Completely unsubstantiated but thrilling rumors from the mailbag! "My coworker's girlfriend was just told not to come to work at a Union Square gift booth b/c they are evacuating and roping off the whole area b/c of mysterious white powder." You heard the email box: WHITE TERROR POWDER DRIFTS INTO XMAS SHOPZONE! XMAS CANCELED! NO ADORABLE SWEATERS FOR RUDOLPH, COMET, CUPID!
From the mailbag: "Has it occurred to anyone over there at Gawker that New York City is not interesting anymore? Hell, I grew up next door and thought it was the greatest place in the world. That was 62 years ago. I think a lot of your stuff is funny, but really, the only time I look at your site is when I have my lap top on my lap while I'm taking a shit. Poor New Yorkers. Past Tense!"
Breaking! Press release reveals sassy, matching cougar/canine fashion at local Sex and the City movie shoot! "FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Kim Cattrall and her pooch are stylish in matching Nancy Gonzalez during the filming of Sex and the City
December 17th, 2007 - Kim Cattrall stepped out on the streets of Los Angeles while filming a scene from Sex and The City carrying a Nancy Gonzalez handbag. Kim Cattrall' s dog is wearing a one of a kind matching Nancy Gonzalez collar and leash made especially by the designer for the dog."
From the mailbag: "Bomb disposal unit"! Broadway and 51st Street! People in that vicinity are "complaining they can't get lunch"!
From the inbox:
From the mailbag: "some girl just had her purse stolen outside my window on 11th and A at 12:30am. there are so many loud teens in this neighborhood and drunk people at this time of night when she was screaming 'give it back fucker!' i didn't think anything of it until i looked out the window and realized what had happened, as she ran in her heels and continued screaming and running after the guy as he ran down towards avenue D. please post this. all of these rich girls and bankers really need to know they're still not safe over here. please move somewhere safer so the rents don't go any higher and landlords will stop harrassing rent stabilized tenants." You head the man, kids. Stop bugging the old people with your carrying-on and being victims of street crime at all hours!
A T.V. pal of ours says layoffs were expected this week at the Oxygen network. And now our inbox says: "Someone just told me that everyone got canned today." Ruh roh?
So, per our mailbag, they're reshooting Carrie and Big's "summer wedding" scene today, "probably in Bryant Park." Extras were supposed to get there at 8. Hustle and maybe you will catch the most significant bouquet of all time!
Ah! Someone named Peter W Knox actually went to Emily and Michelle's Totally Awesome Astoria Potluck and lived to blog about it: "There was a lot of drinking (they keep pasta sauce right on top of their ice cube trays in ziploc bags, which is why the ice tasted funny), and the girls laughed a lot and rolled around on the floor. They had met each other six years ago at a Halloween party that they had both attended dressed up as prostitutes, Emily going as far as to paint dried semen on her face, a moment captured on camera and displayed with pride." Amazing.
From the mailbag:"The cops shut down Beatrice last night around midnight. No one really knew why. One of the bouncers thought it was noise complaints. The buzz in the crowd was the NYC cabaret law." Since drunken weaving doesn't count as dancing and because when people are coked out they tend to think everything has to do with NYC Cabaret laws, we're going with the bouncer's theory.
From the mailbag: "Today is Cosmo's 50 Hottest Bachelors day in the Hearst building. They were all in the cafeteria at lunch, wearing matching black t-shirts and sequestered off to the side, like cattle but with more hair gel. They were hanging over the partition scoping out the fashion girls, while all the older business-y types continued to eat their lunches and ignore them. Presume they are now off on other fun-filled events in the auditorium and around."
"Ok, some kind of crazy shit is up with Time Warner Cable. Last night my DVR completely wiped itself, causing me to lose the latest 'America's Next Top Model' AND 'Gossip Girl.' A cursory survey tells me that the same inexplicable DVR-wiping occurred to other friends at different points in the week. Other friends say their boxes (heh) have been stuttering and stopping, which mine did before the great DVR incident of 10/11/07. WATCH THE IMPORTANT SHIT ON YOUR DVRs PEOPLE. Conspiracy is afoot." Everyone is so bilious today!
"All the emergency lights are flashing on at least the newsroom floors of the New York Times. An announcement said there has been some kind of problem, and they are investigating the cause. The security system seemed totally messed up when people were coming in this morning. It doesn't seem all that serious though." THE FALCON CANNOT HEAR THE FALCONER, RENZO PIANO. Update: An announcement! "The alarm is false. Please resume normal activities. There is no need for evacuation."
From the mailbag: "In the off-chance she hasn't told you herself, New York magazine is doing a full-length (3000+ words) think piece on the splendor that is Julia Allison [with writer Stephen Rodrick]. It's completely unrelated to Vanessa Grigoriadis's Gawker feature, which is being considered for, but is unlikely to get, the next cover." *Shudder*
Brooklyn Heights was the scene of a terrible tragedy on Saturday night, when the shooting of the new Coen brothers movie with George Clooney and Brad Pitt at Clinton and State streets somehow took out the cable T.V. in local buildings. Reports a resident: With no T.V. to soothe the masses, the streets were filled with "throngs of otherwise too-good-for-celebrity stalking parents camped out with their children for a sighting. Street reporting revealed nobody had gotten one but I did spot one five or six year old boy, bent-legged on the sidewalk, head resting in his small hands and asleep. I'm calling child welfare...."
A recent visitor to groovy downhome Greenpoint restaurant Queen's Hideaway writes: "I was eating there this weekend. The back garden was full of kind of Greenpoint hipster. All of a sudden a mouse runs right across the pavement followed in quick pursui t by a cat. The cat caught the mouse and began toying with it. For 15 minutes, the cat batted around the little creature, inflicting non-life threatening but painful wounds. All the customers looked on in horror as the mouse was tortured ultimately to death. The waitress looked on apathetically. After the cat had lost interest and left the mouse to die on the pavement, someone asked, 'Can you please clean up the mouse?' And the waitress huffily responded, 'What do you want me to do? It's still kind of alive. I can't sweep him up.' Everyone just waited a few more minutes as the mouse died. Finally she swept the corpse away."
