Let me just preface everything here by saying that, as someone who is dumb enough to still subscribe to Entertainment Weekly, I deserve pretty much everything I get. In the age of affordable tablets and comprehensive pop culture sites like the AV Club and Vulture, anyone still paying $50 a year for Entertainment Weekly just so they have something to read at the gym is a moron. I get all that. Your scorn is accepted and understood.

Anyone concerned that the upcoming Olympics would focus too much on sports and not enough on haute couture fashion can breathe a sigh of relief – the roster of performers for the closing ceremony was revealed Monday, and Kate Moss is prominently featured.

Man with a hat and Good Times alum Jimmie J.J. Walker is shilling a memoir, so CNN had him on recently. During the interview, he expressed his stance against gays being able to get married.

Wes Anderson's follow-up to Moonrise Kingdom will be titled The Grand Budapest Hotel, and is set to star Johnny Depp in his debut role for the famed indie auteur.

At last night's exhibition game between the American and Brazilian basketball teams, First Couple Barack and Michelle Obama were thrust into the long and storied tradition of forced Public Display of Affection when they appeared on the Verizon Center's Kiss Cam.

New Yorker editor David Remnick, who really is a mighty fine journalist in his own right and who has shepherded his magazine through an extended period of excellence, is a man whose opinions on matters journalistic should be paid heed. Except for his opinion about that twee little pastry fetishist Francophile yuppie shit, Adam Gopnik.

After seeing one too many stock shots of bright umbrellas bobbing down a rainy street, Malcolm Bell, a British tourism official and head of VisitCornwall.com, snapped.

Depending on which outlets you read, Sage Stallone, who was found dead yesterday, was a passionate, outgoing film enthusiast with immediate plans to marry his girlfriend.

Even if you're not a fan of Bruce Springsteen or Paul McCartney — really, though? You should have that checked out — you can appreciate the massive insult here.

Danielle Radcliffe, who made his fortune teaching children that they can accomplish great things if only they have the good fortune to be accepted into a prestigious school of witchcraft and wizardy, has now resorted to terrorizing them.

The inspiration for Walt Disney World's Rock 'n' Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith, Steven Tyler, announced Thursday he's leaving his post as a judge on American Idol.

Both landing a job and finding a way to fulfill sexual fantasies can be difficult things to do. Sadly, after writing a bomb threat on the back of his restaurant job application, a man in Nebraska is no closer to achieving either goal.

While Oprah Winfrey may seem, like an endless forest or a mighty river, to be something that always has been and always will be, it turns out she actually does have parents. One of them is getting divorced. His second wife says he tried to kill her.

SoHo club Greenhouse has been closed since the June 14 bottle-throwing fight in its basement lounge, W.i.P. Brown. You know, the brawl Drake or Chris Brown or someone else entirely might have started.

Katie Holmes was allegedly granted primary "physical" custody of Suri, according to reports on the private divorce settlement she and Tom Cruise reached earlier today.

The Telegraph reports that a group of nerds from the University of Leicester have ruined Batman for a different, much larger group of nerds by proving with "science" that Batman couldn't have used his cape to glide from the tops of tall buildings, as he is often depicted doing in non-documentary films and television shows.

Cyclist and rubber bracelet artisan Lance Armstrong filed a federal lawsuit and requested a restraining order against the United States Anti-Doping Agency (USADA) on Monday, to prevent its punishing him for doping violations that could cost him his seven Tour de France titles.

R&B superstar Usher's 11-year-old stepson Kile Glover has been declared brain dead following a jet ski accident that left him in critical condition on Friday, according to TMZ.

On Tuesday Brad Pitt's hometown paper published a hyper conservative letter-to-the-editor from his mom that stopped just short of identifying Barack Hussein Obama as a Muslim terrorist. Now his close personal friends (everyone on the Internet) cannot stop gossiping about it.

For those of you who have missed him, America's favorite pizza guy Herman Cain is back— in exactly the way you'd expect him to be. Cain launched his new online channel, CainTV, patriotically on July 4th (for an apt sampling, check out this trailer).