Former NYT food critic Frank Bruni's big (eh) Nightline appearance is coming up. Its highlight: Bruni giving the full review treatment to a Choco Taco. No stars? Hey bro, I'll eat it. Watch the magic, below.

Frank Bruni is leaving the New York Times restaurant beat, but he's moving on to something even bigger: the Frank Bruni® beat. He's his own brand now! Brand You® is the NYT's highest reward. A list, we've made!

• In his next-to-last review for the Times, Frank Bruni upgrades Danny Meyer's Eleven Madison Park from three stars to four, making it Bruni's sixth four-star review in five years and making Daniel Humm, Eleven Madison Park's 32-year-old chef, an extraordinarily happy man, suffice it to say. [NYT]
• Related: Over on Diner's Journal, Bruni explains the big decision. [NYT/DJ]
• Other reviews this week: Time Out's Jay Cheshes gives Aureole four out of five stars; Restaurant Girl comes away from the Standard Grill very impressed; the Post's Steve Cuozzo is thrilled with the Standard Grill, too; and Bloomberg News's Ryan Sutton gives two stars out of four to SHO Shaun Hergatt.
• As rumored a few months back, the Sant Ambroeus team is taking over the former Lever House space and turning it into Casa Lever. [NYT]
• Todd English has signed on to oversee the kitchen at the Great Jones Hotel, a 13-story hotel that is currently under construction. [Eater]

• A few new restaurants scheduled open this week or next. [Gothamist]
• Expansions du jour: Michael Psilakis (Anthos, Kefi, Gus & Gabriel) may or may not be looking to launch a Greek food-truck. And Michael Huynh (Bar Bao, Baoguettes) is planning to open O Bao Noodles & Grill on East 53rd St. this fall.
• Bars and restaurants often continue to operate after they file for bankruptcy. That doesn't appear to be the case with Merkato 55, though. [Eater]
• Oprah's diet was destroyed during a visit to NYC last weekend. Of course, potato skins at Planet Hollywood and dessert at Serendipity 3 will do that. [P6]

• Sam Sifton, the Times' new restaurant critic, answers a couple of questions about his new gig over on Diner's Journal. Meanwhile, Grub Street and The Feedbag sound off on how food criticism has changed over the past few years.
• The 24 stars that Frank Bruni reclaimed during his five-year tenure. [Eater]
• Douglas Rodriguez has parted ways with Nuela, which opens this fall. [NYT]
• Gabriel Stulman's new spot, Joseph Leonard, opens this eve. [Eater]
• The critics: In his third-to-last review, Frank Bruni downgrades Danny Meyer's Union Square Cafe from three stars to two; the Daily News' Danyelle Freeman is more impressed with the drinks at Hotel Griffou than she is with the food; TONY's Jay Cheshes gives SHO Shaun Hergatt three out of five stars; the Post's Steve Cuozzo tears Harbour apart; and Bloomberg's Ryan Sutton heads out to Nick & Toni's and decides the best thing about it "is the parking lot."

Despite a careful scrubbing of the New York Times' website, photos of the paper's new restaurant critic, Sam Sifton, are all over the Internet. The man needs a way to visit restaurants undetected, stat.

The New York Times has finally picked someone to replace Frank Bruni as the newspaper's restaurant critic. Sam Sifton, the Times' culture editor and a former editor of the Dining section, will take over the job in October. In the meantime, he'll spend the next few months recuperating from the extensive plastic surgery that will be required to totally change his appearance, thus rendering the many photos of him on the Internet totally obsolete. [NYO]

• Anita Lo hopes to re-open her fire-damaged Annisa next month. [TONY]
• Closings: Frederick Lesort's Frederick's Downtown closed up shop last Friday; and the UWS outpost of Blondies has been shuttered by the tax cops.
• Frank Bruni shares his thoughts on Bastianich and Batali's Casa Mono. [NYT]
• A rooftop beer garden called Berry Park is coming soon to Williamsburg. [UD]
• The Eldridge had to do some renovations after a vandalism incident. [DBTH]
• The city is looking to support aspiring chefs by turning a 4,000-square-foot space in Harlem into a big kitchen for foodie entrepreneurs. [NYT]
• The boost its bottom line and make employees more "productive," Starbucks is now looking to limit unnecessary "walking, reaching, and bending." [WSJ]
• Tom Colicchio and wife Lori Silverbush welcomed a son into the world on Saturday. He's named Luka Bodhi Colicchio, in case you're wondering. [People]

