This week, everyone made a lot of jokes about "goddamn phonies" and all that kind of stuff. Also: some journalists got in a bit of trouble with the law, and a guy gave us a giant phone, for elderly people.

Jim Behrle's kartoon kats present Apple's Newest Sentient Robot! It has no camera, but you can listen to Mos Def on a plane. Also: Hire a Kreepie Kat!

By all accounts, Steve Jobs personally drove the rapid creation and wildly successful hyping of the just-unveiled iPad. So you'd think his handlers would be confident in his healthy image, no matter how slowly he walks in public. (Update: Video.)

Web entrepreneur Jason Calacanis' prank claims about the Apple tablet yesterday were so over the top, we had to laugh. Until prestige media started reprinting them like they had merit, and our good humor turned to amazement.

President Obama delivered his State of the Union address last night, mere hours after Steve Jobs' momentously hyped unveiling of the Apple iPad. Obama's speech was praised for its delivery, while Jobs' presentation fell flat. Here's how to fix it.

Last night's Colbert Report was filled with topical jabs at new legislation allowing corporations to freely sponsor political figures, parties, and campaigns. Colbert jokingly pleaded for his own corporate gifts addressing the day's other major story: the iPad release.

Remember the publisher who leaked Steve Jobs' iPad secrets yesterday? His punishment has begun.

In this special iPad edition of Twitterati, the media elites obsessed grumpily over Steve Jobs' jeans, Steve Jobs' chair, Steve Jobs' pricing strategy and the technical ignorance of Steve Jobs' staff. The Twitterati knew that every tablet must get stoned.

• The iPad may be cool and all. But don't expect it to revolutionize newspapers. Or magazines. Or even book publishing. [AdAge, NYT, Reuters, NYT]
• The WSJ is getting ready to take on the Times. Three dozen staffers (and $15 mil.) will go into creating its new NYC edition, which debuts in April. [NYO]
• NBC and Conan O'Brien are back in business (sort of): The network is picking up a pilot from Conaco, O'Brien's production company. In less surprising news, Jay Leno says he hasn't spoken to Conan since the late-night drama unfolded; and Comcast's chief says he's behind NBC CEO Jeff Zucker (officially-speaking).
• ABC has decided to bring Ugly Betty to an end after this season. [LAT]
• MSNBC wasn't planning to air last Friday's Haiti telethon. But then Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow got involved and things changed. [NYO]
• Harvey and Bob Weinstein are looking to buy back the Miramax name. [DH]
• Louis Auchincloss, chronicler of WASP culture, is dead at 92. [NYT]

Every idiot on TV and the internet won't shut up about Steve Jobs' new thing you need to spend $800 on (though we'll take a free one if anyone's offering!), which means its a great day to release inconvenient news.

Every D of the W, we stop to look at good comments. Today we are so mesmerized by the fancy new iPad that we can't focus on anything else. So here are our favorite Pad-related comments of the day.

Think back an hour or so to the iPad unveil. Jobs is on stage. He reveals his tablet, and then the price, $499, to rabid applause from everyone. Everyone, that is, except people who knew better.

Today at Gawker.TV, MADtv saw into the future of the Apple iPad (which some CNBC anchors find distasteful), Meredith Vieira surprises Martha Stewart with stripper pole footage, a sneak peek at The Ricky Gervais Show, and the season finale of Teen Mom.

No doubt, Steve Jobs showed off a compelling tablet computer today, one that should excite people who make videogames, TV shows — even books. But today's Apple iPad debut was a big letdown for magazine and newspaper people.

ABC News reports that John and Elizabeth Edwards are "legally separated." Not divorced, yet. FYI. Also omg a big ol' iPhone! What a weird time to announce your separation from your wife—who will even notice?

Steve Jobs has unveiled the iPad. Apparently, we were right about the name. Much more over on the Gizmodo liveblog and their post summarizing everything they've learned so far about the Apple iPad.

One of the great modern pastimes — speculating and rumormongering about the Apple Tablet — will come to an end today when Steve Jobs finally unveils his messiah device. It's a game few are ready to stop playing.

Supposedly speaking about the supposedly forthcoming Apple Tablet iPad, Steve Jobs was supposedly overheard saying: "This will be the most important thing I've ever done." Unless it makes snacks or transports people to booty calls, almost, but not quite. [TechCrunch]