Despite multiple claims to the contrary, Robert Pattinson's first televised interview since his very public split from cheating girlfriend Kristen Stewart will not be conducted on Good Morning America.

Sarah Tressler, the Piven-schtupping stripper caught living a shameful secret life as a society reporter, broke her silence on Good Morning America today. She says employer The Houston Chronicle fired her for "not disclosing" her secret sidejob as an "Angry Stripper" with an anonymous blog. (The Chronicle won't comment on what happened.) She doesn't seem too upset, though.

Even though ABC's aggressive move to topple The Today Show appears to be working so far, it has backfired a bit.

Before the movie even began filming there was talk of The Hunger Games all over Twitter, at middle school lunch tables, and on the cover of what seems like a zillion issues of Entertainment Weekly. The first trailer even got a premiere on Good Morning America today. What's the big deal?

French politician Aurelie Filippetti reportedly told police that she never visited supposed sex-binger Dominique Strauss-Kahn at his Parisian apartment because people warned her that the ex-IMF chief maybe attacked women there. Did she actually call DSK's place a "sex den," though?

Good Morning America has gone ahead and created a non-issue out of a few Dads feeling weird about their sons wearing pink. We know how much GMA loves their panels, so they gathered a group of fathers and a separate group of little dudes to get some opinions on the non-matter. The series of questioning involved the interviewer raising a tiara in her hand and asking, gravely, "What would you say if your son wanted to wear this to school?" Dum-dum-DUM!

Recently vindicated kidnap, rape and torture victim Elizabeth Smart has taken a job at ABC News, according to The Daily Beast, where she'll be a regular contributor to Good Morning America, and possibly other properties. But her own nine-month child abduction nightmare is behind her, an ABC spokesperson assures; this is all about Smart focusing on new child abduction nightmares.

Patrice Wilson, CEO of Ark Music Factory and the man responsible for Rebecca Black, has had a busy week: He just premiered the music video of his newest artist, Lexi St. George, on Good Morning America. We spoke to him about the surprising success that's come from "Friday," the most-hated YouTube video of all time.

Former Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum — google "santorum" for more information — has had his crack team of presidential explorers run all the polls and crunch all the numbers that still show him having no chance of winning the Republican nomination and... decided to run anyway. Hooray!...??

Lady Gaga kicked off Good Morning America's Summer Concert Series today before a record crowd in Central Park. The spectacle wasn't without its technical difficulties, though, as Gaga failed to appear on stage until near the end of her opening number due to a stubborn zip-line.

Sheena Upton, the artist formerly known as Botox Mom Kerry Campbell, tricked Good Morning America into paying $10,000 to a "British booker" for her made-up story. Now GMA wants its money back.

Botox Mom Kerry Campbell has released a sworn statement saying her attention-grabbing, Good Morning America-baiting scandal was a hoax!

Remember that terrible mother who said she gives Botox and "virgin waxes" to her 8-year-old daughter to improve her chances at beauty pageants? Good Morning America tracked her down. Apparently Kerry Campbell—an aesthetician who regularly injects botulims into her daughter's face—is real, and says she's doing nothing wrong.

In your hijacked Friday media column: Tina Brown has breasts and used to do it, sexually speaking, to Martin Amis; the Washington Post Co. falls from the profit curve; Robin Roberts may or may not be too tall for morning television, and Howard Kurtz once again acquits himself with the dignity and effortless charisma we've come to expect from him.

The Guardian has a big fat profile of MSNBC's Rachel Maddow today and the most interesting part is that she basically tells every news anchor who isn't out of the closet to just tell the world already. Yeah, that means you, Andy Coop.

This morning the crew at GMA brought news that America's shelves will soon stock a new doll, already a hit in Spain, that teaches young girls how to breastfeed. Offensive to some, but even more offensive is the $89 price tag.

GMA featured a pre-taped Britney Spears concert to promote her new album "Femme Fatale." She also announced she would be touring with Enrique Iglesias this summer. Admittedly, her dancing skills aren't what they used to be but maybe she just needs to start wearing sensible dancing shoes!

It shouldn't be surprising that Steve Irwin chose to name his daughter after two different animals that he loved. This morning GMA caught up with the young girl to see how she's been following in her daddy's footsteps.

Billy Ray Cyrus was on Good Morning America this morning to talk about the GQ article that got him in hot water, and how fame has changed his family.

A gleeful Chris Brown galavants around town after breaking Good Morning America's window. 50 Cent gives Chelsea Handler a backhanded compliment. Hugh Hefner's fiancee may already be cheating. Wednesday gossip shakes its haters off.