A judge ruled today that the city can enforce a zoning law that could shut down a number of smut emporia. The dozens of people who haven't figured out how to buy porn on the internet are devastated! [Getty]

The pop music thingamajig is the top target for the film's producers to ink and sing the ditty for the franchise. Be careful, she might try to change the title to "Skipaldeedoo Gobbeldygook" to fit her lyrics.[Getty]

Scared of getting Alzheimer's? Just guzzle some "relaxation drink," eat a "horseshoe sandwich," and wobble on the Wii. You'll forget all about it. It's time for your daily health watch, where we watch your health—dangerously!

[Despite recent rumors, Nicolas Sarkozy and his wife Carla Bruni-Sarkozy looked quite happy leaving Columbia University today, where the French president gave a speech to students. Image via Getty]

Today Ricky Martin dropped a crazy truth bomb on the world and acknowledged he is a "homosexual man." Yeah, duh! But he's not the only public figure still hiding—unsuccessfully—in the glass closet.

Richard Melville Hall—also known as Moby—is the subject of today's New York Times' "Sunday Routine" column, in which he guzzles açaí juice-almond milk-spirulina smoothies, evangelizes for organic Silver Needle white tea, and fakes Asperger's.

Sprayed-in-the-face caption contest starts now. Click image to enlarge. [Image via Getty]

CNBC anchor Maria Bartiromo has dropped her trademark on incessant nickname "Money Honey." Now that it's gone, we kind of miss fun Wall Street, if only because Wall Street 2 is going to be such a snore. [NYPost, Pic: Getty]

Let's take a look back at the Gawker week that was, from health care to Sandra Bullock to drugs.

[Fashion chancellor Karl Lagerfeld is held aloft in a crane while shooting the new Chanel campaign on the Lower East Side. Image via Getty]

In your counterfeit Friday media column: Rupert Murdoch launches the first volley in the new paywall wars, ABC News employees face a buyout deadline, Forbes loses a key editor, and Variety throws a hissyfit.

Apple's iPad could make it the king of old media, arbiter of taste and technology alike. So magazines and newspapers have begun a series of countermoves that could turn the quietest dogfight in media into the most vicious.

[A car with a very, um, distinctive paint job traveled the streets of London today. Who doesn't love a good poo sight gag? Image via Getty]

In your copacetic Thursday media column: a Russian tycoon buys a British paper, a new NYT White House correspondent, John Carney is let go, and newspapers in general had the worst year everrrrrrr last year.

A flattering profile of ubiquitous party photographer Patrick McMullan in today's New York Times pins the secret of success on the fact that he treats the social crowd so well. Then why is he charging to take down unflattering photos?

[Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and Pakistani Foreign Minister Makhdoom Shah Mehmood Qureshi practically need to get a room as this series of photos, taken at a press briefing at the Department of State today, attests. Image via Getty]

After repeatedly denying she was, as Andy Cohen put it, swimming in the lady pond, Kim Zolciak opened up to Life & Style magazine about her relationship with gay circuit DJ Tracy Young. Does Big Poppa like threeways? [Getty]

Private security mercenaries shot and killed a Somali pirate who tried to jack a ship off the African coast yesterday. And "International navies have killed about a dozen pirates over the past year." Where is the love? [WSJ]

Is Reggie Bush sexist, or is he just tired of being Kim's prop or photo op? Zoe Saldana is sick of losing roles for being black. Michelle McGee's fetish videos include spiders, goo, and dolls. Wednesday gossip is feeling queasy.

Charges against Al Sharpton's ex-wife and daughter for allegedly cussing at cops during a traffic stop have been dismissed. The New York Post reserves the right to continue charging them with being related to Al Sharpton. [NYP]