• Tiger Woods hasn't spoken to the cops or the media since he crashed his SUV into a tree outside his Florida home on Friday morning, although he did release a statement on his website yesterday. Did the crash take place as Tiger was running away from his enraged wife? Did Tiger really have an affair with club promoter (and 9/11 widow) Rachel Uchitel? That's all up in the air at the moment, although Uchitel has already hired spotlight-loving lawyer Gloria Allred to represent her, so you can expect this story to play on for weeks to come. [NYP, TMZ, TMZ]
• The fame-seeking classy couple who crashed the state dinner last week, Michaele and Tareq Salahi, are looking for a six-figure fee to tell their story, according to TV producers. A spokesman for the couple says that's totally false. Decide for yourself who you'd like to believe. [NYT, NYP, NYDN]
• Did Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal break up? A "close friend" of the actress says yes, but the couple is denying it. [People]
• Tinsley Mortimer may have a German prince for a boyfriend and she may be traipsing around town with Constantine Maroulis, but she's still got her ex-husband, Topper, wrapped around her finger. They reportedly talk three times a day and he's offered to appear on her reality show to help boost buzz. They may even get back together "for ratings," according to a source. [P6]

New photos suggest the White House party crashers were seasoned social climbers and chronic liars; Reese and Jake deny a break-up rumor; Tila Tequila's "energy secret" is not an illegal substance. Monday gossip, here we come.

Jennifer Aniston takes Morocco by....storm? She's dating (or not dating) a camel. Posh Spice has bunions. Jake Gyllenhaal is special. Courtney Love's greatest hookup ever. Thanksgiving Dinner at the Waverly Inn. LiLo being LiLo. Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:

We may not have anything left of our environment or economy by 2010, but at least we'll have something to keep us interested in the cinema. And the marketing machine is already starting. Check out the coming attractions!

Natalie Portman looking for a cab after having lunch at DGBG on Saturday ... Jake Gyllenhaal shopping with his dad in the East Village ... Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts pushing their kids in a stroller ... Gisele Bundchen walking to lunch in the Village, and later leaving at Whole Foods after doing some grocery shopping ... Anne Hathaway and Adam Shulman walking downtown ... Lindsay Lohan shopping ... Emmy Rossum talking on her phone in the meatpacking district ... Mary Louise Parker chatting with a man on East Houston ... Jessica Szohr shopping in SoHo ... and Hugh Jackman walking in the West Village with daughter Ava.

Macho men are not so in vogue these days. And, with some help from Oprah, the trend, once so prevalent in pop culture, may very well be dead. Or on its way, at least.

Josh Hartnett walking around the West Village ... Rihanna heading into Da Silvano in a super-sheer top ... Jake Gyllenhaal talking to Constantine Maroulis at the U.S. Open ... Mickey Rourke walking near Bryant Park with an unidentified female ... Brooke Shields walking her dog in SoHo ... Shia LaBeouf and Carey Mulligan riding a motorcycle for Wall Street 2 ... Becki Newton hailing a cab on Fifth Avenue ... Hugh Jackman hanging out with his kids downtown ... Rachel Bilson getting in an SUV outside her hotel ... Matthew Broderick walking son James to school ... Jude Law arriving at the Broadhurst Theatre ... Matt Damon shooting scenes for his new movie ... LaToya Jackson waving to photographers outside her hotel ... Kate Gosselin leaving her hotel ... and Madonna leaving dinner with Jesus Luz, and later attending a performance of "The Steady Rain" starring Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig.

Here is a still from the actor's upcoming film Prince of Persia, which is based on an old computer game. Not much to say here other than hey, here is a ridiculous thing. Reese, any comments? [via EW]

[A drunken Reese Witherspoon zooms away from the Hollywood Bowl with Jake Gyllenhaal, after seeing Jenny Lewis and Ray LaMontagne; image via Bauer-Griffin]

Farrah finally agrees to marry Ryan before she dies, FHM names Megan Fox the hottest woman in the universe, Paris Hilton finds a new animal to ride, Jake and Reese dress up alike and a Fox News divorce.

