

Remember this lady, Sarah Palin? She was famous for appearing every Saturday night on the tee-vee, saying cute things about Russia, gays, and Katie Couric. Or maybe that was her portrayer, Tina Fey?

• Sean Avery may be spending a lot more time in New York in the near future: Hockey's preeminent bad boy has been cut loose by the Dallas Stars just 23 games into a four-year contract. [NYP]
• Jennifer Aniston was supposedly so desperate to have a boyfriend during the promotional tour for Marley & Me that her camp started "shopping for potential dates." [P6]
• David Paterson was not at all pleased with the impression of him on SNL this weekend. [NYP]
• Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber had a second son on Saturday. [People, E!]

What does Ben Silverman, skiing enthusiast and co-chairman of craptacular NBC, do when everyone wonders why he's still employed? Judging by today's New York Post, tell his favorite outlet how great he is.

As Jeff Zucker foists his last hopes for NBC on Leno and his arsenal of funny newspaper-clipping typos, his arch nemesis—future galactic despot Les Moonves—couldn't help but engage in a favorite pastime:

All eyes were on Conan last night in anticipation of what, if anything, he'd say about NBC's surprise announcement that Jay Leno would upstage his long-planned ascension to The Tonight Show throne.

So SAG's fucked. Wait—did we say "fucked?" There we go again—needless doomsday prophesying where Obaman cool-headedness is clearly required. What we meant to say is: "SAG's probably fucked." Yesterday brought a confluence of Pop Culture Doomsday events that not even a walrus blowing like Bird could have foretold:

Jay Leno is moving to 10 p.m., every god damn night of the week! That sure is something. You never realize how many people love Jay Leno until something like this happens (or until you find yourself in a comedy club in Winston-Salem, talking to the owner, Roy). NBC is obviously happy about it—and so is Jay, or he would have taken his middling act elsewhere—but, as in everything in showbiz, some people got screwed in this deal. After the jump, the biggest winners and losers of the Return of the Chin:

Jay Leno will stay at NBC and move to 10pm weeknight slot after Conan O'Brien takes over his Tonight Show in June, Broadcasting & Cable and Nikki Finke are reporting. Everyone thought Leno was probably going to end up at ABC after he said in a July interview "I am definitely done next year - with NBC." But NBC Universal chief Jeff Zucker persuaded him to stay! Probably with wheelbarrows full of money. The big loser in all this? That would probably be embattled NBC Entertainment co-chairman Ben Silverman, who just survived a major corporate bloodletting but suddenly finds himself with five fewer hours a week to program. And to think he was having so much fun skiing in Utah this weekend!

"'They call her the black widow. Every program she touches turns to death,' growled our source. 'She is on very thin ice.'" That was how Page Six described Universal Media Studio President Katherine Pope (pictured) last month in a suspiciously positioned item foisting blame for the network's disastrous string of recent offerings—shows like Bionic Woman, My Own Worst Enemy, Lipstick Librarians, and freshly squeezed lemon Knight Rider—on her fetchingly exposed shoulders. Nikki Finke accuses Silverman of having leaked the items himself ("that's one of the fringe benefits of his selling his Reveille to Elisabeth Murdoch and yachting with her this summer") in her analysis of today's shakeup that saw not just Pope's exit, but that of NBC Entertainment EVP Teri Weinberg, as well. (Weinberg was the D-girl Silverman brought over from Reveille who was later discovered in the compromising position technically referred to in the business as shtupping your showrunner. Because no one ever fucks anyone they work with in Hollywood—ever.)

That whole Project Runway lawsuit, between the Weinstein Company and the television conglomerate they dissed, NBC/Universal, is never going to end. Well, not if Harvey Weinstein and NBC head brass Jeff Zucker can't play nice. The New York Times did a little status update for the lawsuit this morning (basically everything is the same: jilted ex-lover doesn't want to let the fashion design show go to its new middle-aged girlfriend Lifetime, because of first refusal contracts, allegedly) that brings up some bitchy new details about their relationship. Basically, Zucker thought the two honchos were besties that he'd never screw NBC over, but Weinstein says nuh-uh:

There's something surreal/delightful about a swishy dressmaking contest provoking such a momentous battle between a couple of bald, middle-aged, Jewish heterosexuals. Yes, Harvey Weinstein and NBC's Jeff Zucker are still squabbling about Project Runway, and, to the chagrin of the show's many devoted fans, seem no closer to kissing and making up. For those of us who haven't managed to quite grasp the intricacies of this particular catfight, today's Times breaks it down: Weinstein, whose company produces the series, tried to move it from NBC-owned Bravo to Lifetime, because he hates Bravo's president Lauren Zalaznick. But Zucker said, hold on, NBC has the right of first refusal to keep the show on one of its channels, and filed suit.

Just when it looked as though viewers were going to be cruelly deprived of their weekly life-affirming glimpse into the lives of three mistresses of the universe who always drop everything to be supportive to one other (or to engage in the most idealized cougar-cub relationship ever likely to grace our screens), Lipstick Jungle has won an eleventh-hour reprieve.

Last week we jumped on the news that tiresome ladybusiness drama Lipstick Jungle had been canceled. We may have, heh, actually danced on its grave a little. But, it sounds like we were wrong! People from the three-business-ladies-make-sex-with-men-and-drink-and-talk show are now coming out and saying that the show is not over at all. Just ask the series's star, Brooke Shields: