• Nobody watched "I'm From Rolling Stone." [WWD]
  

If, like us, you run to the newsstand each Wednesday to get the new issue of Us Weekly, you'll have opened your copy today and noted the above correction. A tipster offers some backstory:

• Jann Wenner fires Men's Journal deputy editor Ben Court. Also, newsstand is down 40 percent since Wenner took over as editor-in-chief. [Jossip]
  

• That Cathy Horyn correction? It was a big "fuck you" to Styles editor Trip Gabriel. [WWD]
• Time is an important magazine that must innovate if it wants to stay relevant. This burst of obviousness brought to you by, yes, Jon Friedman. [Marketwatch]
• Friends of Janice Min want you to know that putting Whitney Houston on the cover of Us Weekly was Jann Wenner's idea. Jann Wenner's bad idea. [Radar]
• Jack Shafer wants more and better rowbacks. [Slate]
• Fired Fox news baseball analyst Steve Lyons isn't racist against Hispanics; it's the Jews he can't stand. [USAToday]

Women's Wear Daily reports that Jann Wenner's decision to replace Michael Caruso at the helm of Men's Journal hasn't worked out as well as, um, pretty much only Jann, expected. "[N]ewsstand sales for the magazine have gotten increasingly worse since Wenner took over as editor in chief last November," says WWD. Why could that be?

Best summer ever? Certainly around the Wenner Media offices, where MTV will be shooting Jann's Adventures in Reality Television, in which Rolling Stone will be presented as a quasi-relevent and hip publication. The cameras may be following around a handful of foolish young'uns competing for the world's most depressing internship, but there's a rising star out there for everyone to catch. Put on your sluttiest outfits, staffers, 'cause filming starts Monday!

One of our tipsters found a tip sheet for last night's Rolling Stone party, distributed to the press by publicists and left behind by a reporter who'd checked off which of the promised celebrities actually showed. No Keyes, no Death Cab, no Jay-Z, no L.A. Reid, no Lohan, no Tom Wolfe. But, hey, how could anyone complain? David Cassidy was there.

So the big Rolling Stone 1,000th issue party was last night, and we've received several reports. Consensus seems to be that it was fun but not as celebrity-laden as Jann would have wanted; the Strokes were good but they were basically the extent of the music; the gift bags sucked; and Jann had a good time. After the jump, reports from our on-site spies, who set the scene, ID the guests, and, in the case of one unhappy caterer, just vent.

• Valerie Plame is shopping a book proposal. As if we needed more proof that getting outed was the best thing to ever happen to her. [NYT]
• As RS turns 1,000, Jann Wenner is rich, neat, and happy. And has a sty in his eye. [WP]
• Shocker: Next audit report will show newspaper circ falling more. [E&P]
• Conde Nast is not trying to buy Rodale, nor vice-versa. [WWD]
• The Postal Service wants to increase rates on mags again, after a previous rate hike in January. Clearly, the Postal Service also wants no one in this business to ever have gainful employment again. [Folio:]

• Jann Wenner says Rolling Stone is still culturally relevant. He says this in USA Today, of course a key arbiter of cultural relevance. [USAT]
• Walter Isaacson will not run for governor of Louisiana. [WWD]
• Down with the Pulitzers. [Miami Herald]

• The UK Observer argues that Rolling Stone is once again the anti-establishment bible, "giving a new lease of life" to editor/publisher Jann Wenner. If so, could the mag once and for all stop pretending it has anything to do with music? Just cut that painful shit loose, please. [Observer UK]
• NB to Tom Cruise: Never, ever publish another piece of writing. And pity the poor soul who had to edit you — we'd rather eat our own scabs. [Time]
• Today David Blaine begins his fishbowl stunt, in which he finds an excuse to subject us to his shirtless torso for one full week. [Gothamist]
• It's wonderflack Jonathan Cheban's dewy MySpace profile! He's actually friends with Lindsay Lohan, which means he can read her MySpace blog entries. Color us jealous. [MySpace]
• Work at Men's Journal? Have a lunch tomorrow with Anderson Cooper? Don't know what to ask him? Then turn to your equally dumbfounded friends at Williamsboard for suggested topics. [Williamsboard]
• Thanks, we think, to a quick rhinoplasty, Ashlee Simpson's nose finally matches that of her sister Jessica. [Cityrag]
• Katie Couric has finally found her Hamptons refuge: a 5,000-square-foot Southampton McMansion. Anyone know the broker? We'd love to see some pics. [NYP]
• Additionally on the matter of brokers, Brownstoner launches Brokerate.com, a simple site where you can rate your experience with the realtors who make your life miserable. [Brokerate]
• Women's fashion mags lead to heartbreak, insecurity, and death. But at least you'll stop eating and be thin. [Coutorture]

Yesterday we suggested — while acknowledging we were basically talking out of our asses — that Jann Wenner wasn't inviting his Rolling Stone staffers to the music mag's big-deal 1,000th issue party. Today comes some clarification on that front. While we received another email early this morning from an insider who'd been snubbed — "it is in fact true that most wenner employees were not invited to this huge party that we're all working so hard for" — we were also forwarded the following email, proving that all editorial folks, even regular freelancers, had been invited:

Wenner Media has put so much into their 1,000th issue party on May 4th — at least hundreds of thousands of dollars, plenty of planning, and they even managed to haggle the Strokes into a performance. Thousands of guests, we hear, and even some lucky subscribers will attend. Yet, for all this effort, we've been told that most employees' invites got, ahem, lost in the mail.

