This afternoon marked James Franco's return to daytime and it was not to be missed. Not because it was good—by any means—but because he played a bum with a toy monkey and a "will entertain for food" sign.

Actor-artist-writer James Franco has a solo art show! It opens June 23 at the Clocktower Gallery in New York. What will be in it? A "work explor[ing] a romantic encounter between "Star Trek" characters Spock and James T. Kirk."

James Franco's favorite things are soap operas, queer film roles, performance art, drag queens, and sleeping in class. He talks about his new project combining four of those five in this new interview from (where else?) L.A.'s Gay Pride festival.

Marina Abramovic's weeks-long performance art piece ends today. It raised important questions about the nature of art. They will probably never be answered. What's certain, though, is that an audience member made themselves vomit, and another stripped nude today.

After years of trying, Celine Dion is finally pregnant. Lindsay Lohan tries to hang with a better crowd. Miley Cyrus hates Glee. Madonna saves gay Malawians. Your Memorial Day Gossip Roundup is warming up the grill.

It's true. He did it. Or he will do it. Also today: a nerd documentary to end all nerd documentaries, Scream 4 will feature a vampire, a link to a picture, and a Peter Scolari joke.

Some say she was, others say she did herself in. What's the truth? Also today: James Franco heads to a comedy, a popular teen book from yesteryear becomes a movie, a new Daily Show?, and Ashton Kutcher.

A new study shows sleeping less than six hours a day makes you 12% likelier to die before age 65. Sleeping more than nine hours ups your chances of dying prematurely by 30%. Red Bull is now a life saver!

She knew they were related when he called himself P@t the R@t. Sienna and Jude are officially back together. Sandra's baby sells more magazines than Angelina's. Tuesday gossip is symbolic.

James Franco's a classy, handsome man with some serious acting chops. It's a good thing he still knows how to act like a jackass and poke fun at himself by making great videos like this. Rock on Franco, rock on.

You know James Franco is an actor. Maybe you know he is a subversive performance artist. But did you know he is a published fiction writer? Now he is! He just had his first short story published in Esquire.

Child Services storms Chateau Jackson when Jermaine's kid puts Blanket's life in peril. Megan Fox announces she's only slept with two men. Jolie and Franco are shoo-ins for based-on-a-true-story suicidal artist roles. Wednesday gossip is full of surprises.

• Elin Nordegren and Tiger Woods may remain married, after all. Tiger supposedly wants to keep the relationship together because he "wants to go back to being a golf star with major endorsements," and is hoping to convince people he's "a good family man." (Good luck with that.) As for Nordegren, she'd like to make the marriage work for the sake of their two kids and is willing to stick with Woods "even if she and Tiger live together as friends instead of lovers." This all sounds incredibly promising, doesn't it? [People, NYDN]
• Exciting news, Jersey Shore fans: MTV and the cast of the hit show are said to be close to ironing out their differences over pay, and the fist-pumping and fake tanning may return to the air as soon as this summer. [Variety]
• In other Shore news, someone is shopping around naked photos of Jenni "J-Woww" Farley despite the fact that there's very little of her body that we haven't already seen. And Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi thinks of herself as "too classy" to be seen in the vicinity of Jerry Springer. [Radar, P6]
• What's going on with Brad and Angelina? According to one report, the couple did meet meet with a lawyer last week, but it was to do a little estate planning and "protect their children and property in case there's a rift in the future," not because they're actually planning to divorce. Then again a source tells E! that Brad Pitt hasn't been showering much recently and smells "like a wandering homeless person," which probably doesn't bode well. [NYDN, People, E!]

• The first photos of Tiger Woods at Mississippi sex rehab facility he's been staying at have arrived. He's wearing a hoodie, baseball cap, and pair of shorts in the pics. And he has a not-so-happy expression on his face, which is probably how you'd respond, too, if you were in sex rehab and you walked out of your front door to find a National Enquirer photographer lying in wait. [NE]
• Will today be the day Conan finally settles with NBC? Quite possibly. [NYDN]
• Several of Lindsay Lohan's friends think she may be cutting herself (again) after she showed up at a pre-Golden Globes party with a fresh scar on her arm. In other LiLo news, she was spotted making out with a random French actor the other night, in case that news is of any interest you. [NYDN, TMZ]
• Are you ready to bid adieu to the charming cast of cable TV's classiest new reality show? Yes, the finale of Jersey Shore airs on MTV tomorrow night. But it will be followed by a one-hour reunion special and producers are already hard at work on prequel called "Before the Shore," so rest assured you'll be seeing plenty of the Shore crew in the months ahead. [NYP]
• Just in time for the new season of Real Housewives of New York City, Kelly Killoren Bensimon has agreed to appear in the March issue of Playboy. The 41-year-old mother of two will appear on the cover. But there will also be six-page "nude pictorial"—shot by Kelly's ex-husband Gilles Bensimon—inside the magazine as well, you'll undoubtedly be thrilled to hear. [Us, P6]

John Mayer: "The phone doesn't pick up because I'm masturbating." Heidi Montag: "If Cleopatra were alive now, I'm sure she'd have triple D's." Kelly Bensimon's Playboy shoot: "What sexy looks like at 41." Wednesday's gossip roundup is highly quotable.

So James Franco made his much anticipated cameo on 30 Rock last night. And not only was it weird as all hell, it may have harkened back to James Franco's dark, gossip-ridden past.

Or is it James Franco's General Hospital experiment? Either way, his arc for the past two months has kept stay-at-home moms and the unemployed entranced. But Franco's role is more than just a cameo—it's a conceptual art coup.

Currently, the White House is considering either Jan. 26th or Feb. 2nd for Obama's first State of the Union Address. Do you know anything else that is on Feb. 2nd? Yep: The 'Lost' premier. Obama is definitely a communist.

• It's still unclear what caused Brittany Murphy's death in Los Angeles yesterday morning. While the coroner has indicated the 32-year-old actress appears to have died from "natural causes," it's been reported that lots of prescription drug bottles were uncovered by cops at the scene, and some friends say they'd grown increasingly concerned that she was abusing painkillers. An autopsy is planned for today or tomorrow, but an official cause of death may take a couple of weeks, pending the results of toxicology tests. [NYP, TMZ, People, Sun]
• Murphy's death has put the spotlight on her husband, sketchy 39-year-old screenwriter Simon Monjack, who married Murphy in 2007. [NYDN]
• Tiger Woods set sail on his 155-foot yacht Privacy on Saturday accompanied by a bunch of friends. Where he's going is anybody's guess, although considering the boat has a range of 4,000 miles, it could be anywhere. As for his estranged wife, Elin Nordegren, now that she's retained a divorce lawyer, she's reportedly gearing up to ask for full custody of their two kids and half of his fortune, which has been estimated at $600 million. [NYP, People]