Men: they are wearing beards now. Why? The WSJ's Tina Gaudoin has a theory:

Here now, a new study chronicled in the scientific journal The Daily Mail, which lays bare womankind's deepest, darkest, shiniest, most volumizing secret: some women are far more concerned about their hair than about their physique. Ladies. Ladies. You have it backwards.

At Hampton University, a historically black college in Virginia, MBA students are banned from wearing cornrows or dreadlocks, thanks to an edict from Business School Dean Sid Credle.

Expertly coiffed pop star Justin Bieber doesn't understand why Prince William's hair is thinning.

If there was one thing you could always count on, it was that if you, a red-blooded American male, were ever to experience the pain of hair loss, there would always be a strong, welcoming, American-owned Hair Club For Men for you to turn to. Well. Things have changed.

"You need to see this photo, Drudge Report and Gawker," The Toronto Star tweeted today. The photo in question is of the ugliest mouse imaginable—veiny and bald and resembling an impossibly mutated monster's scrotum—with a tuft of coarse black hair growing from the back of its neck. The hair, the Star writes, is the product of revolutionary "bioengineered hair follicles" created by stem-cell researchers in Japan.

Hillary Clinton's handlers are trying to pry scrunchies for her cold, dead hair, Elle reports in an article that simultaneously justifies and apologizes for writing about Hillary's hair:

In her ongoing plight to transform herself into the hungover older sister of a Treasure Troll doll, Ke$ha has removed a swath of hair from her head and replaced it with metal studs.

This has been a remarkably entertaining Republican primary season. Amidst all the insanity, there is one thing that is so odd, unnatural, and reprehensible that it boggles my mind. No, I'm not talking about Rick Santorum. I'm talking about Callista Gingrich's hair. Her butter-blonde helmet is a feat of modern engineering. How does she get it just so?

Today the gambling website OnlineGamblingPal.com dropped $10,871 for a sample of entombed pop star Michael Jackson's old hair. Why so much? Because that's the going market rate for the amount of Michael Jackson hair you see in the photo. Also, they saw the hairball's potential—as a roulette ball.

The Amish beard-theft ring whose crimes shocked the world last October is now in police custody after the FBI raided their Ohio compound and arrested seven men in connection with the attacks. Hate crime charges have been filed.

Chickens-rights-championing nose-singer Morrissey was spotted today in Dallas getting his locks trimmed and sculpted into his trademark rockabilly 'do. (Morrissey was proudly touting allegiance to the Hitler Youth before anyone.) But unlike your typical barbershop patron who leaves the clippings on the floor, Morrissey requested a hair doggie-bag for the road:

You know that increasingly popular old-timey hairdo for men where the sides are shorn short, but the top remains long and can be slicked back with brylcreem or sculpted into an ornate pomade wave? Joe Jonas has it, and so does the guy from Arcade Fire. David Lynch sports an extreme version.

At an Australian event for I Don't Know How She Does It (Can you believe they're still promoting that movie?) Sarah Jessica Parker could not stop touching her hair. Noted: Sarah Jessica Parker is an Obsessive-Compulsive Hair-Toucher.

Following the U.S. Army's establishment of a wuss workout program and, more broadly, the year-long erosion of American masculinity, it's little wonder that our nation's fighting forces are now more concerned with eyebrow grooming than with removing the digits of enemy soldiers to bring home as souvenirs. Is America's metrosexual Army going to be able to endure the harsh skin-drying effects of the Middle Eastern climate?

A hair stylist in the U.K. has opened a salon especially for bigger-boned clients. Apparently plus-size women don't like going to regular salons? Is that really helping or is it part of the problem?

As part of the TSA's efforts to stop black women from always trying to board airplanes with their hairdos full of explosives and boxcutters, an agent at Atlanta's airport made Dallas-based hairstylist Isis Brantley submit to a thorough Afro search. And a free head massage! Security checkpoints are the new spas.

According to Guinness World Records, the largest natural afro in the world has a circumference of 4 feet and 4 inches, and belongs to a 36-year-old social worker from New Orleans. Seated in a room full of disco balls, atop a giant mirrored platform, Aevin Dugas describes the drawbacks of having the world's biggest afro:

We well-meaning men have been trying to tell you this for years, ladies: your fancy hairdo is dumb. And it sucks up time that could be better spent on other things like, I don't know, just to pick an example out of thin air... doing some exercise to get yourself in shape, for once.

One funny thing that happened recently was when Nivea ran that ad that straight up said that Afros are not civilized. Remember that? Haha, those ad guys were on so much crack cocaine, I guess? Well now they've apologized!