This image was lost some time after publication.


Of the countless doomsday scenarios we've pondered since the kickoff of the StrikeWatch season, perhaps none has been more upsetting than the one suggested by the above Fox e-Alert that just landed in our inbox: a primetime TV schedule where's there's nothing to watch but Regis Philbin and Clay Aiken furrowing their brows in frustration at grade-school geometry lessons long forgotten, determined not to hear a smug Jeff Foxworthy ask, "So, since it's obvious that being famous has made you retarded, why don't you ask little Bobby over here how many sides a rhombus has?"

Up until the moment we closed our eyes and imagined this scene playing out every single night for months on end, the nightmare we might all wake up to any day now never felt quite real. Please join us in praying that this catastrophe can somehow be averted before Fox starts puts in a call to Jerry Springer's agent.