• Francois Payard says he'll be forced to close his Upper East Side flagship (and lay off his 74 employees) if his landlord insists on doubling his rent. [Crain's]
• Daniel Boulud's DBGB held a preview last night for industry peeps and, sure enough, loads of industry types turned up. Commoners will get a chance to try out DB's latest venture when it opens to the public on June 8. [TFB, GS, Eater]
• Ipuddo, the EV ramen spot, gets one star from Bruni in today's Times. [NYT]
• Yama on Houston has closed; the lounge Stay caught fire last night. [Eater]
• A bunch of Hamptons bouncers have been busted for dealing drugs. [NYP]
• Nobu in London still serves endangered bluefin tuna because the chefs there insist on it. Or at least that's how Nobu GM Richie Notar explains it. [TFB]

• Frank Bruni explains why he's stepping down as the Times' restaurant critic; a GM details what it's like to constantly obsess about a NYT review. [NYT, Eater]
• Then again, the most coveted job in food comes with its downsides. [TFB]
• Michael White and Chris Cannon's Marea opens tonight. [GS]
• A sneak peek at Locanda Verde, which may open as soon as next week. [GS]
• A former manager at Justin Timberlake's barbecue joint, Southern Hospitality, has filed suit against the restaurant for sexual harassment. [NYDN]
• A look at Entwine, a new wine bar/lounge in the far West Village. [Gothamist]

• Frank Bruni will soon step down as the Times' chief restaurant critic. Who will replace him? Eater rounds up some of the faves as well as a bunch of unlikely picks, like Katie Lee Joel, who has a 475,000-1 shot of landing the gig. [Eater]
• Bruni's first appearance (second coming out?) after he steps down from the Times will be at the New York City Wine & Food Festival on Oct. 8. [GS]
• The UWS isn't the dining ghetto it once was thanks to the likes of Zak Pelaccio, Michael Huynh, Tom Valenti, Michael Psilakis, and Danny Meyer. [NYP]
• Start saving up: Marea, Michael White and Chris Cannon's temple of seafood, opens in the former San Domenico space on CPS tomorrow. [Eater]

New York Times restaurant critic Frank Bruni—the most powerful man in food, in his own way—is leaving the restaurant beat to become a writer-at-large for the NYT magazine. This memo just went out:

As expected, Frank Bruni is giving up his coveted gig as the New York Times' restaurant critic so he can hit the trail and promote his forthcoming book (and not have to do it behind a wig and sunglasses). Per the official memo: "Recognizing that the book is certain to seriously compromise his ability to be a spy in the land of food, Frank picked this as a natural time to move on. He will be turning in his restaurant-critic credentials when his memoir, "Born Round: the Secret History of a Full-Time Eater," is published in late August. After a break for book promotion and some overdue vacation, Frank will become a writer-at-large on the staff of our Sunday magazine..." The job hasn't been filled yet, by the way. Interested? Call 212-556-1234 and ask for Bill. [NYT, Gawker]

• Today in restaurant reviews: Frank Bruni gives Zak Pelaccio's new Fatty Crab two stars; the Post's Steve Cuozzo is pretty pleased with Josh DeChellis's La Fonda del Sol; and Jay Cheshes hits up Minetta Tavern. [NYT, NYP, TONY]
• The good news/bad news about the Cooper Square Hotel's Table 8. [Eater]
• Ryan Sutton on Monkey Bar: "A-listers and alcohol are the main event" while the "food is a simian sideshow." All things you knew, undoubtedly. [Bloomberg]
• It's what every chef dreams of: Tom Colicchio is on the new cover of Guitar Aficionado magazine. Yes, the mag exists and, yes, Tom loves guitars. [GS]
• It looks like the space once occupied by Florent/R&L will reopen as 69 Gansevoort Cafe shortly. It will probably remain a 24/7 diner, too. [Eater]
• NYC will look like LA pretty soon: A second Baja Fresh is on the way. [ML]

• Frank Bruni weighs in on David Burke's Fishtail in the Times this week, giving the eatery a single star for its "real charms" yet "deeply fatiguing" menu. [NYT]
• A look at the menu at Table 8, which opens tonight. [GS]
• Jay Cheshes hits up Silvano Marchetto's two new outposts in this week's Time Out, Scuderia and Da Silvano Bistecca. [TONY]
• Oprah's KFC sandwich giveaway sparked a riot today. [Gothamist, Gawker]
• Eight "new" rules on ordering wine while dining out. [NYP]
• "Real Housewife" Alex McCord's top food pics in Cobble Hill. [GS]
• Four Seasons co-owners Julian Niccolini and Alex von Bidder were roasted in honor of the eatery's 50th last night. Daniel Boulud on the duo: "The only thing these guys know about food is how much to charge for it." [NYT]