• David Burke's Townhouse closes tomorrow for renovations. Cafe Boulud will shuts its doors for a revamp beginning in a couple of weeks. [Eater, TFB]
• Mermaid Inn owner Danny Abrams says he'll open the Mermaid Oyster Bar in the former Smith's space on MacDougal Street next month. [GS]
• Michael Huynh, the man behind Bar Bao and Baoguette, says his Bia Garden, the "city's first Vietnamese beer garden," will open next week. [GS, Thrillist]
• Gabriel Stulman's Joseph Leonard opens next week, too. (Photos here.) When it does, it will be the first restaurant in the city to offer boxed water. [VV]
• A roundup of other restaurants opening this week and next. [TONY, NYM]
• Did Publisher's Weekly jump the gun by posting a pic of Frank Bruni? [TFB]
• If you get an invite to dine at the White House and you're a captain of industry, be advised that you'll be expected to pay for your meal. [NYDN]

Frank Bruni steps down the New York Times' restaurant critic in a couple of weeks, and his memoir, Born Round, debuts on bookstore shelves on August 20. So it was only a matter of time before Bruni finally unmasked himself and showed to the world the face that has been taped to kitchen walls for close to five years now.

• Today in restaurant reviews: Frank Bruni of the Times isn't the least bit impressed with Goving Armstrong's Table 8; Danyelle Freeman is pretty happy with Brooklyn's Prime Meats; Adam Platt thinks Locanda Verde is way better than Ago; and Time Out's Jay Cheshes pays a visit to Locanda Verde, too.
• Ron Perelman is no fan of Bloomberg's Ryan Sutton today: Sutton says dinner at the Perelman-owned Blue Parrot in East Hampton "evokes the universally miserable experience of eating crummy food in an economy class seat." [BN]
• Related: The Post's Steve Cuozzo heads out to the East End and concludes that "the best place to eat in the Hamptons is in a garden or on a porch—at your house or a friend's." But you probably knew that already. [NYP]
• Tragic news for douchey fans of West 27th Street: DBTH reports—and Zagat confirms—that both Home and Guesthouse are now finished. [DBTH]
• Rocco DiSpirito's career isn't totally dead. A new cookbook is coming! [GS]

Eater speculates on who Frank Bruni's replacement as the Times dining critic will be.

• Is Thomas Keller opening a new resto in NYC? Depends who you ask. [TFB]
• The animal rights group that staged a foie gras protest outside Momofuku Noodle Bar back in May will return to the scene once again on Sunday. [GS]
• Word has it Rande Gerber's Stone Rose is exiting Time Warner Center. [P6]
• Speaking of exits, Frank Bruni will step down as the Times' restaurant critic in just 21 days. Eater offers up a few guesses as to his replacement. [Eater]
• Café Boulud will be providing the food when the Surrey Hotel reopens. [VV]
• Village on West 9th has closed. So has Midtown's City Burger. [GS, ML]
• The vast majority of the chocolate that Jacques Torres sells is manufactured in Brussels, Belgium, not at his NYC factories. Just so you know. [Forbes]
• Want to watch Gwyneth Paltrow roast a kitchen? Go right ahead. [GoaG]

• Rumor has it Thomas Keller is planning to open another restaurant to NYC in "one of the new high-rise buildings in Chelsea." Keller's denying it. [TFB, GS]
• The day in reviews: Frank Bruni is a little disappointed with Locanda Verde; the Post's Steve Cuozzo totally digs SHO Shaun Hergatt; Danyelle Freeman of the Daily News thinks Marea rivals Le Bernardin but is way too expensive; and GQ's Alan Richman and Bloomberg's Ryan Sutton both tackle DBGB.
• Andrew Silverman's City Lobster & Steak is now bankrupt. [Crain's]
• The NYPD is cracking down on narcotics sales involving club promoters. [BB]
• A man was indicted today for allegedly raping a woman at Marquee. [NYP]
• Momofuku may jump into the food cart fray. We'll second TFB's sentiments: "This gourmet cart/truck business is getting out of control." [Eater, TFB]