• Hey, Pinch, there's an upside to keeping your stock in the toilet: It's your chance to take the Times Co. private again. Who to fund the deal? Your buddy Steve Rattner, of course! [NYO]
• Did Jann Wenner try to finagle a discounted rate from the Strokes for the RS 1,000th issue party?? Or did the Strokes try to extort more money from Jann? Eh, who cares. [WWD]
• Bill Keller thinks Bushies are out to intimidate the press. You think? [NJ]
• More changes expected at Marie Clarie — which, somehow, the Post makes at least partially Bonnie Fuller's fault. [NYP]
• Because there's nothing this woman can't do, here's dating advice from Bonnie Fuller. [AMNY]
• Oh, sure, Primedia is a disaster of a company. But why does that mean it shouldn't spend $250k to help cover the cost of its CEO's apartment? [Footnoted]

Jann Wenner's longtime and beloved assistant — and that's beloved by everyone at Wenner — is leaving, as WWD reported two weeks ago. And look what recently showed up on HotJobs:

• Us Weekly announces that Britney Spears is pregnant again. You sleep with K-Fed once, fine. We all make mistakes. But to let that thing into your pants twice? That's cause for a public stoning. Meanwhile: sculptors, please get started on your new pieces. [Us Weekly]
• Nick Lachey feels the sting of Jann Wenner's cruel editorship: after sitting down for an interview thinking it would be for the cover of Rolling Stone, he was surprised to find himself on the cover of Us instead. That's what he gets for not talking more shit about his creepy former father-in-law. [Page Six]
• Desperate Housewife Teri Hatcher continues to solicit pity in her new memoir. At any rate, we pity her for actually writing the thing. [R&M]
• West Winger wunderwriter Aaron Sorkin takes his crack-smoking past and turns it into art. Naturally, Matthew Perry has a co-starring role. [Page Six]
• Yesterday we declared Denise Richards to be one of the dumbest rocks to ever rest in the celebrity garden, but maybe we misjudged. By playing nice with the paparazzi, Richards maintains the upper hand in the celebrity weekly war. [Lowdown]
• Rather than put in 240 hours of community service for drunk driving, Lost star Michelle Rodriguez opts for 5 days in the slammer. Bitch is hardcore. [TMZ]

The Wall Street Journal interviews Wenner Media's grand dame, Jann Wenner, in which we learn that at 60 years young, Jann really has no plans for retirement or, you know, any clue who might be his successor. And why should he? It's not like he's a human being who might actually die someday. But we digress. At the interview's end, a change of topic reveals, perhaps, why Jann can't fathom stepping down:

• "Wenner is driving everyone crazy," a staffer tells Keith Kelly. "He keeps changing his mind." This time that refers to plans for the Rolling Stone 1,000th issue party. [NYP]
• Charlie Rose to undergo heart surgery in Paris. It'll be under general anesthetic, which will give the surgeons a chance to get a few words in. [Reuters via Yahoo]
• The biggest Katie question: What exactly is gravitas? [NYO]
• Business books are back. And — have you heard? — Elizabeth Spiers has a new Wall Street blog. [WWD]
• The Newspaper Guild's bid for a dozen erstwhile Knight Ridder papers is backed by Ron Burkle's Yucaipa Cos. (Hmm, where have we heard of them before?) Bill Clinton in on the board of Yucapia. So Bill Clinton could end up as a newspaper owner, sort of. [NYSun]
• Lou Dobbs has discovered that "what works in cable television news is not an objective analysis of the day's events but hard-nosed, unstinting advocacy of a specific point of view." Who knew? [NYT]
• Time Inc. wants to be a web player now. If only the company could find a path. [WSJ]

• A possible ingredient list for the impending child of Jann Wenner and his boyfriend, Matt Nye: Jann's sperm, petri dish, Nye's sister. Mix until the batter is smooth and supple like a young Adonis. [Page Six]
• Kevin Costner's reps deny that he is the Hollywood superstar suspected of fondling his golf club in front of a masseuse at St. Andrews. While they concede the actor enjoyed his time at the golf resort, they deny that Costner is even close to being considered a Hollywood presence. [R&M]
• Paula Abdul claims Simon Cowell has been making her act like a nutjob on American Idol. Well, Simon and the 'ludes, that is. [Scoop]
• The Bush twins were test-tube babies. You needed to know, admit it. [Page Six]
• Because of their published investigation on Scientology, Kirstie Alley tells Rolling Stone that their "cool factor just dropped to Reader's Digest." We'd argue that it wasn't the Scientology piece that did it. [Lowdown (2nd item)]

The people have spoken, and you've picked a name for Jann and Matt's forthcoming baby: Ellie Wenner if it's a girl; Ennis Wenner if it's a boy. The girls' category saw some action: Hunter started in the lead; Jan took over first place for a while; and then today — probably boosted by the National Magazine Award announcements, Ellie pulled ahead for the win. (Which is sort of too bad: Jann has some Ellies already, but he doesn't have a Hunter anymore.) On the boys' side, however, there was never any doubt: Ennis was always on top.