Facebook is the new Google, but not in the way Mark Zuckerberg wished. The 23-year-old founder is facing the same press backlash as his predecessors at the search company. His recent 60 Minutes interview ignored several pressing questions, and most of the show's 12-minute segment (available on CBS News Video) simply explained Facebook for old people and rehashed the usual "baby CEO" profile. But in the clip below from the end of the segment, Lesley Stahl criticizes Zuckerberg for launching Beacon, Facebook's stalkery program that tracks what users do on outside web sites unless they notice and opt out.

Is awkward-teen-pic-posting a way to appear less narcissistic than you really are? Even though curly-headed divorcebloggist-turned-chicklit-er Stephanie Klein's website is chock-full of pics chronicling herself and friends looking alternately happy, drunky, or contemplative, she wants you to know that she's still real, just like us. And she used to look weird! Is this the blog-version of the "I used to be a nerd in highschool" line that celebs are always proclaiming? [Greek Tragedy]

This YouTube site, it could be big! Pew Research says YouTube's grown 18% since the writers' strike began, and the BBC says that means people are looking to the web to fill the video void, a story bloggers predicted last fall. The New York Post claims the same. Wrong: YouTube's growth isn't much faster than usual; the site has enjoyed accelerating growth since it launched in 2005. In fact, it might have dropped off in January. Video sites Break.com and Veoh remain flat by comparison, and MySpace video hasn't grown enough to have much effect on the site as a whole. Maybe it's because web video resembles the still-running reality shows more than the scripted shows that suffer from the strike. But the growth of YouTube has nothing to do with the aborted TV season.

Intern Memo advises this year's crop of interns to weigh their housing options carefully: "You don't want to be in a situation where you're getting gauged (sic) on some horrible apartment." Especially the so-called "dangerous and scary" areas near Los Angeles' University of Southern California, where blacks sometimes live. [Intern Memo]

Rule #1 of online video: Make it shorter dammit. Which makes this .01-second video the best YouTube clip ever. It's a stunt by Charles Trippy, an attention addict (he proposed to his girlfriend on a hot air balloon and filmed it) and one of YouTube's most-watched creators. Like the million-dollar homepage or "Hot or Not," the idea of "The Shortest Video Ever on YouTube" is so stupidly simple that by the time you wish you hadn't clicked it, it's already over. Click through for your own moment of impotent regret.

William Krasnansky, 51, is currently divorcing his wife of ten years. He's also "posted what he calls a fictionalized account of the marriage on his blog." What that means is that he's posted excerpts from a terrible "novel" about how his wife is basically a bitch on his livejournal. His livejournal about his adorable pugs. Now a judge has ordered him to stop blogging about his terrible wife, and it could become a major free speech case. A major free speech case about a livejournal called "Look at my Pugs." Krasnansky's post responding to the judge's order—in adorable cartoon letters with backwards letter 's's, as if written by a pug—may be found after the jump.

Mike Huckabee proved he was the official candidate of tired internet memes with his viral ad featuring the real Chuck Norris and those hilarious "Chuck Norris facts" you smirked at a couple years back. While the real campaign has not yet featured a "DUNCAN HUNTER ATE MY BALLS" attack site, one intrepid sketch comedy group has imagined a future in which it might. Because what the nation needs now is a president who's not afraid to dance with Ellen to "Smell Yo Dick."

Beyond its obvious benefit to gamers, videographers, and other hobbyists, the Internet has enabled certain obscure non-media communities to flourish. Speedcubers, for example. Rapid Rubik's Cube solvers were rare for the last couple of decades, but the Internet brought a recent rush of enthusiasts. As Google engineer and speedcuber Lars Petrus explained in the documentary "Piece by Piece," a Rubik's cube fanatic is probably the only one in their city. Without the net, there's no way to find other fans. Now teens are catching on, thanks to online lessons, tips and solutions ("What's the trick?" asks another solver in "Piece by Piece." "Years of painstaking work") such as Petrus's site and the video below.

The press's shaky grasp on Facebook usually manifests itself in opinions: "It's the new Google" (it's not), "it doesn't have the ad-clog and spam problems that plague MySpace (it does). But this time the French press got the entire story wrong. When the 28-year-old French man unaffiliated with Facebook claimed to be the company's new president in France, the country's press, including L'express and Le Parisien (which later front-paged a retraction), ran with it. Techcrunch.com has the long version, I've got the short version.

