In your tendentious Tuesday media column: W magazine names its new editor, The Onion gets a TV show, haters be hating on Christiane Amanpour, and a win for Brian Tierney, newspaper champion.

Yes, like her hero, Palin is going on reality TV. Plus: A new Scream movie, another interesting HBO project, lots of pilot news, and we officially have our Captain America.

Uhhh, clearly California legislators have not been studying our list of Places People Can Always Smoke, No Takebacks. They're now trying to outlaw smoking at state parks and at beaches. Is there no smokin' nature left?

[Mayor Bloomberg gives his best "shut the hell up" face as David Patterson prattles on about some crazy thing at the opening of Brooklyn Bridge Park in Brooklyn today. Image via Getty]

The likable, coltish actress has just won an Oscar but all anyone can talk about is hissy Jesse James gossip. So let's take a moment to discuss not her marital woes, but how she can keep the career buzz going.

The Naomi Campbell Contrition Tour 2010 continues with an interview in The Mail on Sunday's Live magazine where she says she has grown up and learned her lesson about punching the help. Sure you have, lady. Sure you have.

It's true, he's wonderful. Plus: Everybody wants to go ask Alice, a kiddie flick surprises, an Iraq movie does not, and we talk a little bit about monkeys.

His cousin is officially a Scientologist—but terrified of being associated with Tom. Lady Gaga's sister trains to take the stage. Bombshell McGee sells stripper videos. Phil Spector gets beat up in prison. Come and get your Sunday gossip.

I am of two minds on the upcoming iteration of Bravo's moneymaker. We don't really need more housewives—but Beverly Hills is so perfect for this franchise, and Kelsey Grammer's Playboy trophy wife has been waiting so patiently.

[Jenyne Butterfy practiced her pole dancing routine last night before performing in the U.S. Pole Dance National Championship in Manhattan today. Image via Getty]

Padma Lakshmi's new baby, Krishna, is only a month old, but she's already charming like an adult. "She's very independent and very funny. She's a good communicator and is very witty already," she tells People. Why worry about crawling first?

The Grey's Anatomy star can't stay dressed! Details about the tattooed lady Sandra Bullock's husband slept with. George Clooney is a generous voter. The Paula Abdul Star Search deal is off. Friday's gossip is working on its farmer's tan.

[White House press secretary Robert Gibbs held his daily press briefing in the Rose Garden today. It's like on the first day of spring when your Social Studies teacher took the class outside. Image via Getty]

Word came this morning that two networks, A&E and Discovery, are fighting over quitting governor Palin's proposed reality series about her native homeland, the Alaska. Which she would host. If this thing actually goes to air, what'll it be like?

In your laughable Thursday media column: Roger Ailes calls for unity, Brandon Holley lives the lonely life online, W's editor is leaving, and so are some editors at Harper's.

It's time for more excerpts from 2010's most backstabbing tell-all book, The Best of Friends [sarcasm!]: Martha and Me by Mariana Pasternak. Today: Martha's frenemy mocks Martha's calculating interactions with Anthony Hopkins, Richard Meier, and Billy Tauzin.

Your daily racist WTF: A New Jersey Wal-Mart is "reviewing security tapes" after someone used the intercom to calmly announce, "Attention Wal-Mart customers: All black people leave the store now." They have since apologized. [NBC via flugennock]

[This reveler overdid it a bit on the flair at the St. Patrick's Day Parade along Fifth Ave today. We're sure he didn't skimp on the Guinness afterward either. Image via Getty]

A tipster sent us the proposal for One Nation Under Sex, Larry Flynt's forthcoming history of White House coitus. And it's not bad! Did you know that "George Washington was a famous swordsman in more ways than one"?

Pornographer-scholar Larry Flynt is writing a "sweeping account of how the sex lives of American presidents have had a tangible effect on American policy." Was Benjamin Harrison's timidity on civil service reform related to gonorrhea? Probably! We'll soon find out.