A guy in Nashville went to go see 30 Rock star Tracy Morgan perform a comedy show last weekend and Morgan said some wildly offensive things about gay people. The guy took to his Facebook wall in protest. Now the gays have mobilized!

Mike Huckabee, the nation is with you! Natalie Portman and her shameful ilk, that is to say unwed mothers, are approved of even less than gay parents these days, according to a new Pew study.

Apparently retirement communities are fertile breeding grounds for mean old bullies, if this article out of Arizona is to be believed. Cliques of seniors (nothing ever changes, huh?) are mercilessly shunning and taunting old people who aren't cool.

According to a Pew study, Americans are increasingly supportive of "gays" and "woman gays" serving in the United States military. They're also buckling like weaklings to the anti-family onslaught.

Author Jodi Picoult's raging about the New York Times ignoring her hokey movie-bait books continues. Why should the Times highlight her commercial fiction? "Think about Charles Dickens. Think about Shakespeare. They were popular authors. They were writing for the masses."

Forget Judge Walker and the Supreme Court or whatever. The final moral and imaginarily legal verdict on gay sex fiend weddings and Proposition 8 will be issued by an episode of the upcoming mistake, Law & Order: Los Angeles.

So NYC Prep—Bravo's "real-life Gossip Girl" series—starts tonight. I must admit, I'm embarrassingly, Facebook-statusing excited about it. But one thing is weighing heavily on me: How the hell am I going to talk about PC?

Yes the Oscars were pretty darn gay this year. With the singing and dancing and Milking. But why? Is the awards show finally retreating to the realm of niche programming? Or are gays mainstream now?

Cindy Adams, Page Six's also-ran aging gossipeuse, got scooped about ten years ago by the internet, but hasn't let it stop her or slow her. No, she's pressing on, writing columns about topics like the weather today and her insidious celebrity gambling problem. It's true! She has so many famous friends and so many dark impulses to throw her money down a well of anxiety and despair. And she's not betting on ponies. No, she's wagering on strange, ineffable things. Like home repair and Broadway musicals.

One night last week I found myself watching the NBC Nightly News—a rare occurrence, because I am not yet old. The lead story was about how American Airlines was going to start charging a $15 fee for each checked bag. Grumbling! Populist outrage! What will these dang companies do next?! It became clear at that early moment that despite the economic necessity of the move, American was going to get absolutely slammed in the court of public opinion. And now the verdict is in: they did!

Chimpanzee Sanctuary Northwest, a chimp-rights group, is assailing Sports Illustrated with a vicious letter-writing campaign! The group is upset that the magazine used a macaque (FANCY WORD FOR "MONKEY") and a bear in its photo shoot for this year's Swimsuit Issue [Folio]. S.I. is like, whoa! We take care of the animals, and besides, what mammal wouldn't be happy nestled up against the thighs of a swimsuit model? The two bear/ model-relations pictures, which have caused all the human outrage, after the jump. The bear does look kind of annoyed by that muzzle.

In the wee hours of this morning, Barnum & Bailey's Circus paraded their elephants into Manhattan, in what has become an annual tradition and spectacle. PETA is not too happy about this sort of thing. Is the circus really bad? On one hand, they're cruelly exploiting majestic mammals for the pitiful bemusement of humanity. On the other hand: elephants! Below, a clip of last year's NYC elephant march. Is there an easy answer to this one?

The hard part about writing News You Can Use isn't finding the solution; it's proving there's a problem to be solved. Consider today's Times, wherein dining reporter Julia Moskin has a nice Thanksgiving Eve article (accompanied online by a thrilling instructional video) about a new low-stress, expert-approved way to carve up your turkey. But is the old hack-and-slice regime really so problematic? Yes. "Before breakfast on Thanksgiving," begins Moskin's tale, "as the first Americans rise to preheat the oven, the question of who is going to carve the bird starts to ripple anxiously across the land." This being journalism (of sorts), the burden of proof requires at least some civilian testimony, which is where things take a decided turn toward the gothic.

The new Portfolio hits the racks today. Before we get to the actual magazine, you'll have to console yourself with gossip about Portfolio, most of it centered around EIC Joanne Lipman's recent firing of second-in-command Jim Impoco. The Observer and the Post, obviously suckling at the teat of different sources, bring you the different perspectives.