Bruno's Straight Man? A report this morning suggests Sacha Baron Cohen did not visit yesterday's Yes on 8 rally as the flamboyant firebrand Bruno, but rather as the comic's newer, closeted character Straight Dave. While that would no doubt explain his mall-refugee threads, confusion persists about the language barrier that would influence Straight Dave's placard to reject gay marriage "even zough zey're nice." And that is Bruno's Milan-crashing coiffure. Yes? No? Make your voice heard — the issues can wait. [Filmdrunk via Spout Blog]

In Pershing Square yesterday, Defamer stood alongside fellow Californians waging war against the evil Prop 8, hoisting placards and cheering wildly as passing vehicles (including city buses and cop cars) honked their support for equal civil rights for all. Meanwhile, at a Yes on 8 rally outside City Hall, none other than Austrian fashion journalist and trendspotter Brüno had infiltrated the scene. (Amazingly, The Sun once again reports he was there to shoot footage for "Brüno: Delicious Journeys Through America for the Purpose of Making Heterosexual Males Visibly Uncomfortable in the Presence of a Gay Foreigner in a Mesh T-Shirt," our own parody title that simply refuses to die.) People reports that once Sacha Baron Cohen was discovered, his "own camera crew worked to shield him. Eventually, he was escorted away inside a van"—the suspiciously swishy hunter became the hunted! We salute what must have been an incredibly difficult decision for Bruno to wear Dockers, a Men's Warehouse shirt, and no hair product in order to blend with the unfabulous crowd more efficiently. More photos after the jump:

The big weekend box office for High School Musical 3 proves that Disney knows not to mess with a winning thing, and why should it? The series's profitable formula (40% Bollywood chastity, 35% 'N Sync b-sides, and 25% total gayness) has paid off in spades. Perhaps, then, the threat of tinkering with this equation was what Disney had in mind when they cut what was apparently a Zac Efron-led musical sequence in a boys' group shower (!), the existence of which came to light after an Ebay seller included pictures of the number in a cache of HSM3 photos. What cinematic contribution to homoerotica was lost when a cruel executive axed "Lather Up, Y'all"? Gaze upon the additional pictures after the jump, and muse upon what might have been.

An All Gays edition: · We were kind of hoping Alan Ball would throw us a bone by way of some hot all-man, V-juiced action, but instead we got Lafayette getting busy with Milton from Office Space. [True Blood] · Sam Jackson wants these motherfucking civil rights abusers off his motherfucking gay marriage legislation! · 90210 hunk Dustin Milligan wrote a very thoughful and sweet apology on his blog in reference to an internet sketch in which he called Elvis the "King of Homos." ("No one should be made to feel like they or their sexuality/lifestyle is synonymous with 'stupid,' and no one should be made to feel like they are less than anyone else because of who they love.") We also learned from his website bio that he hails from Yellowknife, Northwest Territories. 9021O Canada! · Here they are, boys: Cosmopolitan's 25 Sexiest Men list! We didn't make it again. · And finally: the new Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince trailer. Gay wizards galore!

82-year-old national treasure—in France, but whatever, France is a nation—Jerry Lewis has gone to Australia with his new stage extravaganza. It's a throwback to the good old days of variety shows, incorporating "show tunes with a 24-piece band, excerpts from his scores of movies and television shows, and his trademark slapstick comedy." (How a very realistic-looking prop glock fits into all this we do not know.) Asked at a press conference if he had any plans to retire or take a break, the comedian joked, "A break? No, why? You got something better to do?...Don't you understand that when you croak, it's for a ve-e-e-e-ry long time." Amid hearty nods of approval, he was then asked what he thought of the sport cricket, which elicited a regrettable dropping of the dreaded pink F-bomb:

· That's why you need the Zyliss Ultra Peeler: Your lady will barely be able to keep her hands off your kiwis! · These two delightful finds—one featuring nothing but inverted canines, the other, a gallery of impressively morbid creations using chicken bones, KFC containers, and ketchup—do nothing but reconfirm our love of the Internets. [All via b3ta] · We found an actor willing to go on record in support of Proposition 8: Latin heartthrob Eduardo Verástegui. Enjoy having terrible hair and makeup and looking fat in jeans for the rest of your career, Eduardo! (Wily stylists.) [Guanabee] · Tears For Fears's Curt Smith will be playing the third of four dates at the Standard Hollywood's Cactus Lounge tonight at 7 p.m. An intimate, free evening with your high school fantasy boyfriend! How can you pass that up? Here's "Head Over Heels: Literal Video Version" to get you warmed up, from the guys who brought you "Take On Me: LVV." (Not as good as the last one, but whatever—it's also free.) · Does Chace Crawford have a hamburger for you!

