UPDATE: James Woods To Hold High School Casting Call For Better-Mannered Teenage Girlfriend
We wrap up People Licked By Andy Dick and Golfing Buddies' 20-Year-Old Daughters Whom James Woods Has Slept With Day on Defamer with a quick trip over to the MySpace profile of Ashley Myrick/Madison, the aspiring actress whose recurring role as Woods' disturbingly young girlfriend was eliminated after a regrettable display of poor graveside etiquette. (The part will be recast as soon as Woods can convince one of his pals to let him drop off his little princess for her first day at USC.) Madison's profile still claims that she's "In a Relationship," either indicating a desire to be on her own following the all-too-public break-up, or an unwillingness to let go of the good times she spent with Woods once California's repressive sexual consent statutes no longer kept the onetime soulmates apart. But don't be too heartbroken for our ex-lovers; in a town brimming with both actresses willing to overlook some wrinkles and a dependence on Viagra for a guy with a good agent and fiftysomething men more than happy to advance their careers in exchange for some affection, both of the star-crossed ex-lovers should find companionship soon enough. We're so optimistic about Woods' chances that we're willing to bet that the next time he goes on vacation with the Quaids, he won't be joking when he says, "Hey, Dennis! My girlfriend's young enough to be your 34-year-old wife's daughter! How do ya like them apples?"
UPDATE: Commenter jerseygirl points out that Madison has changed her profile picture to a photo including both her and Woods. She's also changed her profile motto to the ""The kid stays in the Picture"" [capitalization and double-quotes hers], perhaps hinting that the couple has reconciled—or that things have taken a turn for the much, much worse, and she's now dating beturtlenecked, septuagenarian producer Robert Evans, whose appetite for younger tail is legendary.
UPDATE 2: Mere minutes after we posted the above update, Madison's profile was deleted—perhaps to accomodate new mentor/paramour Robert Evans' paralyzing fear of the "bleeping, flashing, devil interweb box" that butler English insisted on installing in his office against his wishes.