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Que lastima! Has the Johansson-on-Cruz-on Bardem threesome from Vicky Cristina Barcelona been excised? Well, no, although that didn't stop New York's Vulture reporters from declaring, "As die-hard Allen fans who'd love to see one of his movies turn a profit for once, we're sad to report that all threesomes are implied and happen strictly off-camera," which spurred a distraught Gawker to post "Vicky Cristina Barcelona's Big Three-Way Lie." There's just one thing: as the two-thirds of Defamer who've seen the movie can confirm, there is an on-screen threesome in Vicky Cristina Barcelona — albeit a tame, brief one. Details after the jump:

Now, keep this in mind: Woody Allen has never been big on the sex scenes. Even the recent, sensual Match Point was all about the foreplay and afterglow, baring nary a R-rated body part. So, too, is Vicky Cristina Barcelona, which features two separate foreplay scenes, each set in the same darkroom: one where Johansson and Cruz lock lips, and one where the kissing actresses coax Javier Bardem to join in. The latter scene doesn't escalate far beyond "You kiss me. Now, you kiss her. OK, now I kiss her!" but it's still fairly steamy for the Wood-man, all things considered. Is it on par with the champagne-soaked menage a trois from Wild Things? Not unless Scar-Jo gets a do-over with Ryan Reynolds and Barack Obama.