At midnight last night, the WGA's contract with the studios expired. The good news: Hollywood has not yet been blanketed in the radioactive fallout from the settling of a city-spanning mushroom cloud. The bad news: Yesterday's negotiations did not end well. The dueling, end-of-day statements of the WGA and AMPTP kick off this morning's round-up of strike-related news:
Of the countless doomsday scenarios we've pondered since the kickoff of the StrikeWatch season, perhaps none has been more upsetting than the one suggested by the above Fox e-Alert that just landed in our inbox: a primetime TV schedule where's there's nothing to watch but Regis Philbin and Clay Aiken furrowing their brows in frustration at grade-school geometry lessons long forgotten, determined not to hear a smug Jeff Foxworthy ask, "So, since it's obvious that being famous has made you retarded, why don't you ask little Bobby over here how many sides a rhombus has?"
With not much else left to do but wait for news on the upshot of today's final bargaining session before the strike-enabling midnight expiration of the WGA's contract with the studios, at least one of the concerned Companies has decided that it's time to give its employees some easy-to-follow tips on what to do if they find themselves surrounded by a phalanx of red-shirted picketers when they arrive at work over the next few days. Thankfully, Warner Bros. heads Barry Meyer and Alan Horn urge—at least for now—a patient and nonconfrontational approach to dealing with potential strikers, realizing that the unwanted interference of their civilian workers could undermine their security personnel's attempts to disburse any traffic-impeding Guild protestors with the trusty combination of fire-hose-soakings, rubber bullet strafings, and tear gas clouds that effectively disburse even the most resolute of union members. A pair of WB memos detailing their strike instructions follow:
· In other strike-related news, post-production houses prepare for the hit they'd take during a work stoppage, while indie film companies could see "the labor mess as a potential silver lining." [Variety, Variety]
· IggyGate provided The Ellen DeGeneres Show with a nice ratings boost, leading producers to plan a monthly stunt in which Ellen generously gives away one of her recently rescued pets to a young audience member, only to suffer an emotional breakdown as the gift is immediately ripped from the arms of the bawling child by adoption agency shock troops. [THR]
The big day that everyone in Hollywood has been anticipating with a mixture of dread, fear and, well, a deeper kind of dread that chills to the very bone is finally here. At midnight tonight, the Writers Guild's contract with the studios expires, a development that could quickly lead to the potentially catastrophic strike that's been looming™ since the moment the expiring deal was signed. So where do things stand on Grab Your Ankles And Pray It Won't Hurt Too Much Day? A round-up:
Did you somehow arrive to work too late this morning to be handed your very own copy of the WGA Negotiations Update literature being handed out by the union's friendly, red-shirted flyer-distribution team at the entrances to every studio lot in town, or just generally feel left out of all the pre-contract-expiration fun?
· Universal and New Line join the list of those who strenuously object to the WGA's strike rules, warning writers in their employ that complying with their union's demands to validate the scripts they're trying to turn in before tomorrow's deadline will put them in breach of contract. [Variety]
· Writers and studio executives alike have caught Script-Flipping Fever! Unfortunately, any camaraderie the two sides may now feel as they rush to finish shootable screenplays together could be slightly undermined if they're forced to start trying to kill each other on Thursday morning. [THR]
· Warner Bros. wants to deepen its already very fulfilling relationship with model/host/producer/investigative reporter Tyra Banks, signing her to a multiyear deal in which Banks' production company will do everything for the Warner corporate family short of emptying their trash cans at the end of the day. [Variety]
As we've been reminded by a number of commenters and e-mailers this morning, referring to the members of the WGA's swarming strike-prevention team as "redshirts" (incidentally, a name many of the flyer distributors have given themselves ) creates an immediate and unfortunate association with the disposable Star Trek day-players whose uniform color invariably marked them for death. The application of this doom-connoting term seems a little premature at this time, as the presence of the Teamsters who might be soon joining the nameless ensigns on the picket line will probably make studio personnel think twice about trying to vaporize any of the crimson-appareled speed-bumps who block their path to work with the grills of their SUVs, allowing the nameless union ensigns to survive past the strike's dangerous first act.
Following yesterday afternoon's announcement that the Teamsters will honor WGA picket lines during a possible strike—even though the organization can't walk out while they still have a contract with the studios, individuals can make the decision not to cross the writers' line without being disciplined—a work stoppage suddenly seems (dare we allow ourselves to even say it?) less of an inevitability, as the possibility of Teamster muscle backing up the scribes is certainly more intimidating than the presence of the skinny-armed reinforcements the union called upon the last time they needed some back-up. Additionally, a tipster tells us that the Guild already had about 15 members of its red-shirted army stationed outside of the Sony lot at 7 AM (do let us know where else you spot them), handing out "Negotiation Update" flyers urging workers to, "Please encourage the companies to bargain seriously with the Writers Guild, and let the writers on your show know you support their fair and reasonable stand."