Meet one of the few YouTube performers who deserves a TV show. "Daxflame" plays a spastic grade-schooler named Bernice Juach, who tells stories about his life (such as when he bought a car on eBay with his mom's credit car and failed to convince her he thought it was a Hot Wheel). My source at YouTube says he's an actor, though the only press he's gotten stresses that no one knows if he's real. And that's why the kid (who's also appeared with the mediocre but dominant YouTube comedy group Smosh) is so good. Below he shares his plan to save the world and shares five facts about himself (1. He wants to be stuffed when he dies).

Those of us who haven't already learned how to mind-meld have given up on Facebook (founded by Harvard dropout Mark Zuckerberg, seen here grinning at a pile of money) for the same reason we left MySpace: It's all just ads, friend requests from people we don't know (and people we kind of know but wanted to continue not acknowledging at parties), and something about zombies. Even the logorrheic Twitter users who text minutiae to all their friends are now tuning out, and no one wants to go back to blogging (except using the newish Tumblr platform, which they'll tire of this summer). There are only three options left for dealing with social networks.

Took me half a minute to realize this wasn't a legit Burger King ad. "Whopper Freakout, Ghetto Version" parodies the chain's "viral" ads, wherein they pulled the Whopper at one location for a day and taped people's reactions. In the version below, one customer says, "I hear you motherfuckers put worms in your burgers; I dunno if that's true but that shit is good." Chances are that's not the message Burger King wants spread, but some smartass in marketing must be high-fiving himself. Burger King has played with ironic advertising (the scary ads with The King, for example, and the classic subservient chicken microsite) enough to expect and appreciate this kind of parody. That sets them apart from General Motors, whose make-your-own-ad program inspired people to mock the gas-guzzling Chevy Tahoe. Amateurish, easily parodied virals are only for brands that can tolerate someone spitting in their burger.

Thanks to the web, you can now condescend to the elderly from the comfort of your own home. The novelty factor of seeing this demographic in a video online has apparently not faded, as they continue to earn instant viewers just by looking their age. Ironically, the videos are mostly superior to teenage-made crap because of their PBS feel and extensive vocab. Here's a quick gallery of the best elderly video-makers; they got attention just for showing up, but they outperformed expectations.

We've all heard about "2 girls 1 cup," and a shocking amount of us have actually watched it. But for those who want to preserve their dignity while still pretending they watched this filth, here are spoilers for the Internet's top gross-outs. Under no circumstances do I recommend you actually view these videos, no matter how many other people do.

Wikipedia writers have a sense of humor! Sort of. A few users are posting stickers that read "citation needed" — a footnote attached to dubious claims on the collaborative encyclopedia — on real-world ads. It's a more flexible joke than putting "Hammertime" stickers on stop signs. It's also less funny than Stephen Colbert getting banned from the site, but cut the nerds some slack. If we learned anything from LOLcats, it's that nerd humor becomes mainstream humor.

For The Win. Often used in forums, IRC chats, and online games, "FTW" denotes a coup de grace or highlight. For example, "Headshot FTW" or "Power steering FTW." When noting the best moment in a video, "12:40 FTW" means fast-forward to that moment. The usage might come from Hollywood Squares, where contestants said "Top square for the win." While not as popular as WTF or LOL, FTW is gaining traction among bloggers.

Wednesday readers were shocked — shocked — to see Julia Allison talk about her life on the very site that through lurid coverage had transformed the columnist-pundit from someone no one knows about to someone Gawker readers know about. She's our symbol of the loathsome self-promoter, apparently because no one in New York realizes that her exhibitionist habits are perfectly normal.

Just a tip for those who wonder what Digg is like. The most popular item on the social news site is a mockup of the site itself, which sums up the opinions of the users. (Digg users vote up news items; a vote is supposed to mean "this is interesting" but really means "I agree.") For injokes, click through.

YouTube's only watchable dude-at-a-desk show is What the Buck, a daily on celeb gossip. In the latest episode, catty host Michael Buckley here thanks Satan for providing dirty photos of Hannah "underage in every state" Montana.

Commenters on the internet are all tools. But there's a hierarchy of negative commenters: Gawker commenters are literate bastards, nerds on Digg are less eloquent but still native speakers, and YouTube commenters never make it past "You suck!!!11one". This video explores the mind of the lowest form of commenter filth with surprising vigor.