• Permanent Brunch, which will only serve brunch (obviously) and will feature the city's first-ever "bacon menu," opens this week or next. [UD, Eater]
• The recession is forcing some restaurants to close, have you heard? [NYP]
• Fedora in the WV isn't closing after 57 years; the hiatus is temporary. [Eater]
• The super-secret entrance to Café Select is no more, alas. [GS]
• A survey of the city's few remaining traditional Jewish delis. [Citysearch]
• The owner of Via Dei Mille is accused of assaulting his ex-girlfriend. [NYP]
• Rumor has it there have been layoffs and budget cuts at The Box. [DBTH]
• Frank Bruni says he's a big Nora Ephron fan. He also adored Silence of the Lambs, which probably says something about his current career, no? [TDB]
• The Bronx is NYC's fattest borough. Manhattan is New York State's Eastern European model: It's the slimmest of the Empire state's 62 counties. [NYT]

In today's Times Magazine, former restaurant critic Frank Bruni vomits up a lot verbiage to describe how he'd purge his meals Roman-style in an effort to eat more, at the age of 1! Whoa, this is one bloated cover story.

• The Spotted Pig sells an estimated $1.2 million worth of cheeseburgers a year, making it NYC's top-grossing dish. Balthazar's steak frites is No. 2. [GS]
• Frank Bruni doesn't have too many good things to say about the food at Monkey Bar in his one-star review today, not surprisingly. Graydon Carter's "social pulpit," Monkey Bar merely "affirm[s] his ordination as the high priest of a certain fame-focused, power-obsessed sect of Manhattan society." [NYT]
• Related: Illustrator Edward Sorel talks about his Monkey Bar murals. [Zagat]
• Other reviews today: Danyelle Freeman gives three out of five stars to DBGB; Time Out's Jay Cheshes hands over four out of six to Marea; and Alan Richman makes the case that Bruni should make Marea the Times' first four-star Italian restaurant before he steps down next month. [NYDN, TONY, GQ]
• Chodorow is denying that he ever considered reuniting with DiSpirito. [TFB]
• 7-Eleven says it plans to open 44 new stores in NYC this year. Ugh. [NYT]

• Aquavit's owner says the rumor the eatery is closing is pure nonsense. [GS]
• More good news: Although it appeared as if Ama has gone bust a couple of weeks ago, the closure was temporary and it's now back in business. [Eater]
• The critics: Frank Bruni of the Times gives Aldea a very solid two-star review today; Bloomberg's Ryan Sutton is pretty pleased with Locanda Verde; and the Post's Steve Cuzzo is happy to report Benoit is "a lot better." [NYT, BN, NYP]
• Rumor has it William Grimes may step in as the New York Times' temporary restaurant critic when Frank Bruni takes his leave next month. [TFB]
• A roundup of restaurants that have opened recently. [NYT]
• Joey Chestnut's record-setting 68 hot dogs at the Nathan's eating competition translates into 20,200 calories, in case you were wondering. [TFB]

• Today in restaurant reviews: The Times' Frank Bruni gives one star to Bar Artisanal; Restaurant Girl hands out three to Brooklyn's Mesa Coyoacan; and the Post's Steve Cuozzo pays a visit to DBGB. [NYT, NYDN, NYP]
• A few impressions of Charlie Palmer's brand-new Aureole. [TFB, Zagat]
• A total of 27 restaurants closed their doors during the month of June. But 48 new ones opened, so clearly it's not all bad news. [Eater]
• Following a little snafu last night, Gus & Gabriel opens tonight. [GS]
• How do you snag a table at Minetta Tavern? Try passing a fat wad of cash to Keith McNally: "I never take gifts, ever. It's against my principle. I do take cash, however. And as much of it as I can get." (Yes, he's kidding.) [Eater]

• Danny Meyer has tapped Gramercy Tavern's executive sous-chef, Nick Anderer, to run things at his new restaurant at the Gramercy Park Hotel. [GS]
• A roundup of restaurants already open or will be soon. [Eater]
• Greenpeace staged a demonstration inside Nobu on Saturday night. [NYT]
• More bad news for Giuseppe Cipriani: His Moscow expansion is a no-go. [P6]
• Pete Wentz's Angels & Kings was shuttered for serving minors. [Gawker]
• Frank Bruni isn't too impressed with the Obamas decision to eat at Blue Hill during their weekend jaunt to NYC: "In the very predictability of this choice, in its all-too-neat squaring with the officially sanctioned food agenda, in its absence of surprise or abandon, isn't it ever so slightly disappointing?" [NYT]