Greta Van Susteren, Fox News anchor and power-blogger, was channel-surfing before her show tonight. (God knows she doesn't "prepare" or anything.) She happened on CNN's Parker/Spitzer, and was disgusted by the orgy of Bush-bashing sexual innuendo she witnessed therein.

Daily Profile: Greta Van Susteren

Who: The stiff-jawed, thoroughly plasticized legal expert hosts On the Record with Greta Van Susteren on the Fox News Channel. She's also a big-time member of the Church of Scientology and a pal of Sarah Palin.

In your womp-filled Wednesday media column: Greta Van Susteren will never leave your TV screen, an ad blogger gets an ad job, Benoit Denizet-Lewis is a Good Man, and the FT is the paper of the future.

Earlier this week, we wondered if Sarah Palin got a boob job. Speaking last night to Fox News' Greta Van Susteren, Palin said, "I know Boob-Gate is all over the internet right now," but the rumors are false. Hmm.

Fox News Anchor Greta Van Susteren started a poll on her blog asking if she was dumber than a guy who sent her hate mail. She "won." "havw [sic] some fun!" she wrote today, "the poll was a joke!"

This week, Fox News anchor Greta Van Susteren posted a poll asking who was dumber: She or a guy who sent her hate mail. Since we last checked, those voting "Greta" rose from 58% to 77%. A landslide!

Fox News' Greta Van Susteren received an email from a viewer, "Brian," saying that her "brain is empty." Naturally, she started a poll on her blog: "Who is dumber? Greta, or Brian." Guess who's winning.

It seemed SNL was all about politics tonight, from the opening Fox News parody to a second Don't Ask, Don't Tell discussion in a View sketch. But it was Andy Samberg's obscenity-laden impersonation of Rahm Emanuel that stole the show.

Greta Van Susteren is probably the least watched anchor on Fox News because she's boring and unattractive, but I'll give her this: She has balls. I think I'm being metaphorical when I say that, but none can be too sure.

An ethics investigator's report leaked to the press says that Sarah Palin has been "securing unwarranted benefits and receiving improper gifts" through the legal defense fund set up for her by John Coale, the Scientologist husband of Greta Van Susteren.

Chelsea Clinton is not marrying that "Marc Mezvinsky banker guy," according to Cindy Adams, who learns lots of stuff when she "weekends" in the Hamptons with Palin-obsessed Scientologist power couple John Coale and Greta van Susteren.

In your plastic Wednesday media column: Greta Van Susteren explains why she's a better friend to "poor African Americans" than Barack Obama is, along with newspaper news, TV news, and New York Post blowjob news.

There haven't been too many reasons for New York Times Co. CEO Janet Robinson to celebrate in recent months. But today there is! Robinson turns 59 today. Other people with something to smile about today: Charlie Rangel is turning 79. Shia LaBeouf is 23. Fox News anchor Greta Van Susteren turns 55. Actor Peter Dinklage is 40. Public advocate Betsy Gotbaum turns 71. Cardiologist (and Oprah BFF) Mehmet Oz is turning 49. Mets shortstop José Reyes is 26. Hugh Laurie is 50. Actor Joshua Jackson is turning 31. Former housing secretary Henry Cisneros is 62. And former football great Joe Montana turns 53 today.

A tipster passed along something we didn't know: Noted Scientologist Greta van Susteren's sister is a psychiatrist. Or, as Greta's religion would have it, a practitioner of the "industry of death," a "fraud," a drug-peddler, and a "rapist." We asked her what she thought of her sister's curious views.

• How is Twitter going to make money? With a reality TV series, naturally. The show will involve "putting ordinary people on the trail of celebrities in a revolutionary competitive format," in case you were wondering. [Variety]
• The primetime lineups for next year "are chockablock with shows meant to make recession-weary viewers laugh and feel better." How encouraging! [NYT]
• Ratings are down for CNN's Anderson Cooper as well as for Roland Martin, who has been subbing for Campbell Brown recently. [Page Six]
• Bravo's next Real Housewives installment: Washington, DC. [Daily Intel]
• Fox News nut Greta Van Susteren may not be around for long. Rumor has it her contract won't be be renewed and Megyn Kelly will replace her. [NYT]
• New York lost close to $5 million last year; with ad pages down 37 percent thus far in 2009, "losses are expected to be even higher this year." [NYP]
• A Russian investment firm has dropped $200 million into Facebook's bank account in return for a 1.96 percent stake in the company. [NYT]
• Ben Stiller's Night at the Museum sequel beat out the fourth installment of the Terminator franchise with a four-day pull of $70 million. [Reuters]

Fox News' Greta van Susteren is, according to a New York Times story published over the weekend, "defending her brand." But there's one thing she's not defending herself against, because the Times didn't ask about it: Her Scientologist husband's plot to infiltrate our political system to promote his cult's agenda.

Well here's a sort of amazing story—-Fox News' Greta Van Susteren recently saved the life of Wonkette founding editor Ana Marie Cox on a train!

Scientologist macher John Coale hatched a crazy plan to forge an alliance between Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin, Politico reported this morning. In a rare—solitary?—display of good judgment, Palin turned him down.

Greta Van Susteren, an adult with a lucrative career as a famous journalist, writes the best blog in the world. She is terribly upset that someone called her a "handler."