A new "behavioural capability framework" proposed by the administration at RMIT University in Australia would require professors to be "positive" and "optimistic," as a rule. It would mandate niceness, in academia.

We must admit that we will never ever tire of directing your attention to the accumulation of evidence that "law school" is, by and large, a massive fraud perpetrated upon society's most overacquisitive young driftabouts, and one whose effect is to turn out a massive class of highly indebted functionaries whose skill set is not only undeveloped to the point of worthlessness, but that, when developed, is, for the most part, detrimental to the function of justice. The fact that law school's popularity is crumbling away as the magnitude of the systemic scam becomes ever more apparent can only be taken as a redeeming ray of hope for the future of our nation's collective critical thinking skills.

Santa Monica College is an absolutely god damn humongous community college in California. They have a problem faced by many such institutions these days: no money$$$ from their broke-ass state government, and one bazillion kids trying to get in, because everyone is poor and shit these days. How to take advantage of one of these problems to solve the other? Charge more money$$$, for the "good" classes!

Not long ago, getting into college involved nothing more than a fair-to-middling G.P.A., an essay about reading to the blind, and your parents' checkbook. Things are a bit more complicated now. College budgets are being slashed. Competition is intense. So intense that kids are starting the "college hunt" in ninth grade. Are you really prepared? You're about to be.

Used to be that community college was only for regular folks. The rich folks sent their kids to regular four-year colleges, unless their kids were major fuck-ups. You know who I'm talking about. But ever since the economy crashed and community colleges became competitive and the traditional middle class of colleges died off, even regular rich kids are showing up in community colleges. And, outrageously, they expect their school not to suck.

Of the ongoing battle against the stubborn head lice infestation at Indiana's Huntington University, one campus official says, "We feel like we're turning a good corner here."

The American higher education system is, if you take a long term view, fucked. We're locked in a student loan bubble. Student loan debt levels are at an all time high. Something has to give. Now, in California, there's an alternate plan that (not to alarm you) just might make sense.

There was a brief period in the history of human development in which it was imagined that making children "feel good" about themselves would have a positive effect on children's ability to learn facts and adapt to social norms. This period is now over, and good riddance. Let's tell these fucking kids just how wrong they are about things.

Tacoma Community College music instructor Kevin Gausepohl has some unconventional ideas about vocal instruction. But let's not dismiss them out of hand.

You know what the state of Arizona needs? More xenophobia. Also, less knowledge of Mexican-American history and more fear and distrust between white people and immigrants. So thank god that a judge has upheld an earlier ruling by Arizona's school superintendent that a Mexican-American studies program in Tucson is a violation of the law, in part because it promotes "resentment toward a race or class of people." White people in Arizona, specifically!

Like us, you've probably always assumed that schools with really good football teams are also full of stupid meatheads simply because stupid meatheads like football, and therefore go to those schools. That's not quite right; good football teams actually make students worse. Guy students. Cause guys like the football!

Paul Derengowski was an adjunct religion professor at Tarrant County College in Fort Worth, Texas. Now he's resigned, in protest of another protest about his class. This story is completely bananas. Here's a breakdown, from Inside Higher Ed:

College newspapers: how are they shocking and outraging campus officials with mild sexual content today? Well, you know, just in the normal way, by writing something about sex. But this time, more Jewish!

Jason Cohen is a young English professor at Kentucky's Berea College. Oh Jason Cohen, what did you put on the Twitter this week???

In the next decade, President Obama wants to raise America's college graduation rate to 60%. Currently, just over 40% of Americans aged 25-34 have college degrees. That means a lot of new college students will have to be added to the system, and soon. In fact, there is no hope of this being achieved.

Boys, or girls: which do you think is better at going to college? If you said "boys," fuck off, you stupid idiot, no wonder you never went to college.

Puppies and law school go together like leeches and community college. They're just a natural pair. Modern law school is little more than a slow process of coming to the realization that you really never should have gone to law school in the first place. What to do when the inevitable depression sets in? Play with dogs! Dogs, dogs, dogs. Dogs will take the pain away.

Here's what stupid uneducated people imagine that college literature professors do: teach. Har har, stupid ignorant idiots! Here is what college literature professors actually do: write obscure papers that nobody will read. Now that's where it's at!

We blame the 60s. For everything. Today, we blame the 60s for creating the lax and permissive atmosphere in this great nation that directly caused our "best and brightest" young university students to neglect their studies in favor of LSD, sexual intercourse, and LSD intercourse.

L'Oreal (now putting less mascara in the eyes of bunnies!) gave the University of Oxford a huge pile of money to endow the "L'Oréal Professor of Marketing" chair. Of course, being a great academic university, Oxford would never allow millions upon millions of dollars to interfere with the principle of absolute academic freedom.