The Libyan government today released three journalists — reporter Dave Clark and photographer Roberto Schmidt of AFP, and photographer Joe Raedle of Getty Images — after the three were captured by pro-Qaddafi forces on Saturday in eastern Libya, according to Agence France Presse.

Smoking is already banned in New York's restaurants and bars and its parks and public walkways. Now people are trying to ban smoking in your own damn home.

The story of a Northwestern University professor's Hot Live Fucksaw demonstration for ten dozen rapt college students has captivated the nation and, indeed, the world. After Northwestern prez Morton Schapiro vowed to keep investigating until he got all the way to the bottom of this fucksaw business, it was time for those directly involved in the handling and care of the fucksaw in question to speak out on what really happened in there. From the owner of the fucksaw:

Two Mississippi sisters were released from prison yesterday as part of their kidney-for-freedom deal.

Hide your children! Lock your doors! Lindsay Lohan is free again. Her court-ordered treatment for alcoholism ended today, and—despite early rumors to the contrary—she has been released. No word where she went or what she'll do next.

Mississippi governor Haley Barbour has commuted the life sentences of Jamie and Gladys Scott, two sisters who were convicted of armed robbery in 1994. With one small condition.

After intense wrangling, Florida Gov. Charlie Crist yesterday grabbed enough support from the state's Clemency Board to posthumously pardon The Doors' Jim Morrison for allegedly whipping out his "magnificent member" during a 1969 Miami concert/riot. Justice has been served.

Barack Obama got so sick of everyone bitching about him that he issued his first presidential pardons today, to nine world-famous murderers who'll eat the guts of every web commenter who types "GROW A PAIR, OBAMA" from now on. Seriously.

An Irish court has overturned the punishment that a college professor received—mandatory counseling and two years of monitoring—for showing a female colleague a scientific paper entitled "Fellatio by Fruit Bats Prolongs Copulation Time." And rightly so. [Irish Times]

British couple Paul and Rachel Chandler are free after being held hostage for a year by Somali pirates.

Burmese Nobel Peace Prize laureate Daw Aung San Suu Kyi—under house arrest for over seven years—was freed today, five days after the country's military junta held parliamentary elections. "We must unite!" she told supporters outside her home.

Wrestling fans of Connecticut, rejoice! A federal judge has ruled that voters can wear their favorite Stone Cold Steve Austin t-shirt to the polls when they vote for WWE goddess Linda McMahon, despite the diabolical liberal conspiracy to ban them.

In London promoting his new novel Freedom, Jodi Picoult's favorite author had his trademark spectacles stolen by party crashers, who left behind a $100,000 ransom note. They were apprehended soon after by a HarperCollins staffer who "gave chase."

Maximum penalty for possessing one ounce of weed in California: $100 fine, no criminal record.

In your disastrous Thursday media column: Philip Falcone cannot stop the media, a media reporter job is open now, a newspaper wants to see your tats, and the Boston Globe and Philly Inquirer are total wrecks, in separate ways.

Who's that old dude in this ad raising his arms triumphantly, to symbolize Mercedes-Benz's new gull-winged SLS AMG coupe? It's MLK himself, giving his famous speech, "I Have an Insanely Expensive Benz And You Don't, Bitches." Ah, history. [WaPo]

Sarah Shourd, one of the three Americans held captive in Iran, is on her way back to the U.S. today, and is scheduled to speak in New York tomorrow as Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad arrives for the UN General Assembly.

Pom, the maker of wildly expensive pomegranate juice products, is suing the Federal Trade Commission for infringing on Pom's First Amendment right to tell you, the consumer, any old thing about how great pomegranate juice is.

Freedom, the most groundbreaking book about white people since Jonathan Franzen's last book, isn't released until August 31. But Amazon.com reportedly put the whole thing online yesterday by accident. Anybody grab a copy? It's only newsworthy three more days. [Updated]

For those of you who were wondering: old men wearing camo halter tops and matching bikini bottoms will—repeat, will—be allowed to board planes, here in America. It's the land of the free. Duh. Larger pic is below.