Move over Jen Aniston, we have a new queen of sad jiltedness. And sadness, thy name is Bridget Moynihan. Also today: Two TV powerhouses are welcoming new children into their lives, LeBron's mom is in trouble, and Kanye likes the ladies.

Angelina adds a new coordinate to the tattooed list of her children's birthplaces. Charlie Sheen gets a standing ovation in Cleveland. Nick Cannon rather regrets taking "nasty" naked pictures with Mariah. Wednesday gossip is feeling broody.

Ke$ha invites Britney to get naked with her. Rosie O'Donnell is on Team Chris Brown. Christina Aguilera giggles at her "hiccups." Lindsay Lohan causes another fender-bender. Tuesday gossip is hit or miss.

Ryan Kwanten eagerly awaits his superhero franchise. Justin Trousersnake canoodles Olivia Wilde. Reese Witherspoon releases pictures from her wedding. Monday's gossip roundup is a roundup of action.

Charlie Sheen's live show was terrible, unsurprisingly. Lindsay Lohan might play a murder victim. Kate Middleton has six hairdressers. Bad things are happening in the world; let's numb ourselves with a Sunday Gossip Roundup!

Victoria's Secret model Candice Swanepoel wants you to stop worrying about her. Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris aren't getting a prenup. Charlie Sheen's goddesses must stay away from his kids. Welcome to Saturday Gossip Roundup!

It's Gaga's party, and she'll make Glambert cry if she wants to. Lindsay Lohan swears she wasn't drunk when she fell outside a bar in New York. Brangelina goes on a mini-vacation. It's TGIFriday gossip.

Judge Judy is hospitalized after a bizarre on-camera ramble. Vanilla Ice becomes a mime. Lindsay Lohan looks for an apartment in New York. Thursday gossip is in recovery.

From her concerts! Enrique Iglesias pulled out prematurely from Britney Spears' concerts. Lindsay Lohan evades a criminal charge. Denise Richards needs extra protection from Charlie Sheen. Wednesday gossip can't handle the truth.

Charlie Sheen's dog keels over from malnutrition and neglect. Lady Gaga gets diamonds and a sex doll for her birthday. Kanye's new girlfriend is Pharrell's niece. Beyonce fires her dad. Tuesday gossip has a body count.

Katy Perry's mom writes a memoir about her daughter's dirty pillows. Chris Brown's neighbors hate him. Matt Damon on the transitive property of kissing. Prince William cuts water sports from his bachelor party. Monday gossip is damned.

• Royal wedding news! The official cake for Kate and William's wedding has been revealed, and it is… "a multi-tiered, traditional fruitcake"? As we speak, the cake is "maturing," because you apparently don't bake a fruitcake as much as ferment it. There will be a bunch of "3-D scrollwork, flowers, leaves and other decorative touches," on it, but, ew, England. It's bad enough at Christmas, but the Most Important Wedding of All Time is going to have a fruitcake? Look at the official royal baker, Fiona Cairns, mixing the cake above. GROSS. Oh, but don't worry there's also going to be a "chocolate-cookie cake". A chocolate cookie cake? Is this a spectacular royal wedding or an insurance office goodbye party? The main course at dinner will be canned beans slopped on paper plates with a ladle. [People]

• Michael Lohan is "hurt' by the fact that Lindsay Lohan wants to drop her last name, Madonna-style: "I'm proud of the Lohan name. It's a name of integrity," he told the Daily News. "We all had very successful jobs on Wall Street. My father was an unbelievable provider. My sisters are pillars of the community. There's not a blemish in my family outside of me." So maybe Lindsay should change her name to Lindsay "Not-Michael-Lohan". NYDN]

Lindsay Lohan drops her last name while the other Lohans change theirs. Chris Brown's publicist leaves him. In Touch documents Jennifer Aniston's "worst date ever." It's time for TGIFriday gossip.

Chris Brown apologizes for breaking GMA's window. Whoopi Goldberg confesses she was high when she won her Oscar. Ashley Greene's post-Jonas rumspringa continues. And Westboro Baptist Church plans to protest at Liz Taylor's funeral. Thursday gossip has regrets.

A gleeful Chris Brown galavants around town after breaking Good Morning America's window. 50 Cent gives Chelsea Handler a backhanded compliment. Hugh Hefner's fiancee may already be cheating. Wednesday gossip shakes its haters off.

Asked about his history of violence, Chris Brown flies into a violent rage. Rob Pattinson calls Justin Bieber a liar. Bam Margera calls a girl a whale and gets punched in the face. Tuesday gossip lacks impulse control.

Tiger Woods' gentle path is in danger. Courteney Cox and David Arquette reunite. Renee Zellweger dumped Bradley because he wouldn't propose. Britney Spears gets a tutor. Monday gossip backslides.

J.Lo's beauty regimen solves unemployment. Renee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper break up. Elin Nordegren moves back to America. Tom Cruise gives Katie Holmes a sewing machine, so she can make aprons. Saturday gossip is high maintenance.

Chris Brown explains the emergence of a naked self-portrait: "Girls be reckless." Lindsay Lohan goes clubbing in New York. For the price of 15 minutes with a high-end hooker, you can now meet Charlie Sheen. TGIFriday gossip.