• Heidi Klum and Seal have a new addition to the family: Lou Sulola, who was born on Friday night and joins siblings Johan, Henry, and Leni. [People]
• Tyra Banks ought to be in a good mood today. Not only has she dropped four dress sizes recently, she's been named the "top-earning primetime TV star" by Forbes thanks to the $30 million she's collected over the past year. [Daily Mail, MSNBC]
• The latest legal tiff between Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook is over: The couple has settled their dispute, which means neither of them will be heading off to jail. [People]
• Was Penelope Cruz sporting a giant sapphire and diamond ring the other night because she really is engaged to Javier Bardem? And did she wear a bulky sweater over her dress because she's pregnant? So many questions, so few answers. Sigh. [P6, NYDN]

• The Letterman mess rolls on. The Late Show host issued another apology on his show last night, describing how the scandal has impacted his wife, Regina Lasko ("She's been horribly hurt by my behavior"), and kindly pointing out that he's not having sex with any of his current staffers. Meanwhile, Stephanie Birkitt, the woman at the center of the "scandal," supposedly wrote in her diary that she was dating alleged extortionist Robert "Joe" Halderman and sleeping with Letterman as recently as last fall, leading Halderman to flip out when he read her diary in December. [NYP, NYDN]
• So are Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem engaged? While Cruz's rep went with "no comment," Bardem's flack said, "I really don't know, but would not be able to say anything even if I did." That sounds like a "yes" to us! [People]
• Celebrity chef Todd English skipped out of his wedding at the last minute this past weekend. His jilted bride went ahead with the party anyway, while English headed to South Beach to hit the bars and clubs. Classy. [P6]
• Heidi Klum has filed documents to change her name to "Heidi Samuel," since that's Seal's last name. Please update your address book accordingly. [TMZ]

• Lindsay Lohan's first collection as Emmanuel Ungaro's "creative director" was unveiled at Paris Fashion Week yesterday. And let's just say the reviews weren't overwhelmingly positive. Described as "cheesy," "dated," and "truly hideous," more than a few critics suggested she get back to acting. And the show ended with Lohan in tears, which probably isn't the most auspicious sign. [MSNBC, WWD, WSJ, Daily Mail]
• Chris Noth is engaged to his longtime girlfriend, Tara Wilson. [People]
• In other relationship news, rumor has it Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem are planning to get married, too. [NYDN]
• The David Letterman sex-with-staffers scandal was the butt of plenty of jokes on The Jay Leno Show, Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, and this weekend's SNL, not surprisingly. (Seth Meyers called Robert "Joe" Halderman's alleged $2 million extortion attempt a "stupid human trick.") Meanwhile, a second woman, Holly Hester, was identified as another one of the late night host's hook-ups and the tabloids reported Letterman keeps a "bachelor pad atop the Ed Sullivan Theater," although it might just be an office with a fold-out couch. [Us, NYDN, TMZ]

Lindsay Lohan makes her big Paris Fashion Week catwalk debut. Beyonce dad is impregnating women and moving women to the left. Vincent Gallo: still awesome. Liza Minella, Michael Jackson, Padma, Diller, the High Line! Here's your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup:

Some ignorant folk don't think "public speaker" Sarah Palin deserves her outlandishly steep paycheck. Eddie Furlong's hitting the coke pipe. And Penelope Cruz enjoys kissing both Charlize Theron and Scarlett Johansson. It's your Wednesday morning gossip roundup!

If you expect the results of that headline to be anything but spectacular, stop reading, click past the jump now. Anna Paquin's doggy ring, Khloe Kardashian, Neve Campbell, Snoop Dogg, BBC sitcoms. Presenting your ridiculous Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:

Jon Gosselin's gambling at Foxwoods, but it's Robert Pattinson who can't lose. Stephenie Meyer's getting sued, because she's no Astronaut Mya or, uh, Billy Bush. Or Hayden Panettiere's 'Pink Taco' sharing Harry Morton. Visionaries! Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup!

Cameron Diaz and Keanu Reeves are allegedly dating, Spencer Pratt wants to be the next Brad Pitt, Michael Jackson's gay lover speaks, Hayden Panettiere is dating the Pink Taco dude, Lindsay Lohan loses her phone and Penelope Cruz gets thicker.

Robert Pattinson whines about not getting more hot chicks, Brad Pitt is a joint-rolling artist, Kate Major says boning Jon Gosselin was "amazing," Mariah Carey disses the Grammys, Alicia Silverstone gets naked and David Cook is dating an older woman.

• BusinessWeek's Jon Fine reports that New York owner Bruce Wasserstein may be in the running to break out a dollar bill and buy BusinessWeek. [BW]
• ESPN banned New York Post employees from appearing on the network yesterday after the paper ran (blurry) pics of a nude Erin Andrews. [AP]
• Will will happen with McKinsey consultants now infiltrating Condé Nast? How should you behave if you work there? Some answers and tips. [NYM, Gawker]
• Martha Stewart loves Twitter, doesn't particularly care for Facebook. [TDB]
• Kate Major, the Jon Gosselin-loving, publicity-seeking reporter for publicity-seeking Star magazine, has resigned from the junky tabloid. [Star]
• Ad revenue fell precipitously, but the New York Times Co. reported second-quarter profits of $39.1 million, up from $21.1 million a year ago. [NYT]
• Related: Is the Times Co. planning to hang on to the Boston Globe? [E&P]
• America's most trusted newscaster? That would be Jon Stewart. [Time]

Kim Cattrall breaks up with her man, Will and Jada Smith have lots of sex, Chace Crawford is moving out of Ed Westwick's place to get his own apartment downtown and Megan Fox is shopping for a house.

