Hi! I'm Nick Douglas, Gawker's foreign correspondent from the Internet. Basically, if I'd been here earlier, you'd have known about LOLcats before your receptionist did. Let's start with something easy: a YouTube video called "Pregnant Jamie Lynn Speaks Out." It's got over a million views, it's by a sketch comedy group called Good Neighbor, and it's basically a little kid playing Jamie for a fake TMZ interview.

Miracle on Bedford Ave [MySpace]

"Funny or Die", the funny web video site that has Will Ferrell and Adam McKay but no traffic or "buzz", got another $15 million from their venture capital benefactors at Sequoia (and unnamed others). There are still absolutely no reports of anyone on the internet having watched any video from that site besides the one where the little girl is mean to Will Ferrell. [PaidContent]

The Chicago Reader cut more costs last week by firing four of its most experienced journalists. "Thousands of bloggers could type for a millennium and not come up with the kind of deeply reported story that freed innocent men," writes New York Times media columnist David Carr of the work of those fired. A millennium is a long time but that is probably totally true! But what's more: Does firing real journalists actually cut costs? A look at any newspaper's most popular stories suggests the most obvious thing of all: That reporting actually makes money for newspapers.

In the Times Style section's ongoing exploration of "what's inside the Internets," Noam Cohen examines Twitter, a " relatively new program that allows its mostly young members to post 'miniblogs'—running diaries about the mundane details of their lives, in entries of barely two sentences." Sometimes those mundane details include, "Alright this is it. Parked my car. I wish everyone who ever was nice to me well. See you in the next life." He doesn't follow through but still sad. But most times it includes this, from the same suicidal user, Nick Starr: "planning a Ramen noodle lunch after church" and "At church. Be back in about 2 hours twitter" and also "how did u get IKEA furniture in Florida?"

So Nerve—which used to be a sleek sexy magazine, and then split off a company that ran personal ads, and is also a place that gets snippy every time we mention them, by the way—is now all about the fetus and the newly post-fetal. It began with their new site Babble, "the magazine and community for the new urban parent," which I'm sure would make my mom, the old urban parent, stab someone if she saw it. But now it seems there's money in them thar baby bumps! Their celebrity baby blog FameCrawler is up and live. Nerve: They are New York. They went from screwing to breeding but like totally kept that edgy 'tude. Just like Amy Sohn! Also Drool.icio.us is their blog for "the top million baby products," if you were in need of a $390 crib in environmentally-safe fabrics or whatever. Not a good site for bitter childless fags to visit, apparently. For them, I hear, it can be a real downer.

Perhaps realizing that the impromptu, beer-soaked promotional appearance he made on behalf of Live Free or DieHard at halftime of a recent Nets playoff game might not reach as many hardcore film nerds as he'd like, onetime wisecracking animated critter and resurgent action star Bruce Willis has taken to the Talkback boards at Ain't It Cool to get the word out about his comeback vehicle, which he swears will contain all the brain-splattering, hard-R violence his fans crave despite a PG-13 rating that limits him to a mere two "fucks." Here, Willis dramatically outs himself as suspiciously defensive poster "Walter B":

You know what's becoming increasingly clear? The internet is going to put the psychotherapy industry out of business. While most civilians will have to rely on therapist-bot Eliza, if you're a celebrity—or a person with a blog, which is sort of the same thing!—you can always depend on the kindness, and unkindness, of strangers. Here are those strangers' hot tips for the most embattled actor of this week.

We're pleased to announce that Rod Townsend is the new proprietor of LOLgay.com, your #1 site for LOLgays in your internets. He'll be quitting his day job any moment now. He could surely use your able captioning assistance and general LOLing. Go on!

Even though 22-year-old David Evans has been cleared of all charges in the Duke rape case, he's still haunted by the repercussions of the accusation that he and two other lacrosse players sexually assaulted a stripper. His lawyer Joe Cheshire shared one of the indignities he's suffered with Larry King last night.

I forgot one detail when reporting on the brilliantly researched Washington Post story, "MySpace Is So Last Year" (subtitle: "Please read our paper please"). The Post uses the following quote as its story-ending clincher: