Some of Hillary Clinton's crazy dead-enders, the sort of supporters who like to wear stickers on their foreheads, screamed criticisms of Barack Obama during Clinton's end-of-election speech Tuesday night, nearly interrupting her. Less privileged cultists vented their hysterics on Web forums like HillaryClintonForum.net, where they said Obama "sounds like a donkey," only got into law school thanks to affirmative action and is a front for Islamic extremists. You can practically feel the Democratic party getting stronger. Some excerpts:

The guys out there know what the New York Times is talking about, right? Old ladies just don't know when to quit! Sheesh.

Hillary Clinton's non-concession speech last night was apparently an insane circus of self-delusion and argument. Also the reporters to supporters ratio had to be totally out of whack, considering how many first-hand accounts are on the web today. So let's pick some anecdotes, shall we? First, from the Washington Post's Dana Milbank, the mystery of the reporter who KILLED CLINTON

The NYPD and the Secret Service shut down an art exhibition across the street from the New York Times building earlier this morning. The show's title was "The Assassination of Hillary Clinton/The Assassination of Barack Obama." This is today's "Thing most assured of getting in the tabloids tomorrow." The artist, Yazmany Arboleda, says his project is really about the media—he's definitely good at getting media attention, at least. He's even set up a website for each candidate's assassination (uh, in the media). Photos of his illegal work after the jump:

So you know who looks like an even bigger loser than Hillary Clinton today? The guy who got her mug tattooed on his thigh a few months ago. Hill will be able to forget this setback—she'll parlay her second-place finish into a sweet job in the Obama administration or an expanded role in the Senate—but this dude will have her ill-fated campaign memorialized on his dermis for life. Fortunately, there appear to be plenty of distractions to keep anyone from focusing too long on the former first lady's wide grin. And it could be worse. Like, say, this or this.

Hillary Clinton isn't conceding anything until her demands are met: she wants to be, according to the talking heads on TV, the vice presidential nominee; to have a "Teddy Kennedy" moment in the spotlight at the convention; and to have a big influence over the platform. That's why, in her speech tonight at the end of the Democratic primary process, at a time when Obama has won Montana and collected sufficient delegates in South Dakota to be the presumptive nominee, she declared she wasn't going to formally drop out of the race. She congratulated Obama for the "race he has run" instead of "the race he has won." Her suicide cult supporters were apparently ensconced in some kind of bat cave for several hours, reportedly without TV or cell phone reception, and were acting particularly crazy and defiant, yelling so loudly at certain points that they could be heard on camera even as Clinton was trying to speak. Watch a cruel and calculating Clinton refuse to end the relentless, nightmare Democratic primary in the non-concession concession speech after the jump.

Today, the Associated Press announced that Barack Obama is officially the Democratic nominee for President. Which means that the Hillary Clinton campaign is finished. It's been a long, long time. Two years, actually! We first tracked the history of the Clinton campaign back in April, when it was just probably doomed. Now it's time to revisit that history, this time with a big fancy chart. The data points are Barack Obama's closing prices on political futures betting site InTrade. The higher the closing price, the more likely investors think his nomination is (with 100 being dead-on certainty). Click to enlarge the chart, and to re-read our April history explaining the significance of the dates mentioned. Now updated with relevant "May" and "Early June" information!

Hillary Clinton's race for the presidency is OVER. It's DONE. The primaries are finished! The Associated Press has just crowned Barack Obama the official Democratic nominee for President. The wire story is an amusing 'fuck you' to the Clinton campaign, which spent the morning crowing about how the AP got their earlier story wrong. Also it's long and they've clearly been saving it for when they could finalize the math. Like an obituary. Which it effectively is. [AP]

Clinton campaign head Terry McAuliffe is clearly going nuts trying to explain anything about the Clinton campaign's strategy of not conceding. He said on The Today Show that if Obama reaches the magic number of delegates tonight (which he will, with victories in South Dakota, Montana, and a few more superdelegates), Hillary will "congratulate him and call him the nominee." This led to the AP explaining that Hil has effectively conceded. The problem is: she hasn't. She called The View to explain her position and upset Barbara.