• A bunch of expensive restaurants are slated to open over the next few months. That kind of sucks for them, yes, although construction costs are down and rents are now negotiable, so it's not all bad news. Sort of. [NYT]
• Frank Bruni offers up his take on a bunch of "recession beaters" in today's Times, including Anthos Upstairs, Craft's DFF, and the lounge at Per Se. [NYT]
• Will swine flu finally kill the pork-belly trend? [GS]
• Despite the recession, steakhouses still seem full, says the Post's Steve Cuozzo, and Wagyu beef is still selling, "strangely." Strange, indeed. [NYP]
• Snapple is giving away free pizza from May 4 to May 7. [Slice]
• More immediately: 31-cent scoops at Baskin-Robbins tonight. [TFB]

• Yesterday's Post piece on restaurants charging for things like water and bread and butter provoked a wee bit of controversy. Frank Bruni thinks more restaurants should be charging for bread. And Bobo's Carlos Suarez would like you to know the water fee goes to charity, so simmer down. [NYT, GS]
• Sasha Petraske's Dutch Kills may open as soon as this Friday. [UD]
• The Beatrice Inn (which is still closed, FYI) has been vandalized. [Eater]
• The latest secret bar you'll hear a lot about, but will probably never visit in person: Bohemian, which requires a swipe key to get in, and is "tucked into the back of a building that used to belong to Andy Warhol," if that's any help. [GS]

• A roundup of what's opening this week and next month, too. [Eater, Eater]
• Terrance Brennan's Bar Artisanal and Steve Hanson's 675 Bar will probably turn into "the places to be during the Tribeca Film Festival," so you know. [GS]
• City Councilman Eric Gioia is proposing that fast food restaurants be prohibited from opening within a tenth of a mile of public schools. [NYT]
• A roundup of places to take your mom for Mother's Day. [Zagat]
• How do you know it's spring? The palm trees are in place at 230 Fifth. [NYT]
• Mi Cocina in the West Village has been seized and is now for rent. [Eater]
• Bruni takes a trip to Astoria and leaves Taverna Kyclade a happy man. [NYT]
• NYC has the best food in America, according to an opinion piece in Saturday's Wall Street Journal. But of course you already knew that, didn't you? [WSJ]

• Rumor has it that Gilt is doomed: "Employees are looking for new positions, services are being canceled, and the end is in sight." [TFB]
• Yesterday, Charles took a pounding from Times critic Frank Bruni. Today, the restaurant responded by covering up the windows with Bruni's review. [GS]
• Tom Colicchio appeared on Charlie Rose's show last night. [CharlieRose.com]
• The 50 best new restaurants, according to Travel + Leisure. [T+L]
• A roundup of eating options at the new Yankee Stadium. [GS]
• The IKEA in Brooklyn is turning Wednesdays into "$7.99 rib night." [Eater]
• Another thing to steer clear of: packaged sandwiches from Walgreen's. [ML]
• How did we not know that today was National Eggs Benedict Day? [GS]

• "If there's a restaurant out there that you love, visit it. Eat there. Especially if it's in the two-star or three-star category, where I sense some of the greatest vulnerability of all," advises a very sensible Frank Bruni today. [NYT]
• On a less serious (and more creative) note, Bruni manages to slap Charles with a zero-star review and poke fun at Graydon Carter in today's Times. [NYT]
• Mayahuel, the new tequila bar by Death & Co's Phil Ward, opens in May. [UD]
• Gordon Ramsay at the London may not be around for much longer. [TFB]
• Todd English's rep has confirmed he's out at the Libertine. [GS]
• It's Pera that is planning to take over the Bar Martignetti space. [Eater]
• Fast food has reinvented itself and is now cool again, just so you know. [NYP]

• It looks like Geoffrey Zakarian's Town has closed its doors. [GS]
• A roundup of other spots that have closed in the last couple of days. [Eater]
• More cheerful: This roundup of places slated to open next week. [TONY]
• Jim Lahey has a few, not-so-kind words for Times critic Frank Bruni, who had the audacity to award Lahey's Co. a single star earlier this week. [NYO]
• Why was the Beatrice Inn shuttered this week? It may have been the work of "haters" who "couldn't get in," explains Chloë Sevigny. [GS]

• The Four Seasons may be having its moment as it celebrates its 50th, but things aren't so cheery across the street. John McDonald and Josh Picard's Lever House closes on Friday, supposedly for "renovations." [TFB]
• Jim Lahey's Co. gets a one-star from Frank Bruni in today's Times. [NYT]
• The Post's Steve Cuozzo isn't blown away by Per Se's à la carte menu. [NYP]
• Restaurants & Institutions list of the 100 top-grossing restaurants is online. Tavern on the Green, Smith & Wollensky, Tao, Buddakan, and Sparks Steak House round out New York City's top five. [R&I]
• A roundup of what's opened this week, and what's coming soon. [NYT]

• Macao Trading Company is "silly" but "fun," says Frank Bruni, who translates that combo into a one-star review in the New York Times today. [NYT]
• A roundup of restaurants that have closed their doors in recent days. [Eater]
• Terrance Brennan of Picholine and Artisanal fame is planning to take over Trigo in Tribeca and turn it into Bar Artisinal. [GS, NYT]
• Ignazio's may give Grimaldi's a run for its money in Dumbo. [TONY]
• Ryan Sutton is not a fan of Giorgio Armani's restaurant inside his new store: "I doubt he's paid much attention at all to New York's culinary scene; otherwise he wouldn't have created such a laughably behind-the-times joint." [BN]
• Meet John and Kevin McCormick, the guys responsible for the peeling paint and rusting fixtures that typically accompany $34 entrees these days. [NYO]