Nothing on the fall TV schedule has captured our imaginations more than a tiny, as-yet-untitled program to recently premiere on YouTube, which we informally refer to around Defamer HQ as The William Shatner Has Seriously Lost His Fucking Mind Show. Accompanied by dutiful daughter Liz—the product, it's widely rumored, of a one-beam-stand with a hot little green number from Orion—Shatner has moved on from obsessing over his snubbing from the new Star Trek movie, and now has an entirely new rebuff to fixate on: his exclusion from the George Takei-Brad Altman nuptials.While he enters the conversation with almost Vulcan-like logic (his former Star Trek co-star, whom he "barely knows" but desperately wishes he could have tossed fistfuls of rice at, suffers from acute psychosis-induced jealousy), things quickly start to devolve around the two-minute mark. It's at that point that Shatner begins to drift off to the outer realms, where not even the most up-to-date Universal Translators would be able to untangle his meandering theories on what might have been eating at the bridge's furtively Redshirt-lusting lieutenant all these years.

Though the sight of Princess Leia in a gold bikini could make any gay geek question his sexuality, being married to Carrie Fisher apparently had the opposite effect on CAA superagent Bryan Lourd. The two were together for three years (he fathered Fisher's daughter Billie in 1992) before Lourd famously left Fisher for another man. Now, in her new memoir Wishful Drinking, Fisher claims that Lourd blamed her and her pill-popping ways for making him gay. Page Six has the excerpt:

It's often said that gays are on the cutting edge of most trends, but when it comes to defeating California's Proposition 8 (which would thwart the same-sex marriage laws enacted this summer), most out celebrities have fallen pitifully behind their straight allies. The first high-wattage Hollywood name to donate to the "No on 8" name was Brad Pitt, whose $100,000 donation was quickly matched by Steven Spielberg. Now, after straight B and C-listers including Pete Wentz and Chelsea Handler gave money to fill the gay gap, The Advocate brings word that Grey's Anatomy power-gay T.R. Knight has finally become the first high-profile out star to contribute to the cause. So who's still missing?Perhaps the most notable M.I.A. gay is Ellen DeGeneres, who has sounded off about Prop 8 on the talk show circuit, but has yet to donate to the cause (though she did find time to host a fundraiser for the animal rights-advocating Prop 2). Other gay mafiosos like Portia DeRossi, Rosie O'Donnell, and Elton John are still nowhere to be found on the donations list, while behind-the-scenes gay talents like Gus Van Sant and Bryan Singer are missing, too (for that matter, straight allies like Jay Leno and Julia Louis-Dreyfus have advocated against the proposition but have yet to put their money where their mouths are). Their inaction comes after Tuesday's announcement that contrary to earlier reports, Proposition 8 is ahead in the polls and likely to pass next month, dealing a massive blow to the gay marriage cause. Backed by religious forces, the "Yes on 8" financial war chest has far exceeded that of the organizations working to defeat the proposition. Ohio entrepreneur Jonathan Lewis has challenged Hollywood power players to donate, promising that he and his family will match the contributions dollar for dollar — though the only notable gay figure to donate since was Angels in America playwright Tony Kushner, who gave $15,000. Hey, Ellen? Pretend it's adorable puppies who can't get married. Got a dime to spare? [Photo Credit: AP]

Simply reinforcing our long-held theory that anyone who works in Hollywood—regardless of age, gender, or genitalia size—has at least one gay porn credit buried somewhere in their resumes, it's been brought to our attention that a boldface name in yesterday's Trade Roundup also got his start in this town's storied sausage factory circuit. Find out who after the jump:

A new campaign launched today by the Advertising Council and the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network seeks to educate American youth about the power of words to hurt—particularly when those words are: "That's," followed by "so gay." Joining them in their crusade is the extremely so-gay Wanda Sykes, and the not-so-gay-but-so- gay-worshipped Hilary Duff. They star in two PSAs (both after the jump) in which they casually saunter up to some pricky teenagers, and point out that calling something gay—when they don't mean it in the "fabulous" or "matter-of-factly enjoys engaging in sex with someone possessing similar genitalia" senses of the word—is just plain wrong. Its heart is in the right place, but we think the campaign would have been more successful had it suggested a less-destructive replacement expression, like—oh, we don't know—"That's so Seacresty," or "That's so Track."

