Halle Berry's french husband Olivier Martinez could face battery charges after knocking an airport employee on his ass yesterday. The TMZ video here shows Halle and her beautiful family trying to make their way out of LAX in peace, before Olivier nails the employee with a baby car seat (presumably belonging to Maceo, Halle and Olivier's son).

TMZ says Halle Berry is 3 months pregnant. She is also 46. On Monday, her fiancé kicked a photographer.

Last week, actress Halle Berry observed Thanksgiving with the traditional Violent Fight—Almost to the Death—Between Frenchmen on her lawn, where her fiancé beat the shit out of the father of her child. Since then, accusations have been flying like bloodied fists:

All the men in Halle Berry's life are trying to kill one another. Here's what her fiancé did to Gabriel Aubry's face.

Conflicting reports on how Halle Berry was injured during filming of her upcoming movie The Hive, but all end with her being rushed to LA's Ceders-Sinai Medical Center around 10 PM last night in an unknown condition.

This headline is misleading: Halle Berry actually broke her foot while chasing her daughter Nahla, who was chasing a goat. I hope you can forgive the shorthand.

Jason Biggs' real life is actually sort of like his American Pie life. Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore are getting some Kabbalah Kounseling. And poor Cyclops can't win. Saturday gossip is looking for its daughter, who may or may not be with a goat.

Lindsay Lohan is an Italian fashion plate. Emily Deschanel gives birth. Scarlett Johansson's late-night rendezvous with Timberlake. Bethenny Frankel's maritime rescuer thinks she's a jerk. Minka Kelly's butt gets slapped. Thursday gossip makes love to the camera.

Halle Berry's been filming her new movie, Cloud Atlas, in Glasgow, Scotland, where it's apparently as cold as the McDickens. To stay warm, the usually sweaty actress has been clutching to hot water bottles and doing dances, which we'll categorize as "funny."

It's a time-honored tradition for reports at gay newspapers or magazines to ask straight celebrities, "If you played for the other team, who would you want to sleep with?" It's like that will make them slightly more gay or something. But everyone seems to have a celebrity they want to bone who is not of the gender they usually bone. Who's yours?

Labor Day is almost upon us, people, which means we need to get in our fix of celebrities of all stripes parading around in next to nothing at the beach. Let's take advantage while we still can!

Heidi Klum, the woman of a million bikinis, hangs out on the beach with her baby seal. Wait, I mean, her baby (comma) Seal. [Images via INF and Flynet]

Halle Berry was trapped in her house by a stalker. William and Kate have left the country. Anthony Weiner flew to Miami to reconcile with his wife. Gwyneth Paltrow went on vacation to rub her bikini body in your face. Monday's gossip doesn't know if it's coming or going.

Rihanna's concert in Dallas burst into flames! David Letterman's set was broken in to by a vandal! Some women didn't recognize Kellan Lutz! The Royals met Jack Black! Sunday gossip is filled with stories of doom and disaster!

The one-time movie maven is now shifting her priorities a little bit, considering smaller projects. Also today: Taylor Lautner's dad is becoming a problem, Susan Sarandon wants you to be her teacher's pet, and an inevitable Hunger Games update.

Matthew Morrison flees his rat-infested home. Nicolas Cage's binge-drinking weekend melee gets weirder. David Hasselhoff is "in like" with a woman half his age. Halle Berry's custody battle forces her to quit a play. Monday gossip is filthy.

Stars, they're just like us! Halle Berry appeared on Ellen this afternoon following a group of impressive Indian dancers. They made her so nervous, she said, that she sweat right through her dress before her appearance.

Paris Hilton's birthday gift cost more than your house. Charlie Sheen lectures Lindsay Lohan on "impulse control." Jessica Alba is pregnant again. Thursday gossip likes the cars that go boom.

Lindsay Lohan says the jewelry store that filed grand theft charges against her keeps changing their story. Scarlett Johansson is supposedly diddling Sean Penn, Jennifer Aniston wants to move to New York, and Pete Wentz is getting divorced against his will. Thursday's gossip makes bad decisions.

Halle Berry's custody battle gets ugly. Jennifer Aniston could have been an SNL cast member. Whoopi Goldberg on shitting the bed. Lindsay Lohan didn't steal that necklace, she "borrowed" it. Thursday gossip has feminine wiles.

Rihanna celebrates looking sexy in a leaked sexting picture. Lindsay Lohan wears a shoplifted necklace. Mariah Carey is expecting twins. Wednesday's gossip roundup is comfortable with its body.