If you've ever walked down Broadway just south of Houston Street, you know the Hollister. There are always shirtless lifeguard-type boys outside, urging you in? It's quite effective! Not so effective? Bedbugs, which are what the store is currently battling.

Public libraries in the internet age have become less about books and more about free porn and librarian sex. But one Massachusetts lawmaker is on a mission to stop it, by publicly shaming people caught watching porn on library computers.

The Alaskan town of Wasilla is home to some pretty amazing people, like Sarah Palin and Levi Johnston. And now the town's Alaska Distillery is rolling out a new Smoked Salmon Flavored Vodka. The first batches were described as "greasy."

What is the deal with airline food? Good question! Turns out, the deal with airline food is that it is made at facilities containing roach carcasses "too numerous to count." And that's just one of the FDA reports!

We had no idea what we were getting ourselves into when we asked for your subway horror stories. Here are some of the grossest things we've ever heard, and the winner of our sick little contest.

A Detroit Public Schools district superintendent is accusing the board president of masturbating in her presence. She says it was his "usual habit" to fondle himself during meetings and she "tried to ignore it." This is called "The Dov Charney."

Oh. My. God. If you're easily disturbed, this video—in which a mother enlists her two young sons to help with a raunchy-as-hell amateur video to Yo Gotti's "5 Star Chick"—is not for you. Otherwise, come on in!

The demo iPads at Apple stores are like something out of The Andromeda Strain. The Daily News swabbed a couple and found staphylococcus aureus, "the most common cause of staph infections", as well as yeast and a rash-causing bacteria. [Gothamist]

Dillon Makuski, a 20-year-old diaper fetishist, was given 30 months probation, 200 hours of community service, and must undergo a psycho-sexual examination for stealing dirty diapers from someone's home. He was arrested with six soiled diapers in his pockets.

An elderly Chicago couple was rescued from beneath piles of junk inside their home where they were trapped for two weeks and may have been bitten by rats. The smell was so bad that firefighters had to wear hazmat suits.

In 2009, 51 New York City bus drivers took paid leave after being spat upon, taking, on average, three months off. And guess whose fault it is? The MTA, of course, for pissing people off by cutting service. [NYT; pic]

Yikes. Igor and Grichka Bogdanoff starred in '80s French sci-fi shows. Then they got addicted to plastic surgery. Now they look like crazy cat people! Click through for how they used to look, if you want to be sad.

Why is Neapolitan pizza so good? Could it be the fresh ingredients? The recipes passed down from generation to generation? The long tradition of pizza-making? Or maybe it's the coffin wood possibly being used to fuel the ovens? [AFP]

Kids always want to grow up to be veterinarians, to play with all creatures great and small forever. That dream ends now thanks to Weird, True, and Freaky, which showed just how terrifying a day at the zoo can be.

Barcelona doctors have performed the world's first full face transplant on a man injured in a shooting accident. There had been partial face transplants before, but this was the whole thing. Like a pancake on a bowling ball. [Telegraph]

A new orifice-sucking leech has been discovered, and it will eat your eyeballs.

This pitcher's manager simply said he was sick, but he gives us a lot more detail. It happens to everyone, but this man refuses to be ashamed.

Hey, American children, stop embarrassing American adults! Jamie Oliver, a man who comes from a country that calls bland, gray blobs of food "dinner," is showing the world that not only do American children eat horribly, they like it.

Sure, he may be uncomfortable with the impoverished, but we should just be proud of former President Bush for making is through this whole visit to Haiti without one of his trademark hilarious verbal goof-ups, like "we don't torture.")

What's hotter than a hip girl with a perfect body and an ample bosom? A hip girl with a perfect body, ample bosom, and a mustache. Throw in spandex with a boner, and it's no longer advertising—it's art.