Celebrity-Only Book Industry Comes Dangerously Close to Publishing 'Writer'

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Hamilton Nolan

03/05/09 10:42AM

Filed to: Celebrity science

Permasmiley celebrity Columbia writing student James Franco is going to have a book of his short stories published by Scribner. This, strangely, is the least ridiculous book deal we've written about this week. [Fox]

The following replies are approved. To see additional replies that are pending approval, click Show Pending. Warning: These may contain graphic material.

TheHonJudgeSmails Hamilton Nolan 03/05/09 10:48AM

I dunno. I think I prefer a bacon-encased sausage log to the abilities of James Franco.

JB TheHonJudgeSmails 03/05/09 10:56AM

@TheHonJudgeSmails: Woven bacon is true genius.

ptarmigan TheHonJudgeSmails 03/05/09 10:58AM

@TheHonJudgeSmails: I believe that Franco IS a bacon-encased sausage log.

Aaron Altman TheHonJudgeSmails 03/05/09 11:00AM

@TheHonJudgeSmails:

Taken at opening night for James Franco at the corner deli:

BookishLookish ptarmigan 03/05/09 11:06AM

@Ptarmigan: James Franco is a nice Jewish boy, he is most definitely not bacon-encased. He is kosher pastrami-encased and that's how we like him.

a boy and his dog Hamilton Nolan 03/05/09 11:04AM

I feel sorry for the writing professor who has to have someone with a book contract in her class. PROF: "This story needs work." STUDENT: "My editor is happy with it the way it is."

Mount_Prion a boy and his dog 03/05/09 11:09AM

@a boy and his dog: EDITOR: "This kid better have a big enough following to earn us back our advance on this crap."

DahlELama a boy and his dog 03/05/09 11:19AM

@a boy and his dog: Completely agree. This girl in my class in high school used to write all this weird, non-sensical crap, and our English teacher would totally call her on it when she read her stuff out loud. Now the girl has a book deal (actually, also with Scribner) and I can't help but think that she probably wants to call up that teacher and shove it in her face.

SuchAwfulPoetry DahlELama 03/05/09 11:27AM

@DahlELama: The only reason to write books is to shove it in the faces of your enemies!

Baby Cow Hamilton Nolan 03/05/09 11:27AM

what a prat.

yeah he's cute, but i get the sense he's the type of guy who would force-feed you his poetry and then mope when you didn't swoon over his brilliance.

SuchAwfulPoetry Baby Cow 03/05/09 11:29AM

@Baby Cow: How do you get that sense?

SuchAwfulPoetry SuchAwfulPoetry 03/05/09 11:48AM

@SuchAwfulPoetry: Oh nothing? Oh, okay. Cool.

valet_of_the_dolls SuchAwfulPoetry 03/05/09 12:06PM

@SuchAwfulPoetry: He can't be any worse than Ethan Hawke. Can he?

BookishLookish Baby Cow 03/05/09 12:17PM

@Baby Cow: That's what the ball gag was invented for, hon.

fuzzywhat Hamilton Nolan 03/05/09 10:49AM

Ugh, so dreamy...and who is that chick, STEP OFF, BITCH!

BookishLookish fuzzywhat 03/05/09 10:54AM

@fuzzywhat: Don't you just want to run your tongue over those teeth? That fucking witch is sniffing his neck! Back OFF!

everfade fuzzywhat 03/05/09 10:57AM

@fuzzywhat: @BookishLookish: He's laughing because he is gay and she has no power over him.

TheHonJudgeSmails everfade 03/05/09 10:59AM

@everfade: Well done.

Bob Wiley fuzzywhat 03/05/09 11:08AM

@fuzzywhat: Kind of looks like Michelle Tractenberg.