The peculiar story of literary lady Cantara Christopher and her relationship to famous father (and aspiring poet) Stephen Gyllenhaal continues. Last we left it, Christopher planned to tell all about her experience with Jake and Maggie's dad. She followed through!

Reese Witherspoon shopping with Jake Gyllenhaal at Marni on Mercer Street, and later leaving lunch at Bar Pitti ... Dave Matthews picking up breakfast from Peace and Love Cafe in Tribeca ... Will Ferrell watching a game at Yankees Stadium ... Nicole Kidman leaving her building downtown ... Jeff Goldblum and Rachel McAdams filming scenes for Morning Glory ... Whitney Port shopping with a friend downtown ... Djimon Hounsou walking by himself ... Denise Richards eating dessert at Fresco on East 52nd Street ... Robert Pattinson walking downtown with actor Tom Sturridge ... and Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez leaving 40/40 separately.

Maggie and Jake Gyllenhaal's dad wants Bernie Madoff released from jail.

• Following conflicting news reports, it now appears that Natasha Richardson was pronounced brain dead sometime yesterday following her skiing accident in Canada on Monday. She's now reported to be at Lenox Hill on the Upper East Side, where her family members have gathered to hold a vigil and say goodbye. [NYP, People, NYT]
• Rihanna and Chris Brown might be "taking a break," although neither one says it's a "formal breakup," whatever that means. [E!]
• Lindsay Lohan's driver crashed her SUV into a wall outside the Mondrian Hotel in Los Angeles at 3:30 am Tuesday morning. [E!]
• Graydon Carter has already started inviting friends to visit Monkey Bar, the restaurant he's opening on East 54th Street. [P6]
• Just what the world needs: Justin Timberlake recently returned from Mexico, where he's been working on launching his own brand of tequila. [P6]

Casting has been announced for the movie version of Damn Yankees, the baseball musical. Jake Gyllenhaal will sing! Also in casting news are Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg, a Woody Allen movie, and Gossip Girl.

Sometimes, life is kind enough to fill a need you didn't even know you had. Here, then, is a hip-hop video that stars Jake Gyllenhaal and Ron Howard for some reason. You're welcome!

• Bruce Wasserstein has been keeping busy. In between splitting up with his third wife and marrying his fourth, he found the time to have a baby with a recent Columbia Business School grad, with whom he's now sharing custody of a 10-month-old girl. [P6]
• The LAPD have launched an investigation into who leaked a confidential photo of a battered and bruised Rihanna to TMZ. [TMZ, E!]
• Whitney Port said this week that Olivia Palermo can be "very difficult to worth with," and that she occasionally wants to "slap her." Join the club. [AH]
• Madonna is reportedly planning to use the Vanity Fair Oscar party on Sunday to introduce Jesus Luz to the world as her new boyfriend. [OK!]
• Portia De Rossi is reportedly preparing to undergo IVF so she and Ellen DeGeneres can have a baby. [SFGate]

Jake Gyllenhaal returned to the drudgery of jury duty today, where he received none of the pampering he'd become accustomed to from Prince of Persia's small army of chest-hair stylists and grape-peeling P.A.s.

1/6 — I know he was just spotted there with Ms. Reese, but while I was sitting at the bar at Mozza at lunch time today I saw JAKE GYLLENHAAL walk in, at first I thought it was Reese standing next to him (there was a blonde head.. there was a bit of a crowd at the door..) but I cannot confirm that. I was too cool to turn my head fully around to scope out the table he sat at. About fifteen minutes later DEBI MAZAR walked in with a gentleman friend and asked loud enough for me to hear (not in an obnoxious way, I think she just has a loud voice...New Yorker loud...) "Is Nancy (Silverton) here today?" [Hollywood PrivacyWatch is written by and for Defamer readers; send your sightings to tips@defamer.com.]

Considering he's spent the last couple of days fending off accusations he's a slumlord, this probably won't be the most cheerful day for hotel/restaurant owner Eric Goode: He celebrates his 51st birthday today. Others born on the 19th of December: Jake Gyllenhaal is 28 today. Alyssa Milano is 36. Tyson Beckford turns 38. Lady Sovereign is turning 23. Criss Angel turns 41. And real estate developer Doug Durst is turning 64. Weekend birthdays after the jump.