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No, Conan O'Brien isn't scheduled to take over the festering pustule of unfunniness that The Tonight Show has become under Jay Leno's whine of terror until 2009, but he's making it abundantly clear that there will be no lingering goodbyes for the Chin by buying a big ol' mess of real estate right in his backyard. Yes, this is how multimillionaire nerds thumb their noses at each other, with 8.5 bathrooms and 10-foot ceilings, so take that, Leno! But ginormous ceilings are only the half of it...

The Real Estate Stalker has conveniently posted pictures of the $10,750,000 "gated compound" so we can all sigh over the six bedrooms, 1,500-bottle wine room, spa and paneled library that could have been ours, ours, dammit, if only we'd gone to Harvard! There are also six fireplaces in the newly built home, where we can only guess the Red Bearded One will be burning Leno's old cue cards and laughing the righteous laugh of the victorious. And somewhere in a garage deep in the heart of Burbank, one man will sit, in the dark, plotting his revenge...