Today it's mostly just casting casting casting, as TV stars make movie moves and movie actors flee to TV. And Elizabeth Gilbert, I mean Julia Roberts, lands the Spaniard of her dreams.

You may recall that about six months ago, we posted a Photoshop contest winning entry featuring the inspired casting of Javier Bardem as everyone's favorite Prince of Dark Chocolateyness, Count Chocula. We said at the time that we'd definitely shell out for such a movie were it ever to be made, and threw out the suggestion of Philip Seymour Hoffman and Jake Gyllenhaal to play his monstrous kiddie cereal cohorts, Frankenberry and Boo Berry.Just in time for Halloween, the same digital artiste who conceived the original has sent us his rendering of our proposed dream cast in the breakfast mascot roles they were clearly born to play. Seriously—we don't mean to toot our own horns here, but Jake channels his delicious inspiration right down to those half-cocked eyebrows, wonky smirk, and sleepy boo eyes. What are you waiting for, Hollywood. Poor some milk on this sucker and make some magic happen!

· Taylor Hackford is shopping around Love Ranch—a brothel drama starring wife Helen Mirren (oooh!) and Joe Pesci (ewww!)—to studios in search of a distribution partner. [Variety] · Javier Barden has signed on for Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu's new movie, Biutiful, a Spanish-language film about "a man embroiled in shady dealings who is confronted by a childhood friend." We smell cattle bolt fumes! [Variety] · Netflix, who we dumped since they decided to start charging more to rent Blu-ray (you hear us, Netflix? That's the reason. It wasn't us, it was you. Now stop e-mailing, because we found a new rental boyfriend) has hooked up with Samsung, whose new Blu-ray player is equipped to stream their movies. [Variety] After the jump: What director does DreamWorks have on tap to fill Chicago 7 with cameos by his friends?· DreamWorks's The Trial of the Chicago 7 is courting director suitors, having met most recently with Ben Stiller, who assured Steven Spielberg he'd only go quarter-retard in his portrayal of Abbie Hoffman. [THR] · Juan Carlos Gonzalez—who'd certainly adorn any Wheaties box celebrating the Neutral Olympics—looks to be the mediator brought in to oversee SAG-AMPTP talks. We're all but certain this will enliven the proceedings, as anyone who knows Gonzalez knows he can bring even the most bitter of enemies together through the power of mime. [THR]

Que lastima! Has the Johansson-on-Cruz-on Bardem threesome from Vicky Cristina Barcelona been excised? Well, no, although that didn't stop New York's Vulture reporters from declaring, "As die-hard Allen fans who'd love to see one of his movies turn a profit for once, we're sad to report that all threesomes are implied and happen strictly off-camera," which spurred a distraught Gawker to post "Vicky Cristina Barcelona's Big Three-Way Lie." There's just one thing: as the two-thirds of Defamer who've seen the movie can confirm, there is an on-screen threesome in Vicky Cristina Barcelona — albeit a tame, brief one. Details after the jump:

In the latest issue of W, cover girl Penelope Cruz assures the reporter that she “never talk[s] about her private life to journalists...NEVER," Of course, a few grafs above, the pretty little beard-candy spends much of the interview talking, in great detail, about the most private of private issues we didn’t even know we wanted to know! Penelope’s “inner monsters” that have ruined her so-called relationships, why “sweating and bleeding” is her idea of “happiness,” and far more after the jump:

• Republican-leaning movie star Bruce Willis opened a yuppie-friendly wine bar in the East Village, which prompted protests from neighborhood lefties and counterprotests from the Young Republicans. Turns out? He's not a partner in the bar, he just lent his name as a favor. Because, you know, wine, action movie star Bruce Willis — the connection is obvious. Plus he totally made those wine cooler commercials in the 80s. [Observer]

• Victoria Gotti didn't realize she was getting a $70,000 memoir advance to dish dirt on her mobster dad John. Or maybe she did, but she never thought HarperCollins would have the stones to demand it back. [Post]

First things first: Yes, the accompanying new teaser for Woody Allen's Vicky Cristina Barcelona, features about two seconds of Penélope Cruz and Scarlett Johansson kissing. Everyone else is kissing as well: Cruz on Javier Bardem, Bardem on Johansson, so on, so forth. It's apparently the only thing happening in the film, as no sound emerges from peoples mouths when they speak, and no discernible plot line emerges in a minute and a half. We won't spoil the ending, but... Actually we will spoil the ending: Cruz fires a gun at you, the viewer. And as you try to position your head in front of the bullet, you've never felt more grateful. Thanks again for nothing, Weinstein Company. [YouTube]

This pairing of actor and sugar-coated-horror material isn't yet on any studio production slate (it's rather the brainchild of a rogue Photoshopper answering Cracked.com's call for ill-conceived movie monsters), but that doesn't mean the idea is entirely without its merits. For once every comic book superhero has been plundered and replundered, producers of overbaked summer blockbusters will be forced to draw from other beloved, hand-drawn characters of our youth. And hey, once we're fantasizing about Oscar-winning talent like Bardem in the lead, there's no reason why we couldn't shoot for the moon in rounding out the rest of the cast of The Brown Knight: Count Chocula Begins: Philip Seymour Hoffman as Franken Berry, and Jake Gyllenhaal in the role of their dreamy-eyed sidekick, Boo Berry.