We're not sure whether Julia Louis-Dreyfus is angling for a "guest actress on a talk show" Emmy that doesn't exist, but she's certainly put in game performances over the past week, whether she's enlisting in the Letterman/McCain War or stealing from Tina Fey on the advice of a mischievous Conan O'Brien. Louis-Dreyfus's latest target was The Ellen DeGeneres Show, and she smoothly changed promotional gears to talk about the newest storyline on her sitcom The New Adventures of Old Christine, which finds her character entering into a gay marriage with Wanda Sykes to help the latter stay in the country (even though immigration is a federal issue that California's same-sex marriage laws can't circumvent). Naturally, Ellen had a few Prop 8-related words to say on the subject — though, Ellen? Money talks, too. [The Ellen DeGeneres Show]

Do you recall the Great Keening of September 24, as if a million Claymates cried out at once, and then were silenced? That was the dark day that American Idol alum Clay Aiken broke the devastating news that he was, in fact, a "gay," sending his dumbstruck fans into a tailspin (as NClayolina memorably put it, "I will never be able to listen to him sing, 'O Holy Night,' knowing he desires unholy nights"). Now, as the tears on so many Garfield pillowcases begin to dry, Aiken has finally blogged to his fans about the revelation, and instead of self-flagellating, he has one polite message for the Claymates: "Deal with it."

After offending gays, Asians, and audiences with its ignoble release last summer, the Adam Sandler gay marriage vehicle I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry has found itself back in the news this week with equally confounding results. According to the Washington Post (via Videogum), new legislation that could provide employee benefit programs to the partners of gay federal employees is under siege thanks to Office of Personnel Management deputy director Howard C. Weizmann, who cites the Sandler movie as reason enough not to put the plan into action:

The boys of Gossip Girl grace the cover of November's issue of Details, and inside, they recount the indignities they are forced to endure as professional thespians (such as avoiding paparazzi or shaving their tween-intimidating chest hair). None of the Gossip trio has it harder than pretty pony Chace Crawford, however, whose protestations that he's more than simply an actor/model are ignored by lascivious writer Mark Harris ("Perhaps you've seen [Crawford] shirtless and treasure-trailed for Abercrombie & Fitch" — perhaps we haven't, Mark!). Unfortunately for Crawford, there's one obstacle he may never overcome, and it's an affliction that is common in young men with Diesel jeans and a gym membership to Crunch:

Appletinis for Everyone: He's known as a tomcatting party boy, but at Wednesday's Outfest Legacy Awards, NBC topper Ben Silverman told the audience he had a confession to make (after first confirming that industry gossip Nikki Finke was nowhere to be found). “I debated whether or not to say this, as I am a bit of a press target," he began tentatively, cradling the "Outtie" award he accepted on behalf of NBC Universal. The well-heeled gay audience craned forward; was Ryan Seacrest's best pal "Beijing Ben" about to come out of the closet? Might this explain all those suspiciously well-informed WeHo jokes Silverman had made on KISS-FM? “No, it’s not me,” he continued. “But my mother is gay.” Silverman then got back to work on his latest fall revamp: Kath & Kim & Gay Bubbe. [The Advocate]

As rumors circulate that Condoleezza Rice was passed up for John McCain's vice presidential slot due to questions about her sexuality, her film portrayer Thandie Newton sat down for an interview with gay magazine The Advocate. The actress, who is playing Rice in Oliver Stone's election-tipping presidential fantasia W., said that she herself doesn't believe Rice is a lesbian — and it's too bad, because Newton has the same-sex experience that could have informed such a role:

Get Used To It: Just when we thought we were done with today's People-led insurrection of the Claymates, this post from "NClayolina" pulls us back in: "I will never be able to listen to [Clay Aiken] sing, 'O Holy Night,' knowing he desires unholy nights." [The Clayboard]

While not everyone is surprised by Clay Aiken's decision to come out of the closet (speaking to Extra, Simon Cowell said dryly, "It's like being told Santa Claus isn't real"), there is one sort of person who's had to take the workday off to burn Anthropologie candles and listen to "Bridge Over Troubled Water" on repeat, and she is the "Claymate." Aiken's most ardent fans are predictably in a lather about the revelation, with reactions running the gamut of the Kübler-Ross cycle of grief (albeit with more emoticons).

Now that America has had time to process yesterday's shocking bombshell that Clay Aiken is gay (and now that Debbie from accounting has gotten her breathing under control), People magazine has released excerpts from their exclusive cover interview. In it, Aiken discusses coming out to his mother four years ago, a rocky experience that may have prepared him for the real hurdle: weathering reaction from millions of hysterical Claymates.