A 92-year-old Florida woman, Helen Staudinger really wanted a kiss from her 53-year-old ex-cop neighbor, Dwight Bettner on Monday. But when he turned down her advances and walked back home, Staudinger fired four shots from a pistol at his house, according to Reuters:

"I've taken her trash out for her, just neighborly stuff," Bettner said. "I guess she just took that as something else."

No kidding. Staudinger is being held on an aggravated assault with a deadly weapon charge.