There's no better way to attract customers to your delightfully anachronistic manual car wash than girls in bikinis. Oh, you live in an area surrounded by Star Wars freaks? Well just add some Princess Leia slave costumes and voila!

Two attractive girls decide to get drunk, so what's a guy to do? Bust out a video camera and trick one of them into eating a heaping tablespoon of cayenne pepper, of course. She is not pleased.

Dolls aimed at girls tend to involve either babies or beautification. The creators of these dolls embraced those themes, but took them a step further. Maybe too far.

Are Halloween costume makers getting more and more inappropriate by the year, or are young girls actually getting sluttier? Either way, we're not pleased about it. [Whole gallery of disturbing little girl costumes at Blogue]

Fox News' Alisyn Camerota screwed up a throw on Fox & Friends this morning, causing Steve Doocy and Brien Kilmeade to cross swords when Doocy read Kilmeade's copy. So Kilmeade asked, "Why do we have women on the show?"

Is it sexist to think that an ad with a vampire with tampons for teeth is just nasty? I don't think so, but I'm sexist. Click through to absorb this one, soak it in, etc:

Did you know: it's sexist to use sports metaphors, because, as we all know, girls don't understand sports. It's true, according to a girl!

Cosmo, the sassy, sexy source of sex secrets he's too scared to tell you, is going to an incredible amount of effort to promote its August issue: the magazine is trying to break the Guinness World Record for "most people photographed on a beach in a bikini." The old record? 1,010 girls on a beach in Australia, set last year by... Cosmo! Good to see they have a hobby. They need 1,200 "chicks 18-34" to show up on Miami's South Beach next Friday, so start hitchhiking now! You'll get a free Old Navy bikini, "style to depend on available quantity and selection." Unfortunately swimsuit photos appeal primarily to straight men, who don't buy Cosmo anyways, so this is all a big waste of time. After the jump, photos of the last record, which is still perfectly good and pointless if you ask us:

Girls... who dress casually! They're called Urbane Tomboys and they're suddenly everywhere! Our own Jezebel Moe is one! She drinks beer and swears! We learned all about this exciting new trend of girls who only wear a little bit of makeup in today's Observer. We hope someday to leave the Upper East Side for the very first time and actually see one of these bizarre boy-girl hybrids in their natural environs. [NYO]

What do you get when you combine the stylish functionality of a bulletproof vest, the alarming increase in the ubiquity of advertising messages, and a thinly-veiled appeal to male lechery? You get the brilliant new "Wearable Video Video Vest," a DYNAMIC concept that DEMANDS attention. If you wear it they WILL watch. The only problem is that the bulky black thingamajig conceals the figure of whatever poor young female intern your ad agency has roped into toting it around at parties while portly older men leer. Pictures from the company's own promo site make the underlying purpose of this groundbreaking annoyance technology very clear:

Hey! Did you know the Palm Centro is only $99 with rebate and a 2 year service extension? BUT! And you know what's included? Making your friends feel bad about themselves. (FYI: In the zero sum game of friendship, this means making you love you more!) In the billboards that I annoyingly see everywhere, a text message reads, "Jen, it's 80's night. You won't even have to change!" And: "Hey Amanda, It's chubby night at Union Pool! You don't even have to gain weight!"

After years of some of our least favorite stories, Times Style-boy Allen Salkin has redeemed himself by introducing us to Bella Sara, "an imaginative, joyful world of horses, where every girl is special and uniquely beautiful"—from the creators of Magic the Gathering and Pokémon. It's literally just what I've been waiting for ever since my mom threw away all my Spawn pogs!

Lesley Jane Seymour used to edit Marie Claire. The people at Hearst made her stop doing that around this time last year, and now someone else is editing it. Today she wrote a piece for the New York Times metro regionals sections about her 11-year-old daughter Lake and her friends. The piece is about how much the girls love to go shopping, and what they're like when they walk around a fancy mall in Westchester.

You know, the good thing about weekends is it gives you time to relax. To unwind, to stretch your legs a little, and also maybe your word count a bit. But what to do with that extra space and freedom? Recently we've noticed that the New York Times has taken to filling the weekend void with poetic, allusive, hyper-detailed descriptions of underage girl-bodies that seem, well, just this side of yucky. Don't believe it? Read on.