Just how rich is too rich? Allow this gentleman to demonstrate.

Irish lawmakers today voted overwhelmingly in support of a bill that would clearly allow abortions to save the mother's life, but only in those instances. The Texas GOP looked on with a great and furious envy.

Local police in Ireland's Kerry county will be allowed to permit some residents to drive drunk if a measure passed yesterday by county councilors is approved by the Department of Justice.

Several European supermarket chains have been forced to pull certain beef products off their shelves after they were found to contain tangible amounts of horse meat.

Someone was clearly attempting some sort of political statement by posting signs around Dublin, Ireland, "reminding" residents to celebrate "National Smack a Bum Day" on November 15th.

A 31-year-old woman admitted to a hospital in Galway, Ireland, late last month with severe back pain was revealed to be miscarrying, but doctors repeatedly refused to abort the fetus.

Daniel Radcliffe, The Boy Who Lived and Starred in the Harry Potter Movies, partied with some Irish Gaelic Football (soccer) players. And thanks to the miracle of Brit slang, we can say he "had a magical night on the piss."

"Hipster heaven" Electric Garden & Theater — "a brand new all round social space combining bar, restaurant, theatre, gallery & club" — is hoping to set itself apart from the rest of Galway's nightlife by promoting itself as being exactly the same.

Following the recent proliferation of zombie-related news stories, it appears America has now moved on to attacks by other fantastical characters.

Joe Biden, in character as always, made a terrible joke about lubrication yesterday at the White House reception for Irish prime minster Enda Kenny. It's not even funny in its un-funniness, really; it's just kind of... bad:

In case you forgot amid all the terrible news, today is St. Patrick's Day. Here's a photo of Kate Middleton passing out shamrocks to the Irish Guards. The ceremony dates back to 1901, and this is the first year Kate had the honor — previously, the Queen Mother was on shamrock duty. Of course, the most important part of this photo is that Kate is greeting the Guards' mascot, an adorable Irish Wolfhound named Cornmeal.

A hearty official Gawker congratulations to David James Glendon, Irish actor and winner of the first annual George Clooney lookalike contest, held at Dylan's Whiskey Bar in Kilkenny last week. (David's the one in the photo who looks like George Clooney.)

Today we learned that Ireland, and Tallfornia specifically, is getting its very own Jersey Shore. What luck, indeed. Thanks to the immortal words of one commenter, we have one episode that will remain preserved for eternity.

Faith and begorrah, my ancestors on the Emerald Isle have finally launched their own version of Jersey Shore and it is something else. It's the same bad behavior with a fraction of the budget and way more brogues. How can we get this in America?

Late-night talks between Illuminatis and Reptilians over Europe's debt crisis resulted in a "three-pronged deal" that will likely avert complete catastrophe: Banks will accept a 50 percent loss and raise more capital, while the eurozone will increase its bailout fund.

Our mom says that "anything's possible if you put your mind to it," and she's never wrong, so we're fairly certain that there is some way to transform human poop into gold. But mixing the poop with fertilizer and putting it on a heater is not that way, as Irish wannabe wizard Paul Moran recently discovered.

For some reason, Rihanna is filming a new video in a field in County Down, Northern Ireland. Or, she was, until the farmer who owns the field asked her to stop. "I wish no ill will against Rihanna and her friends. Perhaps they could acquaint themselves with a greater God," he told the BBC.

Is human spontaneous combustion a real thing? Damned if I know. But some coroner in Ireland has just ruled that a 76-year-old man who burned to death in his home died after catching on fire without external provocation, so according to that coroner, the answer is YES.

Oh, Ireland, the land of my forefathers, interoffice harassment, and women who die after having sex with dogs. The latest news is that the government will pay real money to learn how to stick fake jewels on lady's naughty bits.

After reading this weird news story, you will never have to read another weird news story ever again. It has everything: an insane premise, crazy people, crushing irony, sex, crime, and sex crime. It seems an Irish woman died after an allergic reaction to a dog—a dog she had sex with. Yes. Really.