If you come up short in a review by Times dining critic Frank Bruni, consider the bright side: You just may save yourself from a messy, three-year legal battle. In 2006, Tina Michelle Braunstein, a former bartender at David Barber's three-star Blue Hill at Stone Barns, filed suit against the restaurant, claiming she'd been the victim of sexual harassment and discrimination. The workplace unpleasantness increased considerably, she says, after her name was mentioned three times in Bruni's review of the restaurant, since the praise was none too appreciated by Philippe Gouze, Blue Hill's general manager. Braunstein's suit was filed three years ago, but Blue Hill tried to have the case dismissed, a motion that was denied by a judge late last week. Here's hoping the matter goes to court: There's always the off-chance Frank Bruni is forced reveal himself and take the witness stand. The judge's order is below.

• Bouley was on every critic's menu today: Frank Bruni handed it three stars ("only Daniel and Per Se give you quite the same feeling of giddy privilege"); the Post's Steve Cuozzo was extremely pleased ("heartstoppingly beautiful"); and TONY's Jay Cheshes was perfectly happy with the food, although he thought the service could have been a bit better. [NYT, NYP, TONY]
• Word has it that the new exec chef at Graydon Carter's Monkey Bar is Elliot Ketley, formerly of Soho House. Also: Not surprisingly, people who collect a paycheck from Carter think it's absolutely marvelous. [Gothamist, NYO]
• Per Se's new à la carte menu—revealed! [Eater]
• The best dive bar in NYC per Details? Jimmy's Corner on West 44th. [Details]
• A visit to Dutch Kills, the buzzed-about bar opening in Long Island City. [BB]
• Red wine increases the female libido, for your information. [Decanter]
• Rachael Ray will be at the 92Y tomorrow if you've got $27 to spare. [92Y]

• The Smile, Carlos Quirarte and Matt Kliegman's café/boutique on Bond Street, officially opened its doors today. One rare luxury: Regulars get their own custom-made, engraved Laguiole cutlery to use whenever they visit. [GS]
• Donatella Arpaia and Michael Psilakis's Kefi doesn't get much love from Frank Bruni: A case of "palate mononucleosis" leaves it with one star. [NYT]
• Dovetail is looking to open a café and food cart in Central Park. [Eater]
• Both Bloomberg's Ryan Sutton and Time Out's Jay Cheshes visit La Fonda Del Sol and leave with mixed feelings. [Bloomberg, TONY]
• Poll: New Yorkers prefer BLT Steak to Peter Luger by 53% to 47%. [TFB]
• Not surprisingly, the job market for chefs isn't exactly booming. [NYT]
• Also not surprising: Low-end liquor is really popular right now. [NYP]
• Amy Ruth's in Harlem has filed for bankruptcy protection. [Crain's]
• JGV's Spice Market in Doha, Qatar is now open, just so you know. [Luxist]

• A roundup of restaurants that may close in the near future if you don't do your part and patronize them. Like soon. Thanks for your cooperation. [CS]
• One thing to look forward at Keith McNally's revamped Minetta Tavern: A $26 Black Label burger that doesn't even come with fries. For shame! [TONY]
• Frank Bruni's thoughts on tipping: Never give less than 15% unless the service is "unequivocally dismal," but 17-18% if it's "above-average." [NYT]
• Speaking of tipping, ABC News's roundup of crappy celebrity tippers includes Madonna, Mariah, Gwyneth, and sushi addict Jeremy Piven. [ABC News]
• Tahini on Third Avenue has been closed by the Department of Health. [DBTH]
• Gordon Ramsay is having some money trouble, just so you know. [Gawker]
• Despite what the Times reported three weeks ago, going out to pricey lunches at places like Michael's and the Four Seasons is chic again. Yay. [AdAge]

• Pics inside the UWS branch of Zak Pelaccio's Fatty Crab, opening tonight. [GS]
• Time Out's Jay Cheshes says Ken Friedman and April Bloomfield's John Dory "is the best new restaurant I've visited so far this year." [TONY]
• The owners of Long Island City's Water Taxi Beach will be opening a beach bar/restaurant next to the South Street Seaport this summer. [Eater]
• Described as "fitfully enjoyable," "uneven" and "bold," Frank Bruni gives Gabe Thompson's L'Artusi one star out of four in the Times today. [NYT]
• Top Chef's Fabio Viviani is now pitching frozen pizza. [EMD]
• The L Magazine's third annual "Bar Awards" is now online. [L Mag]
• NYC's top paella place, Socarrat, is now serving lunch and delivering. [TONY]
• Paris's latest three-star chef, according to the new Michelin Guide? It just so happens to be Nicolas Sarkozy's favorite spot. Global food scandal! [Guardian]