PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in obsessively. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and impress everyone by breaking Fabio down to his fashion-nightmare fundamentals.
We at Defamer love little in life more than when one of our readers goes through the trouble of eroding a famous person's privacy in a trivial way by surreptitiously snapping a blurry cameraphone image while they're in the act of doing something utterly mundane. (Stars, after all, are just like Us! Except with millions more dollars and an entire industry dedicated to documenting their every fart.) Our latest citizen paparazzo caught Shark actor James Woods by an LAX baggage claim on Tuesday; sadly, Woods was not accompanied by age-inappropriate snuggle-buddy/niece-like companion Ashley Madison, robbing us of an opportunity to make a gratuitous joke about how he might have patiently explained the difference between this kind of carousel ("I'm sorry, the horsies are never coming around, baby.") and the one in Griffith Park he used to take her to when she was 5.
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, so send them in often: Baby Jesus implores you! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and share the thrill of Tom Arnold being your first celebrity sighting despite having lived in Los Angeles for several years.
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are now posted several times a week—so send them in before attending to other basic human needs. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and let everyone know about the time you saw Andy Dick fight a losing battle with the call of nature in the Beverly Center 8th floor men's room.
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are now posted several times a week—so send them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and tell everyone about the time you got lost in the McDreamy eyes of Patrick Dempsey doing some holiday shopping at the Disney Employee Store.
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are now posted several times a week—so send them in before attending to other basic human needs. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and let everyone know about the time you saw a Mac attack a burrito.
· Retiring, media-shy actor James Woods on the current state of Hollywood cinema: "I look at movies and they're all so f@&^ing terrible. People ask, 'Why aren't movies more successful?' It's really a simple answer: It's because they stink. Three simple words: Because they f@&^ing stink. That's four words, but you can't write the f@&^ing word. They stink, they stink, they stink, what's wrong with you? They stink. Do better movies. ... Finally, I saw a good movie - 'The Departed." And look what it took: It took Marty Scorsese, Matt Damon, Mark Wahlberg, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jack Nicholson, (screenwriter) Bill Monahan - and it's based on another movie."
· Haley Joel Osment today pleaded no contest to drunk driving and drug possession charges stemming from the involuntary carslaughter of his 1995 Saturn, thus completing his long journey from adorably creepy "I see dead people" kid to former child actor clich .
Arrested Development fans with too much disposable income still have another four days to bid on GOB's segway. Bid now, and bid high—this irreplaceable piece of AD history will get you crazy, crazy laid.
America's Next Top Porn Model's director on Tyra Banks' hypocritical judgment of how adult-film doppleganger Tyra Banxxx makes her living: "I find it funny that a beautiful girl like Tyra Banks who made her career by walking the runways showing off her tits and ass would criticize a girl for making her living showing off her tits and ass. I really don't see the two career choices being polar opposites."
Necktastic Project Runway winner Jeffrey Sebelia becomes possibly the first reality show contestant in the history of the form not to blame seeming like a dick on malicious editing.
· Those NBC layoffs really could have been a lot worse.
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are now posted several times a week—so start sending them in more often. Send yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and let the world hear all about the time Aaron Sorkin betrayed his high-minded comic tastes for the hilarious, acorn-hoarding hijinks of a prehistoric squirrel.
· "Woods is sitting on one side of a couch in the front room with Ashley. Someone mentions 'Entourage,' and Woods reminds everyone that Ashley played his girlfriend. She was the one that was fixing her [breasts], remember? That was her. She was [complaining] and she said, 'My ... shoes hurt.' She improvised all of that. They wanted us to come back, and I said, "I can't come back and keep playing myself for scale." Double scale! I actually have another job, a day job. This one. Ashley: 'Your day job was poker at that time.'" Any couple that enjoys that kind of crackling repartee, no matter how creepily age-mismatched, can weather even the nastiest of break-up rumors.
· Following today's rumors that Mel Gibson is back on the sauce, the local Jewish and Sugar Tit communities called for a summit to plan for the possibility of a new wave of attacks.
· Employee Megan asks the tough questions about the last episode of Studio 60: "1. Would you care if Steve McPherson, Kevin Reilly, Dawn Ostroff, Peter Liguori or Nina Tassler got a D.U.I. eight years ago? 2. Do you know who Steve McPherson, Kevin Reilly, Dawn Ostroff, Peter Liguori or Nina Tassler are? 3. Would you even waste a glance on a tell-all book written about Steve McPherson, Kevin Reilly, Dawn Ostroff, Peter Liguori or Nina Tassler?"
· Brody Jenner clearly got the message that he should be fucking someone a little more famous if he hopes to keep his name in media circulation.
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are now posted several times a week—so start sending them in more often. Send yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and let the world hear all about the time you spotted television's Blossom, Mayim Bialik, looking so damn fine she nearly knocked the gay right out of you.
Just in time for tonight's series premiere of Shark, CBS's new lawyer drama starring James Woods as a "charismatic, supremely self-confident defense attorney who, after a shocking outcome in one of his cases and a personal epiphany, brings his cutthroat tactics to the prosecutor's office," THR, ESQ invites an actual veteran of the L.A. district attorney's office to review how faithfully the show depicts the practice of the law:
The breakup of James Woods and Ashley Madison (his kicky girlfriend 1/3 his age) is more in the sphere of our westward ho, and rightly so. Madison's naked opportunism and Woods's tendency to photograph like a naked mole rat are par for the course in traditional Hollywood couples that celebrate the gap of several generations. However, we happened to spot Woods and Madison near the very beginning of their romance in the lobby of the Ritz-Carlton in New York.
We wrap up People Licked By Andy Dick and Golfing Buddies' 20-Year-Old Daughters Whom James Woods Has Slept With Day on Defamer with a quick trip over to the MySpace profile of Ashley Myrick/Madison, the aspiring actress whose recurring role as Woods' disturbingly young girlfriend was eliminated after a regrettable display of poor graveside etiquette. (The part will be recast as soon as Woods can convince one of his pals to let him drop off his little princess for her first day at USC.) Madison's profile still claims that she's "In a Relationship," either indicating a desire to be on her own following the all-too-public break-up, or an unwillingness to let go of the good times she spent with Woods once California's repressive sexual consent statutes no longer kept the onetime soulmates apart. But don't be too heartbroken for our ex-lovers; in a town brimming with both actresses willing to overlook some wrinkles and a dependence on Viagra for a guy with a good agent and fiftysomething men more than happy to advance their careers in exchange for some affection, both of the star-crossed ex-lovers should find companionship soon enough. We're so optimistic about Woods' chances that we're willing to bet that the next time he goes on vacation with the Quaids, he won't be joking when he says, "Hey, Dennis! My girlfriend's young enough to be your 34-year-old wife's daughter! How do ya like them apples?"
When an actor facing his sixties decides it's time to accessorize his midlife-crisis Lamborghini and neck-wattle reduction surgeries with some decades-younger arm candy, he probably knows that Hollywood's time-honored, sex-for-exposure trade is going to involve the occasional bout of immaturity. Today's NY Daily News Gatecrasher column reports on the tragic end of James Woods' May 1986-December 1947 romance with aspiring actress/opportunistic gerontophiliac Ashley Madison (aka Myrick), precipitated by the 20-year-old's insensitivity at the, like , totally boring funeral of her daddy issue's beloved brother:
From the multiple reports we've gotten surrounding last night's clusterfucky premiere of Pretty Persuasion and a screening of The Aristocrats that would've been unremarkable if not for the incredibly conspicuous presence of a munchies-afflicted Keanu Reeves (in a motorcycle helmet, no less), it seems like everyone was at the ArcLight last night.
