Hollywood's highest-paid scab Jay Leno's recent solicitation of Ryan Phillippe's "gayest look" for his cameras, part of a longer, excruciatingly unfunny and offensive bit about the actor's role as TV's first gay teen on One Life To Live, has now spawned a website, called My Gayest Look For Jay Leno: It invites people to send in their gayest looks, which seem to involve a great deal of creative bird-flipping. The site was co-created by Avenue Q playwright Jeff Whitty, who previously penned an open letter beseeching The Tonight Show host to stop making homophobic jokes in his monologues. Leno apparently called him up for a half-hour talk about Whitty's concerns, but has since returned to his egregious ways. We fear it's time to call in Ross the Intern to mediate what is quickly growing into an ugly and contentious affair between Jay and the Gays.

Tonight Show host Jay Leno was interviewing Ryan Phillippe last week and asked the movie star to give him "your gayest look." To facilitate this, Leno suggested the actor, who got his big break by playing a gay teenager on a soap opera, imagine the camera as a strapping hunk. Continuing in his awkward sexualization of Phillippe, Leno then eagerly asked him about a nude Armani Jeans commercial he did. Phillippe threatened to leave, repeatedly and only half-jokingly, and Avenue Q playwright Jeff Whitty, who had already tangled with Leno over homophobia, is raising hell. "I've gotta ask: would you ask a guest to make their 'blackest face?' Their 'Jewiest face?'" After the jump, Leno's video, and a recollection by Whitty of something dumb Leno supposedly said in a phone call two years ago.

On last Wednesday's The Tonight Show, Towleroad notes, Ryan Phillippe popped by to promote Stop-Loss. Host Jay Leno—a man being courted aggressively by studios and networks, with promises of eight-figure contracts and brand new theaters bearing his name—opened the interview with questions about Phillippe's first paying job on One Life To Live.

• Amy Winehouse's dad is trying to steal credit for some of his daughter's problems, but not the drug thing. Just the other ones. He was cheating on Winehouse's mom basically since the singer was born, then moved in with his mistress when she was 10, then married the mistress. Now Amy Winehouse makes songs like "What It Is About Men." [Us]

Comedy shows had a tough time dealing with the Eliot Spitzer sex scandal Monday night, since the story broke not in the morning papers, like most of their fodder, but in the afternoon. Comedy Central's Daily Show, for example, led with some half-baked Spitzer jokes before segueing into a package on the Wyoming Democratic primary. Half an hour later, the Colbert Report was hardly any better. Even Jay Leno on NBC's Tonight Show stumbled when he delivered an off-color joke that turned the audience against him (see video after the jump). But CBS Late Show host David Letterman, who has always affected a loose and quirky manner in front of the camera, unleashed a barrage of smart jokes at the start of his monologue that are still worth watching 36 hours later:

Seemingly unstoppable late night force Jay Leno has already demonstrated that he needs no writers to conquer his time slot: Audiences looking for non-addictive insomnia cures and lovemaking soundtracks clearly prefer Leno's middling presence and chirpy joke-delivery over his more cantankerous competitors. For whatever reason, however, the management at NBC decided four years ago that Leno required an expiration date, unfeelingly stamping the host on the forehead with a "BEST BEFORE 2009" notice, and designating Conan O'Brien as his successor. Now, a full two years before his contract expires, rival networks and studios are unfurling their green, high-currency plumage, and doing the late-night mating dance for the still viable talk show host. The NY Times reports:

The decade's best Oscars host Steve Martin (we still cherish his Best Actor intro line, "gay poet, crazed artist, a shipwrecked victim, a roman gladiator....but enough about me...") stopped by the Late Show with David Letterman last night to catch up with his old friend. Touching upon the topic of the writers strike, Martin, like so many of his fellow scribes, suddenly found himself with an abundance of free time, which he chose to fill by "writing movie scripts and TV pilots...and then I would sell them to the studios."

Despite seemingly insurmountable handicaps—the loss of his striking writers, an inability to find guests willing to risk being considered WGA-undermining picket-line crossers, and a hated timeslot nemesis working at full strength due to his own Guild side-deal, Jay Leno has, amazingly, continued to win the battle of late night since everyone returned to work in early January. Today's NY Times attempts to unlock the secrets of Leno's crazy-making success, noting that despite the lower quality of available seat-fillers, he's been able to do the same show he's always done by maintaining his usual output of tepid monologue jokes. Asked about Leno's ability to crank out dozens of gags per night without the benefit of his absent staff, defenders cite his impressive talent for passing off his stale, unfunny material as fresh:

Letterman, on comedians' union meeting in the late 1970s: "Jay, bless his heart, couldn't sit still. He was behaving like a hyperactive child. Jumping up and down, being funny and distracting, to the point where everybody sort of thought, well, maybe we shouldn't tell Jay about the next meeting." [Time]

No, Conan O'Brien isn't scheduled to take over the festering pustule of unfunniness that The Tonight Show has become under Jay Leno's whine of terror until 2009, but he's making it abundantly clear that there will be no lingering goodbyes for the Chin by buying a big ol' mess of real estate right in his backyard. Yes, this is how multimillionaire nerds thumb their noses at each other, with 8.5 bathrooms and 10-foot ceilings, so take that, Leno! But ginormous ceilings are only the half of it...

