Thieves snuck into an industrial truck parking lot in Scotland around 2:30 a.m. Thursday, targeting a huge semi-trailer that contained nine metric tons of Kelloggs’s cereal bars. They stole the whole damn thing, worth nearly $70,000.

Say you’re an elite thief who just pulled off a brazen $388 million diamond heist. Now I get the logic of hiding in plain sight. But hell, you’re allegedly holding something north of $54 million. What makes you decide not to, say, move to a nice island somewhere with no extradition treaties? A real mystery for the ages.

Police say they are searching for four diamond thieves after the theft of a diamond necklace worth more than $4.6 million in Hong Kong, Agence France-Presse reports. One of the thieves is reportedly a girl between 12 and 14 years old.

Joseph Gibbons, a filmmaker and former M.I.T. professor, is facing felony robbery charges in two states after after allegedly filmed himself stealing $1,000 from a Manhattan bank on New Year's Eve and $3,000 from a bank in Rhode Island in November, the New York Post reports. Gibbons.

The most casual thieves in Madrid made off with around 70 paintings last week after they punched a hole through the wall of a vacant building into an art gallery, local news sites report.

A northern California couple who found $10 million in rare coins buried in their backyard may not get to see any of that money—there's evidence the coins were stolen during a turn-of-the-century heist, which would mean they belong to the government.

Kentucky police are expending resources and rewards to try to find the thieves who took $26,000 worth of rare bourbon and rye from a distillery in October.

Julian Proctor Van Winkle III and his son Julian Preston Van Winkle are the proprietors of Kentucky's Old Rip Van Winkle Distillery, and they make the best bourbon in the world at a rate of roughly 7,000 cases per year. Which is why you can't find any of it, anywhere. Sighting a bottle of the 20-year-old Pappy Van Winkle's Family Reserve, which retails at $130, in a liquor store is like spotting a Scaly-Sided Merganser in the wild. The Van Winkles are personally beset by desperate high-class drunks seeking an in. Personal assistants have wasted days trying to track down bottles for well-heeled bosses. Pappy is furtively deployed to seal multi-million-dollar business deals. Leads are whispered about among aficionados: "I heard about a warehouse in Jersey that just got a shipment."

A shipment of $93 million in cash, traveling from Zurich to the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, arrived with $1.2 million missing, according to ABC News. The shortage wasn't noticed till the Fed counted the money, which had left Switzerland on Saturday in three sealed crates bound for JFK Airport.

On February 19, one of the largest bank heists in history was pulled off and almost no one noticed. No getaway vehicles were left idling, no guns were pointed, no panic buttons were pressed—but somehow several crews in two dozen countries working in perfect precision walked away with $40 million in cash.

Police arrested 31 people connected to the "highly professional" diamond heist at the Brussels Airport three months ago that resulted in $50 million of stolen loot. Police say they seized stolen diamonds, luxury cars, and large sums of money from the 31 arrested.

At 7:50 p.m. on Monday night, a Brink's armored truck on the Tarmac at Brussels Airport was loading a shipment of uncut diamonds onto a 8:10 Zurich-bound Helvetic Airlines flight. At 7:54 p.m., the diamonds were gone. What happened in between was "one of the biggest" diamond heists ever: a gang of eight thieves, apparently in dark clothing meant to resemble police uniforms and armed with "machine guns," drove through the airport fence in two vehicles, flashed their weapons at guards, seized the diamonds from the airport's cargo hold, and sped off. One of the vehicles was later found burned out nearby. "This was undoubtedly a highly professional job," a Belgian police source told the Evening Standard. The uncut diamonds, lacking certificates, will likely be unrecovered. The passengers on the Helvetic jet were apparently completely unaware that the heist was occurring a few yards away. [AFP | BBC | Telegraph | Evening Standard]

Good news if you hate art: there is none anymore. It has all been stolen.

Over the summer, ten pieces of Cartier jewelry were stolen from the NYC brownstone of professional actress and redhead Julianne Moore. The items were valued at $127,000. No arrests have been made. Luckily, the New York Times' on the scene reporter has rounded up a few suspects.

Florida authorities have arrested a trio of dental hygiene heisters, peridontal purloiners accused of stealing $3 million worth of electric toothbrushes and whitening strips from more than 60 retail stores.

Bitcoin, the virtual currency that has sparked a digital gold rush, is now being targeted by malicious nerds seeking a quick payday. A new Trojan automatically scans for Bitcoins and steals them.

This story combines two of our favorite things: Jewel heists and hidden treasure. Police this week in Paris discovered a cache of jewels worth around $20.6 million in a drainpipe at the home of a guy behind one of the largest jewel heists ever:

Jade Uribe was arrested for stealing a $1,200 Ridley Howard drawing from the wall of a gallery in Greenpoint, Brooklyn during a party. Partygoers chased him down and busted him. Now the gallery's owner is begging for leniency.

It's been a pretty heist-filled holiday season in New York! First, the $1 million art heist; then on Christmas day, three masked men stole $879,000 worth of jewels from a diamond store, escaping by jumping roof-to-roof.

Retired tennis great Pete Sampras had a "majority" of the memorabilia from his days as a champion stolen from a California public storage facility, including rings, medals and trophies. It's very sad, but why was that stuff in public storage?