We don't know if James Franco is gay or not, but he certainly doesn't seem to care what the hell any of us think either way, so bless him for that. The latest tittering tidbit? An erotically-charged short film.

Remember last week when James Franco canceled his UCLA commencement address scheduled for this Friday so he could attend a kegger or something? Well, the school announced Franco's replacement today and it's, well, just plain awful.

Lots of casting news, yet again. James Franco keeps rolling along, as does Liam Neeson. Little Bryce Dallas Howard might be teaming up with her papa, while a bunch of grizzled old thespians are teaming up to teach architecture.

Noted sleep-deprived grad student/part-time thespian James Franco was scheduled to deliver the commencement address at UCLA next Friday (What, was Skeet Ulrich not available?), but he backed out today at the last minute, and now the Bruin Nation is weeping!

Victoria Beckham is turning 35 today. Jennifer Garner is turning 37. Actress Monet Mazur is 33. Liz Phair turns 42. The rapper Redman is turning 39. Architect Costas Kondylis is 69. Writer Cynthia Ozick is 81. Former football star Boomer Esiason is turning 47. Author Nick Hornby is 52. And television exec Henry Schleiff turns 61 today. Weekend birthdays after the jump.

Beyoncé leaving Bar Pitti yesterday after having lunch with Jay-Z ... Zoe Kravitz walking around ... James Franco studying at the library ... Minnie Driver shopping with her mom in Soho and later pushing son Henry in a stroller in the Village ... Russell Crowe walking around in sweats on the Upper West Side ... Jason Bateman carrying daughter Francesca around on his shoulders ... Kathleen Turner hailing a taxi in Midtown ... Agyness Deyn walking with a friend in the East Village ... Sean Penn filming scenes for his new movie, Fair Game ... Zac Efron leaving his hotel in Midtown ... Michelle Williams and Spike Jonze walking in the rain in Brooklyn with Matilda ... and Diane Kruger shopping in Soho.

A comedy gets a major cast, an HBO movie gets majorly political. A skater gets a reality show, as do many, many fashion people. Because they're so interesting! Everyone watches TV on the internet now, especially Lost.

Andrew Saffir's Cinema Society hosted a screening of The Mysteries of Pittsburgh last night at the Landmark Sunshine Theater. Guests at the screening included the film's stars Sienna Miller and Peter Sarsgaard (left), along with Maggie Gyllenhaal, Anna Wintour, Russell Simmons and Julie Henderson, Gilles Bensimon, Rachel Roy, Amy Sacco, Rachel Zoe, Beth Ostrosky, Olivia Palermo and Johannes Huebl, Jessica Joffe, Zoe Kravitz, Stefano Tonchi, Marina Rust Connor, Jennifer Creel, Richard Johnson and Sessa von Richchofen, Carlos Souza, Marcus Schenkenberg, Rosanna Scotto, Emma Roberts, Brittny Gastineau, Irina Pantaeva, Kiera Chaplin, Lisa Anastos, Jackie Astier, Kim Heirston, Nur Khan, Gilles Mendel, Bobby Kennedy III, Kelly Killoren Bensimon, Chris Diamantopoulos, and Olympic fencers Tim Morehouse and Jason Rogers. [PMc, Wireimage, VF, Paper, FWD]

You don't need him, ladies. [Wholphin]

James Franco is a busy fellow. He's sleeping his way through grad classes and filming more stoner movies. Is he perhaps too busy, too overstretched? Some recent news about the honey-dipped actor would suggest so.

Movie deals for funny men, a TV deal for a funny woman, AMC branches out, SAG and AFTRA become friends again, and The Simpsons make the mail.

• Lindsay Lohan is reportedly moving into a temporary "therapeutic environment" run by Stephen and Daniel Baldwin, where she can "go to work and meetings," and "remove the negative influences in her life." Sounds like the basis for a great sitcom, too. [Fox 411]
• Holly Peterson—socialite, daughter of billionaire Pete Peterson, and author of The Manny—is calling it quits with her husband of 15 years, Goldman Sachs exec Richard Kimball Jr. [P6]
• Whitney Port and actor Robert Buckley hooked up at a party in Miami and were later spotted "making out at Nobu." [P6, OK!, E!]
• Fashion editors: They're just like us! Vogue's Andre Leon Talley was spotted "chowing down on chimichangas at Chili's" at LAX on Tuesday night. [P6]

Foolish idealists have banded together and formed a Facebook group protesting the University's choice to have honey-dipped actor James Franco as their keynote graduation speaker. Because looking at that mug for 30 minutes is torture.

• Not such good news for Kanye West: He was charged with misdemeanor battery, grand theft and vandalism yesterday in connection with the fight he had with a bunch of photographers at LAX back in September. He could face up to 2 1/2 years in jail if convicted, although that's highly unlikely. And since they're not felony charges, he isn't expected to appear in court when he's arraigned on April 14. [NYDN, LAT, AP]
• Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are supposedly planning a massive—but totally top-secret!—second wedding, just in time for their one-year anniversary in April. But please don't tell anyone. [In Touch]
• James Franco is having a hard time moving around the Columbia University campus now that so many of his fans have figured out his class schedule. [P6]
• John Mayer's rep says he is not writing a tell-all book about Jennifer Aniston, despite what you may have read in Star. [MSNBC]

It's hard being a celebrity: James Franco is getting mobbed by fellow students at Columbia; presumably the coeds will never provoke from him the sort of battery Kanye West allegedly inflicted on his oglers.

Beyonce leaving the Pat Field store on Bowery ... Sarah Jessica Parker carrying a copy of the New Yorker while walking to the set of her new movie ... Claire Danes walking downtown with Hugh Dancy ... James Franco shooting scenes for a new movie in Long Island City ... Katie Holmes walking by herself downtown ... Gretchen Mol pushing her son in a stroller in the West Village ... Blake Lively carrying her dog Penny to her trailer on the set of Gossip Girl in Brooklyn ... Clive Owen crossing the street ... and Kim Kardashian and mom Kris Jenner leaving Nobu 57.

How does James Franco manage to take classes at both NYU and Columbia while penning a book while keeping his acting career going? Evidently only with lots of naps.

Permasmiley celebrity Columbia writing student James Franco is going to have a book of his short stories published by Scribner. This, strangely, is the least ridiculous book deal we've written about this week. [Fox]

• If you've noticed Jennifer Aniston's hair looking even more perfect and shiny lately, it's not your imagination. She reportedly spent $50,000 to have her hairstylist accompany her around the world for the Marley & Me's premieres. [DM, P6]
• Britney Spears kicked off her first tour in five years with a concert in New Orleans last night. The early reviews have not been positive, in case you're wondering. [People, DM, MTV]
• Did Chris Brown and Rihanna secretly tie the knot at Diddy's Miami manse? That's what Star is claiming, since Rihanna is "looking for the husband-and-two-kids deal before she turns 25." [Star]
• Breaking! Oprah has adopted a new puppy! [Us]
• Jennifer Lopez borrowed $50,000 worth of jewelry to attend an event last week, but never gave it back. [P6]

Newly implicit in the awards show gauntlet is the poison-picking question, "Joey Fatone or Lisa Rinna?" SAG nominee James Franco selected Fatone rather than his TV Guide Channel cohost. He chose unwisely.