The most prolific eater of our time, Takeru Kobayashi, owns the world records for eating hot dogs, hamburgers and meat balls. But last night in Brooklyn he failed in his attempt to be the world's greatest pizza eater. What happened?

Four-time Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest champ Joey "Jaws" Chestnut is the new record holder for burrito eating, after winning the Garcia's World Burrito Eating Championship in New Mexico yesterday by inhaling 47 beef and bean burritos in 10 minutes.

It wouldn't be summer without hot dogs and bologna sandwiches, right? Well, you might want to think twice before eating processed meats, because the nitrites and nitrates used to preserve, color and flavor them could cause bladder cancer.

[Mayor Mike Bloomberg shares a traditional New York hot dog with British Prime Minister David Cameron outside of Penn Station this afternoon. We'll leave the easy jokes on this one to you all. Image via Getty]

"I'm really hungry. I wanted to eat hot dogs." Former hot dog eating champ Takeru Kobayashi after being released from jail today.

Takeru Kobayashi's reign as the world's most celebrated eater of hot dogs has ended. "The Tsunami" lost his world record three years ago, and now he has purposefully undermined his competitive eating contract negotiations. An excuse to eat no more?

CNN is reporting that an old hot dog was unearthed, encased in ice, underneath historic Brooklyn hot doggery Feltman's. Also reported: this dog is 140 years old. We're not science bloggers here—but that shit is impossible. We investigate!

"About 17% of [child] food-related asphyxiations are caused by hot dogs," say pediatricians, who add that wieners are ruthless child-killing machines, "the perfect plug for a child's airway." They demand an immediate redesign for the meaty assassins. [USA Today]

The Way We Live Now: Doggedly. Are hot dogs the solution to our nation's unemployed ex-con crisis? No, not at all. But it's a thought. Similarly, happy ads won't restore our rotten financial institutions. But they'll make you $$$mile!!!

Why yes, last week's Law & Order was the episode loosely based on the case of America's sweetheart, the Hipster Grifter. Damned if they didn't work in a hot dog reference.

• The hot dog vendor in front of the Metropolitan Museum has been given the boot. Why, you ask? Shockingly, it seems he's been having some trouble coming up with the $53,558 he has to pay the city in rent each month. [NYDN]
• A roundup of restaurants that just opened, or will be open this week. [TONY]
• Frederick's Downtown closed last week; now Frederick Lesort's Eurotrashy Madison Avenue location has suffered the same fate, alas. [Eater]
• A former assistant to Tavern on the Green owner Jennifer LeRoy claims she was fired from the restaurant after she revealed she was pregnant. [NYP]
• The Wicked Wolf on First Avenue is closing to make way for a second 2nd Avenue Deli, which, once again, won't be on Second Ave. [Eater]
• Want to start your own food truck? It's not as easy as it looks. [GS]
• A few months ago, Gordon Ramsay's food empire was teetering on the brink of bankruptcy; now he reports he's in expansion mode once again. [WSJ]
• The favorite burger chain of leading chefs? In-N-Out, by a landslide. [GS]

Hipster Grifter Kari Ferrell sounds really clever until you notice she just re-used a few key lines over and over, via email. Uh, outrage! New email evidence concerns her imaginary beard-based coffee table book:

Having no money: it may cause stress! Insightful insights like this from scientific experts are just one of the recession's silver linings. (Linings now made of lower-cost aluminum).

Barack Obama visited a famous Washington hot dog restaurant this weekend, thrilling the good people at the National Hot Dog & Sausage Council.

Guess the commercial real estate market hasn't cratered completely. The city's Parks Department has sold the vending rights for the north-side entrance of the Metropolitan Museum of Art at Fifth Avenue and 82nd Street for $362,201. [NYP via Curbed]

♦ A look at the restaurants inside JetBlue's new terminal at JFK. [Eater]
♦ Masaharu Morimoto explains why why Wagyu beef is so special. [GS]
♦ Photos of Archipelago, the new Japanese-French restaurant by Hisanobu scheduled to open on Monday. [GS]
♦ Don't get too excited about a Sam Talbot restaurant in Chelsea just yet. [Eater]
♦ A sneak peak at the Trader Joe's in Brooklyn. [Urbanite]
♦ Hearst and MSN launched new food site today called Delish.com. [PRN]
♦ Martha Stewart's staff tasted the 14 best hot dogs they could get their hands on. Nine of them hailed from New York. [Martha Stewart]

A hungry photographer gazed longingly at Tori Spelling's hot dogs at an appearance at the Hollywood landmark, Pink's. The appearance was to promote the second season of Spelling's reality series, yet the photographer's attention was primarily focused on the two uneaten hot dogs mocking him from Spelling's tray. Naturally, it was assumed that the photographer was staring at Spelling's cleavage, but the photographer defended his care bear stare by stating he got up too late for breakfast and those dogs were beginning to look like a steak from Ruth's Chris. Spelling explained that she wouldn't be able to share any of her dogs since she was eating for two and that, if he truly was that hungry, he should just wait in line like everybody else.

Here's the menu for lunch at the New York Times cafeteria today. The theme? "Take Me Out To The Ball Game!" Which means hot dogs. Only hot dogs. They represent our nation. Or, as the Times puts it, "Hot Dogs As America." We don't really know what that means. Click to enlarge the menu!

Remember that weird store under construction for a while on St. Mark's that, we really wanted to believe, would only sell over-sized papier maché dog sculptures? Remember that sense of wonder and hope we had that perhaps, just perhaps, St. Mark's would pull itself out of its debased noodle shop and belly-button piercing morass and into the realm of Koonsian grandeur? Well, catch those hopes in butterfly nets and stow them in Bell jars for a rainy day.