• Esquire's editor-in-chief David Granger says he never got a call from Bill Clinton, as the former president suggested in his comments last night when he was asked to respond to the incendiary Vanity Fair story by Todd Purdum. Turns out it was a measly staff editor who emailed. [Politico]

Hillary will concede this evening "that Barack Obama has the delegates to secure the Democratic nomination" but "will not concede the nomination." So it's over. But not totally. [AP]

Audio emerged tonight of former President Bill Clinton calling Vanity Fair writer Todd Purdum a "sleazy... dishonest... slimy... scumbag." Former Times reporter Purdum, of course, is the guy who wrote the just-released article about how Clinton is running around the world on private jets, including one called "Air Fuck One," with billionaire scuzzballs like Ron Burkle, Steve Bing and Jeffrey Epstein. Clinton told a Huffington Post reporter Purdum was awful, and that the Vanity Fair piece has "five or six blatant lies," but then added he had never read it. But that didn't stop him from continuing to trash it, nor did the fact that Purdum is married to Clinton's former press secretary Dee Dee Myers. Audio after the jump, along with a text summary.

The rumor that the Republican Party has a tape of Michelle Obama railing against "whitey" in Rev. Jeremiah Wright's church apparently surfaced two weeks ago on No Quarter, a blog operated by Larry Johnson, a self-described former CIA analyst and supporter of Obama's Democratic presidential rival Hillary Clinton. No evidence has emerged to corroborate the wild rumor, but Fox News went ahead and aired the charges on camera today. The justification?

Hillary Clinton's suicide cult followers trailed her all the way to Puerto Rico, where they celebrated the Democratic presidential candidate's two-to-one victory over Barack Obama by, once again, wearing stickers on their foreheads, this time at a rally/brainwashing session in San Juan. Only 10 percent of eligible Puerto Ricans bothered to show up at the polls, because they know pandering, disingenuous gringos when they see them . Clinton is, as predicted, using the victory as proof that she won the popular vote in the Democratic primary, an assertion that requires the counting of Clinton's dubious victories in Florida and Michigan. After the jump, a video in which two crazed Clinton cultists scream about the Democratic National Committee's decision to seat only half of the improperly elected delegates from those states.

Oh Sen. Hillary Clinton, this really isn't the kind of thing you need at all. You know, that whole angry, shouty, "shrill" thing? Just something to think about is all.

"Democratic Party leaders agreed Saturday to seat Michigan and Florida delegates with half-votes at this summer's convention with a compromise that left Barack Obama on the verge of the nomination but riled Hillary Rodham Clinton backers who threatened to fight to the August convention. 'Hijacking four delegates is not a good way to start down the path of party unity,' said adviser Harold Ickes. Clinton's camp maintains she was entitled to four additional Michigan delegates."

Senator Hillary Clinton trails Senator Barack Obama in both delegates and the popular vote. On Tuesday, the last of primaries will be decided in Montana and South Dakota, where Obama is expected to win. "But that doesn't mean Sen. Clinton will be delivering a concession speech next week. The former first lady is favored to win the Puerto Rico primary on Sunday. A big victory there, combined with strong showings in Montana and South Dakota where Sen. Obama is favored, would put Sen. Clinton ahead in the popular vote, according to her campaign, which counts the votes from the disputed contests in Florida and Michigan and excludes caucus states. Most independent tallies of the popular vote put Sen. Obama ahead [...] 'Voting will be over [on Tuesday] but it's very unlikely the nomination will be secured,' says Clinton campaign strategist Geoff Garin." After the jump, just-released audio of Bill Clinton describing his devious plan for Florida and Michigan at a private fundraiser.

Presidential politics is but a blip on our radar most days at Defamer HQ, but every now and then a ping so rattles us from our afternoon stupor that we can't help but take notice. Today's wake-up call comes from angry activist and sometime actor Donald Sutherland, who just joined the stirring realms of downmarket punditry at The Huffington Post:

Ricky Martin is officially living La Vida Pantsuit. Four days before the Puerto Rican primary, the has-been boricua pop star has announced his support of Hillary Clinton. Expressing gratitude, Hillary issued a press release commending the Gandhi-like Martin for his committment to "improving the world through his philanthropic work." It's safe to say this is the most politicized day of Martin's life, between endorsing Hillary and Gov. David Paterson's decision to recognize marriages between Ricky-type people in the Menudo alum's adopted home of New York.

Fox News correspondent Liz Trotta said on air this weekend that she'd like to try and kill Barack Obama now that Hillary Clinton has wussed out on her comments about Obama's impending, Robert Kennedy-style death. Trotta started to talk about the idea of an "Osama" assassination, then corrected herself, saying "Osama, Obama — well, both, if we could." Then the former Washington Times bureau chief laughed like a brainwashed Moonie assassin. Trotta apologized in a later broadcast for her "lame attempt at humor," adding, "it is a very colorful political season." Immediately prior to the apology, Trotta had just spent a few minutes pontificating about Clinton on-camera again, because she isn't fired, because Fox News stands behind their crazy talking heads. After the jump, a clip with both the assassination comment and the apology.