Kanye West's giant penis did not put a baby in Kim. Kelsey Grammer will marry his mistress. Lil' Wayne's daughter gets diamonds for turning twelve. Demi Lovato hasn't apologized for punching her back-up dancer. Tuesday gossip is momentous.

It is proven science that the eight guidos involved in Jersey Shore, the most important sociological experiment of our time, are biological mutations. As they leave Miami for good, let's see how the natural world has turned against them.

The contractually obligated brawling came to an end last night with the season finale of Jersey Shore. The roommates found the strength to muster one last heated exchange before packing their bags and saying goodbye to Florida.

Dianna Agron would rather wear warpaint. Christina Aguilera's mysterious trip to the ER. Kanye West replaces his teeth with diamonds. Thursday gossip "just thought they were cooler."

Three months after its slutty debut, JWOWW's Filthy Couture has shuttered following a lawsuit from a similarly-named company. JWOWW took to Twitter today to announce she has a line launching this fall for everyone who can't live without lace bikinis.

Jersey Shore's Snooki and JWoww from appeared on Live Regis and Kelly to promote the show's season finale, but ended up genuinely mystifying Regis Philbin. Listen to the girls attempt to explain their actions to the senior citizen crowd inside.

The subjects of the most important sociological experiment of our time, Jersey Shore, finally breached the final frontier. When they got to Space, they got into a silly fight, set the world on fire, and were punished by their god.

Jersey Shore denizen and slutty dress designer JWOWW got paid a boatload of money to tussle with a Snook-alike on a Spike TV wrestling show. Here's a peek at tonight's episode. In two years, this will be her entire career.

Now that the creature known as Trash Bags has left Jersey Shore, the most important sociological experiment of our time, our tribe needs a new person to vilify. They choose The Situation, whose behavior reached an all-time low.

With Angelina gone, nary a punch was thrown on tonight's episode of Jersey Shore . But if you assumed that all of the drama would follow her out the door, you'd be wrong, thanks to Mike, the drunken club creep.

Like when Godzilla finally topples and his flame breath is extinguished, so has the creature known as Trash Bags been defeated on Jersey Shore, the greatest sociological experiment of our time. She will not be missed.

You'll never believe what happened on this week's Jersey Shore: People got drunk! People had promiscuous sex with exotic foreigners! Friends became enemies, and enemies stayed enemies! Is anyone keeping track anymore? Not Angelina, because she finally left!

In the world of Jersey Shore, the most important sociological experiment of our time, the men are praised for sleeping around but the women are demonized for it. The creature known as Trash Bags feels this sting the worst.

What do you do when you've been cooped up in a house on South Beach for a few weeks with nothing but endless booze and catty fights? You revert to college style antics and pranks, like tonight's Jersey Shore.

Screw JWOWW's slutty dresses: There's some wonderful new, unauthorized Jersey Shore-inspired attire now available. It's The Situation shirt that has a clear window for your, you know, situation. Abs not included. Don't worry, it comes in a tank-top too. [via]

Lindsay Lohan admits she failed a drug test; now she faces jail! Russell Brand placed under citizen's arrest for paparazzi beatdown. Did Elle whiten Gabourey Sidibe's face? Paris Hilton's plea deal. Saturday Gossip Roundup is not eating brunch.

Sometimes the eight guidos we follow on Jersey Shore, the most important sociological experiment of our time, find people to mate with. Sometimes they fail spectacularly. It seems we can learn even more when they strike out.

Extremely manic behavior was the name of the game during tonight's episode of Jersey Shore. The typical fights turned into a household Civil War before enemies became lovers and jumped into bed together. Who knew things could get this weird?

For the guidos of Jersey Shore, the most important sociological experiment of our time, the women stick with the women and the men stick with the men. That has changed as the ladies fight and claw with unrestrained viciousness.

It seemed like love was in the air on tonight's episode of the Jersey Shore. When the roommates weren't too busy screaming at each other over the "anonymous note," they were smooshing like champs... Until the fists started flying.