This man celebrated Osama Bin Laden's demise by exercising one of our most sacred rights as Americans: The right to tool around on an ATV while firing a handgun into the air and hollering "U-S-A, U-S-A, U-S-A."

If there's one thing in the world that Arizona needs right now, it's an official state gun. Another totally normal state, Utah has one, so it's only fitting that Arizona followed suit. Governor Jan Brewer yesterday signed the important bill into law making the classic Colt Single Action Army Revolver the state gun. That's cool and everything, but we want to know which state will be the first to choose an official taser/stun gun/mace?

Despite having cornered the market on cheap crap, Wal-Mart just isn't as popular as it used to be. Not to worry. Wal-Mart knows exactly what you animals want: deadly weapons.

If you're on the FBI's terrorist watch list, you can't get on a plane. You can't get 9/11 responder health benefits. But you can buy all the fucking guns your little jihadi heart desires—247 of you did last year, according to the FBI—because the NRA is out there protecting the Allah-given right of suspected terrorists to buy guns.

Confronted with a 6'4", 350-pound "agitated mentally disturbed" man wielding a razor and, apparently, a broom, police in Macon, Ga. used a handful of lollipops to subdue the subject, offering them as bargaining chips in exchange for the man relinquishing the razor and allowing himself to be handcuffed. We therefore support arming police officers everywhere with lollipops, attached to their utility belts in small lollipop-bags, for use in violent confrontation. As the saying goes, "you subdue more huge violent men with lollipops than with vinegar, or guns." [Macon Telegraph; image via Shutterstock]

Preschool America has truly gone to seed. Just days after a spate of drunken toddler sightings, a six-year-old Houston boy brought a loaded gun to his school cafeteria. It gets worse: The gun discharged when he dropped it, injuring himself and two other students.

You know what's a really bad idea? Allowing college kids to carry concealed handguns on public university campuses. For the second time, a Texas Republican state senator, Jeff Wentworth is trying to get a bill passed that would allow this to happen. But as of last night, according to The Austin American-Statesman, the bill appeared to be almost dead. Wentworth told the paper, "I didn't have the votes" to get the bill on trigger happy Governor Rick Perry's desk. Good.

What's dumber than a gun show? A gun show that allows people to bring their own weapons. Especially when someone decides they're going to bring a .45 caliber handgun after they've been drinking, load said handgun, and then accidentally shoot an old man and a teenager. According to the AP, 30-year-old Joshua Wilkinson went to the Tri-State Gun and Knife Show on Saturday in Evansville, Indiana, where:

In a landmark piece of legislation that once again demonstrates their profound capacity for out-of-the-rational-box thinking, the Arizona House of Representatives has voted to allow guns on campuses.

Today we learned about the gun-toting killer beauty queen who loves her gun. She really does! Now she wants to make some money posing for pictures with guns and talking about how everyone should have guns. One commenter found this unsettling.

Two weeks after shooting a home invader dead with a pink .38-caliber gun, Florida beauty queen Meghan Brown is ready to cash in. The Daily reports that, in the days immediately after the shooting, Meghan "modeled thigh-high stockings and a black corset laced up with a hot pink ribbon—all while aiming a shiny pistol." Why, you ask?

A 92-year-old Florida woman, Helen Staudinger really wanted a kiss from her 53-year-old ex-cop neighbor, Dwight Bettner on Monday. But when he turned down her advances and walked back home, Staudinger fired four shots from a pistol at his house, according to Reuters:

South Dakota's governor signed a law yesterday requiring women to wait 72 hours after seeing a doctor to get an abortion. By contrast, the 48-hour waiting period to buy a handgun was repealed two years ago.

Running easily purchased American guns to Mexican gangs is all the rage these days in the Great American Southwest, so you know it couldn't be long until a border town's mayor, sheriff, and city council got in on the fun.

Just when you thought he was too busy to deal with anything else, especially something with annoying culture-war implications, Barack Obama went and published an op-ed in this past Sunday's Arizona Daily Star to start a conversation on gun reforms. That does not mean, as he anxiously rushed to note in his column, that he wants to take everyone's guns and repeal the Second Amendment. He just wants "commonsense" reforms, of some sort. Unfortunately, this political process starts by reaching out to the NRA, and guess what? The NRA does not give a fuck about Barack Obama.

From the "You think your local politicians are bad..." department: the mayor, police chief, and a town councilman in the border town of Columbus, New Mexico have been arrested and charged with running an illegal gun-smuggling ring. The mayor allegedly bought dozens of pistols and stored them, and the police chief allegedly bought body armor. The Feds say that much of the material was destined for violent Mexican drug gangs that operate just across the border. Nice.

Republican Iowa State Rep. Jeff Kaufmann, speaker pro tem of the Iowa State House, was caught joking on a hot mic that a proposal which would allow state residents to carry weapons in public without permission from a sheriff and without any training or a background check might better be called the "give-a-handgun-to-a-schizophrenic-bill."

The violent government crackdowns on protests across the Middle East this year are apparently starting to weigh on the minds of Western governments who supply despots with the latest, greatest killing machines on the market. Well, sort of.

Jared Lee Loughner, the man accused in the January shooting spree in Tucson, was indicted on additional federal murder charges by a grand jury yesterday for allegedly murdering "participants at a federally provided activity," the Justice Department announced Friday.

Texas is only the most stereotypical of the nine states currently debating whether to allow students to carry guns on college campuses. Students! With guns! At college! In Texas! This is what they are worried about, when it comes to education issues, in Texas. Why?