You can count vocal sex addict Andrea Peyser "in" when it comes to warring on behalf of Christmas, and Jesus. Andrea's teaming up with Catholic pedophilia-dismisser Bill Donohue to teach us all the real reason for the season.

Have you seen any instances of the word "Christmas" being replaced by the considerably more ethnic "Holiday"? Sen. Jim Inhofe sure has. And now that his hometown "Christmas" parade is a "Holiday" parade, he'll keep his horse stabled.

The holiday season is officially upon us! Tonight, the 74-foot, 12-ton Norway Spruce that serves as this year's Christmas tree at New York's Rockefeller Center was lit—with 36,000 bulbs!—by Mayor Michael Bloomberg and... Jeff Zucker? Watch inside.

Today, Susan Boyle performed "O Holy Night" on The View. About 30 seconds into the performance, Boyle's voice cracked so badly that she was forced to cut it short, before Sherri Shepherd and Whoopi Goldberg awkwardly danced around the debacle.

Yesterday, a very pregnant Mariah Carey graced HSN—several times!—to hawk everything from perfume (which she hates), to shoes, to a Ring Pop necklace. Carey also repeated herself ad nauseam, and—as this compilation from Rich Juzwiak shows—it was awesome.

A Wisconsin woman was arrested at a Toys "R" Us for telling fellow shoppers she would get her gun and shoot them after they objected to her butting in line. No gun was found. Happy Black Friday, America! [via johne]

Turistas: don't let bad PR stop you from visiting beautiful Mexico this holiday season! Just remember to pick up your Mexican army escort at the border, and "to move in convoys and only during daylight hours." ¡Feliz Navidad! [LAT]

Wegmans—yes, the supermarket—has a couple of new holiday-themed commercials out! That's not shocking. What is a bit surprising, however, is the fact that they feature Alec Baldwin as a pie/meal-buying... TV star? Anyway, both 30-second spots are inside.

Today, Jessica Simpson debuted the first single from her upcoming Christmas album, called, "My Only Wish (For Christmas Is You)." One problem: it's a total rip off of Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas Is You." Listen inside.

Wal-Mart—the hellish trinket-stuffed warehouse that is, in a horrifyingly literal sense, America's favorite destination—has instituted totally free online shipping, for the holidays. Try to resist now, hippies. This will change everything, for the worse.

The annual godless atheist humanist War on Christmas starts just as early as the Corporate American Christmas Season, and with equal fervor. For at least the third straight year, atheists have chosen to assault god-fearing Americans, with advertisements. Godless advertisements.

Remember how you used to have a few hours of airplane peace before handling crushing family holiday obligations? Google has taken care of that for you again this year, bringing back its free airline Wi-Fi.

This morning we were greeted with a frightening sight. Duane Reade is already selling Christmas decorations. They're not the only ones. Stores across the U.S. are advertising holiday sales. You all need to shut up with this Christmas crap already!

Christians in Britain are upset that the BBC has devoted air time to pagans and Hallowe'en, because Christmas and Easter and whatnot don't get nearly enough coverage: "It's not always healthy to represent such beliefs as paganism as mainstream." Nice.

"Black Friday," the big shopping day after Thanksgiving, now begins in October. Capitalism is magic!

Martha Stewart—and a Halloween-themed "buffet" that costs more than your rent—just visited The Tonight Show to craft with Jay Leno. Stewart showed off her festive contacts, talked about dogs/dating, lovably lectured Leno, and more! The best moments, inside.

As America's Second Great Depression wears on and the Christmas season approaceth, it's time to think about present budgeting, even for the nation's top 10% of wealth. They've settled on a spending figure, and it's even lower than last year.

Calling all Lambs! This morning, Mariah Carey graced the world with the first single from her upcoming Merry Christmas II You album, titled "Oh Santa." It's criminally catchy, obviously, and sure to become the next classic Christmas tune. Listen inside.

Hey, everyone. Are you guys having a good Yom Kippur? Wait… You don't know about Yom Kippur? The Jewish day of atonement? Let this ignorant Jew try to explain without even using Wikipedia.

The Hawaii home that the Obamas rent for holidays has been sold for $6.9 million.