· For at least their first three nights back on the air, the writerless Jay Leno has triumphed over WGA-sanctioned rival David Letterman in the Nielsen wars. In another sign that the TV apocalypse may finally be upon us, shows like Wife Swap, Supernanny, The Biggest Loser, and Celebrity Apprentice are so far either posting the same numbers as or outperforming the scripted shows they've replaced for their networks. [Variety]
· Walden Media deems High School Musical star/naughty nudie-photo-scandal victim Vanessa Hudgens still pure enough to employ, signing her on to their coming-of-age dramedy Will. [THR]

Finding it nearly impossible to land quality guests because of talent's maddening unwillingness to run a gauntlet of taunting, red-shirted WGA picketers just to spend six uncomfortable minutes trying to sound enthused about a movie they only took to make a weekend-house mortgage payment, Jay Leno and Jimmy Kimmel last night paid reciprocal visits to each other's star-hungry couches, hoping that chatting about their strike-related travails might be a diverting way to kill a few minutes of airtime.

Ever since the late night talk shows returned to the air, Leno has been beating Letterman in the ratings, as he has for a good dozen years. This despite Leno still working without his writers (a terrible, uncomfortable sight), all of whom are still on strike. Letterman's production company's deal with the WGA gave him back his staff, but hasn't awarded him a ratings edge—until Monday! "In the overnight ratings, measuring the country's 65 largest cities, Mr. Letterman had a 4 rating on Monday to Mr. Leno's 3.8. (Each point is worth 787,659 households.)." Of course, Leno still won the first half-hour. But once they brought the guests out, Letterman had America's favorite Oscar-whoring not-funny-anymore superstar Tom Hanks! Leno had Ron Paul. Enough to win an unscientific online poll, yes, but not to beat Forrest Gump in Nielsen households. So writers finally have some proof that their contributions are important! Specifically, their contribution of a sad picket line that SAG members and bleeding-heart superstars will hopefully continue to refuse to cross. [NYT]

The WGA's displeasure with The Tonight Show host Jay Leno's self-penned monologues only continues to grow—while Conan O'Brien seems to get a pass, exempt under the "Actually Funny" clause—to the point where NBC has felt the need to issue a statement on the matter. Meanwhile, with SAG boycotting decrees making it increasing difficult to get even B-list asses on non-Worldwide Pants couches, the comedian has found an unlikely ally in another late night rival:

Like an ouroboros of unfunny talk show hosts or that kid from Miranda July's movie pooping back and forth, with the same poop, forever, on Thursday Jimmy Kimmel will appear on the Tonight Show with scabby Jay Leno's and then Jay Leno will appear on Jimmy Kimmel's show! Please writers, cease your demands! No one should have to watch this. Same poop. Back and forth. Forever.

Though WGA member Jay Leno seemed to think that writing his own monologue on last night's Tonight Show wasn't flouting the Guild's strike guidelines, the union this afternoon announced via this terse public statement that it had a little heart-to-heart with the host about the matter: "A discussion took place today between Jay Leno and the Writers Guild to clarify to him that writing for The Tonight Show constitutes a violation of the Guilds' strike rules."

· Overcoming the apparently mild inconvenience of putting on shows without their striking writers, Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien still triumphed over fully staffed talk-show rivals David Letterman and Craig Ferguson in Wednesday night's Nielsen battle. In fairness to the WGA-approved programs, however, it should be noted that many viewers might have chosen to tune in to Leno out of irresistible curiosity about how unfunny the host would be on his own. [THR]
· Though the Golden Globes briefly harbored hope that the Writers Guild might give them a waiver for their rapidly approaching awards show, the WGA isn't going to cut them a break and still plans to picket. [Variety]

Last night, America's late night talk show hosts went to back to work. Letterman and the Scottish Guy had their writing staff, as Letterman's production company worked out a deal with the WGA. Leno and Conan, stuck with the less liberal negatiators of NBC, were unable to work out a deal and went on writer-less. Conan filled the time with close-ups of his strike beard and a thrilling segment in which he spun his wedding ring on his desk for 36 seconds. Leno, though, delivered a monologue that was more or less indistinguishable in its bland hackiness from any other Tonight Show monologue of the last dozen years. Because, as he admitted part-way through, he wrote it himself. In advance. In specific violation of WGA rules! (Leno—like Letterman, like Conan, and unlike Kimmel Carson Daly [whoops]—is a WGA member.) We caught this when we flipped over to Leno for a sec during Letterman's punchier, Made In America By Union Labor monologue, and Nikki Finke confirms its odd interpretation of WGA guidelines. [Deadline Hollywood Daily]

After a temporary reprieve from the unfunniness of Jay Leno, the big-chinned talk show host is back and with him presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee. Huckabee talks about being a fat kid, lays down some funky almost Clintonian licks and, at the end, weirdly endorses Barack Obama.

Hoping to win back The Tonight Show audiences (who, let's face it, just want their nightly dose of Kevin Eubanks and could really give a fuck what the Writers League of America wants or needs), Jay Leno bounds over picket lines and back into our hearts with a heartfelt plea for the livelihoods of the 141 members of his staff not responsible for highlighting and dry mounting those funny little newspaper clippings sent in by viewers. Tragically, where his CBS nemesis succeeded in finding a workable solution with the Guild—which has had Leno's sympathy and donuts since the very start!—The Tonight Show could not, leaving the juiciest of cross-denominational bistro-patron set-ups punchlineless, for the time being at least.