While we'd hoped that the foreboding appearance of Alex Perez, Scab Horseman of the Coming Hollywood Apocalypse would instill enough fear in the warring writer and studio factions to nudge them closer to a new deal, it seems that even the repeated viewing of Perez's soul-chilling Dialogue Sample Promo #1 has done little to stanch the flow of bellicose words from frustrated negotiators.
As the Hollywood StrikeWatch Doomsday Clock ticks louder (incidentally, we're still working on a prototype that can run in our sidebar and emit a blood-curdling scream every hour on the hour) with each second counted off until the midnight Wednesday expiration of the Writers Guild's contract with the studios, each new instance of pre-walkout saber-rattling takes on an increasing, bowel-loosening poignancy. Hoping to get in a couple of shots at WGA leadership before negotiations resume tomorrow, Alliance of Motion Picture & Television Producers president Nick "Why Won't These Greedy Fiends Listen To Reason?" Counter chatted with TV Week about his organization's frustration with the union's bargaining strategy:
· OMGOMG. The strike's, like, totally going to happen. Did you hear about the chair thing?? [Variety]
· John Travolta returns to the action-movie realm as the lead subway-hijacking baddie in The Taking of Pelham 123, a role director Tony Scott "heavily courted" the actor for, and which he took only on the condition that the character meet his wasp-waisted body-type specifications. [Variety]
We now bring you another dispatch from the front lines of Hollywood Strikewatch, the ugly showbiz labor dispute making such little headway, at times we simply want to throw up our arms and curse the day God ever gifted us with things like language and producers. For the time-pressed, Deadline Hollywood Daily digests the latest developments into a resounding "not pretty." (Well—not pretty to most of us; scab superstar Alex Perez is sitting prettier by the minute. And we hear he's single!) But if you have a moment, you may want to read their discouraging account of an argument over seating:
We've forgotten in which direction we were supposed to be spun by the last WGA contract negotiation update, but the AMPTP is again taking a turn at trying to convince the world that all they want is peace, love, and happiness. (And maybe to trick writers into one tiny little concession that seems harmless enough now, but which will haunt the union for all time.) Following today's session, they've announced that they've made a Comprehensive Proposal that "lays the groundwork and provides a framework for an agreement." Also: "The goal is to reach an agreement by Oct. 31." Sounds good enough to us! Team Producers! The strike is off! [Variety]
"ghost writer Very busy executive would like to hire a writer to send emails on his behalf on personal dating websites. And do a few enails back and forth to get the ball rolling.. This person needs to know how to write in a masculine, but romantic way and at the same time create a challenge for the reader of the email" [Craigslist via And I Am Not Lying]
Just a few minutes ago, WGA West president Fightin' Patric Verrone sent out an e-mail blast in response to today's Variety story about the Guild's alleged plan to give up on its reality organizing efforts, ripping the publication for splashing "baseless assertions" and "opinions" about their strategy all over its front page, and reassuring the exploited that it will picket as many shitty game shows as it takes to get them into the WGA family.
Earlier today, we were introduced to Alex "Writer-For-Hire" Perez, the affordable, amazingly versatile scab extraordinaire who may very soon find himself with all the strike-violating work he can handle if the WGA's membership takes to whatever's left of the charred streets of Los Angeles around November 1st. Today's LAT runs down some of the projects that could be touched by the pinch-hitting scribe's genius should harried Guild writers scrambling to meet their deadlines fail to turn in drafts the studios can quickly convert into the substandard product they'll slap up on multiplex screens while strikers burn through their bank accounts:
Perhaps realizing that local supermodel hopefuls like the ones who've previously supplemented the WGA's organizing efforts will be far too busy taking jobs on the 25 model-search-related shows the networks will rush into production in the event of a writers' strike to once again work the picket line, the Guild will no longer pursue jurisdiction over reality TV programming when negotiations resume on Thursday, according to a report in Variety. Emboldened by this concession, the studios will attempt to shake the Guild's resolve by unveiling a PowerPoint presentation demonstrating the ready availability of cheap, nonunion labor they can employ during a walkout, centered around the video samples posted to the promotional website of their first post-strike hire, Alex Perez:
Just in case you need a little extra help soiling up the pants on your writers' strike costume, here's the best of the public communication resulting from yesterday's "bargaining" session. From the WGA: "We have no intention of discussing the producers' rollback proposals. Not now, not ever. The producers asked to take Tuesday off to caucus." And says the Alliance: "Don't confuse process with progress. While we actually met today for the first time in 5 days, the WGA leadership again failed to address the producer's proposals. The WGA leadership dismissed the withdrawal of the producer's recoupment proposal as insignificant despite their claim that this was a major impediment to reaching an agreement. The WGA leadership has yet to make any movement on its own or the producer's proposals." Happy Tuesday! [WGA.org, AMPTP.org]
For those uninspired by our previous Halloween costume suggestions (honestly, we didn't really expect you to go around terrifying children in a Teri Hatcher mask), a thread developing on MetaFilter since yesterday could provide you with a more abstract, but no less timely, alternative that will make you the envy of every terrified, sporadically scribe writer at your local Halloween party:
