Fox plans to make this whole layoff/recession thing into one big reality contest. Classy! "The show's working title is Someone's Gotta Go. Employees are called to a meeting and informed there will be layoffs, but with a reality show twist: The staff will be allowed to determine who is fired... It's the anti-Apprentice: Instead of contestants vying for a dream job, they're fighting to keep the lousy one they already have." [THR]

A proud lot, journalists — and yet so often they drown their sorrows in PB&J martinis. Or the sweet liqueur of Twitter. Jason Pontin, Ana Marie Cox, Susan Orlean and others shared their secret shames:

(UPDATED) Despite reports he was fired for reviewing a pirated copy of Wolverine, Fox News columnist Roger Friedman will have a chance to argue for his job, a Fox News source said.

Glenn Beck has been milking his faux populism for ratings gold, but he's walled off his $4.2 million estate behind a 6-foot barrier to keep the poors out. And we hear his neighbors aren't happy.

CNN is flailing, trailing even sister network Headline News this month. With Campbell Brown about to go on maternity leave, are they preparing to quit the "No Bias, No Bull" posturing?

Beck (pictured here, at home) has gone off the deep end, rehashing ancient John Bircher conspiracy theories, pointing his growing audience toward extremist literature, and gleefully (and tearfully) playing at unstable demagoguery. This doesn't sit well with Mr. Frum, who'd maybe like to see the Republican party win elections instead of forming paramilitary militias in fortified rural compounds. (YOU ARE NOT ALONE, WE SURROUND THEM, I'M WORRIED FOR THIS COUNTRY—we think we know where that sort of argument is headed!)

Want to know how much more work Rupert Murdoch has at News Corp. after his No. 2 Peter Chernin stepped down? Some Fox executives are expecting Murdoch to put together the primetime television schedule himself.

Shepard Smith is secretly the best anchor on television (well, it's not a secret to non-crazy Fox viewers and Esquire readers*). Today he just made fun of Glenn Beck for an hour.

Rupert Murdoch shook up Fox's movie and TV businesses today, his first moves since News Corp. deputy Peter Chernin stepped down. The biggest winner: Peter Rice, who's going from overseeing Slumdog Millionaire to American Idol.

The consummate professionals at the Fox & Friends morning show discussed Chris Brown and Rihanna's music careers this morning with all the sensitivity you've come to expect. Which is exactly none.

• The Wall Street Journal's new glossy mag, WSJ, will remain a quarterly and will not be going monthly as planned due to "market conditions." [WWD]
• Amazon is launching a program to let you read books by iPhone. [WSJ]
• Fox is ahead in the ratings with 18 to 49-year-olds thanks to the success of Idol, but CBS is gaining ground and is now No. 1 among total viewers. [LAT]
• As expected, Julius Genachowski has been nominated as FCC head. [AP]
• Cablevision will soon start targeting TV ads based on "income, ethnicity, gender or whether the homeowner has children or pets." [NYT]
• WNBC's new digital channel, New York Nonstop, launched Monday. [NYDN]
• David Carr's Carpetbagger blog will not be a year-round thing. [NYT]
• Good news, unemployed TV journalists: Dan Rather is hiring. [NYO]

Fox just put in an order for two more seasons of The Simpsons, ensuring that it will exceed Gunsmoke's 20-year run to become the longest-running primetime series ever. Here's why it may never end.

• Jerry Seinfeld has a new project in the works for NBC. The Marriage Ref will feature celebs "judging couples in the midst of marital disputes." [THR]
• The Times is scaling back the number of issues it publishes of T. [NYP]
• The Gray Lady does say it has enough cash to last through '09, though. [E&P]
• Denver's Rocky Mountain News is shutting down on Friday. [AP]
• Fox has renewed The Simpsons for two more seasons. [Variety]
• ABC collected $72 million for the 26 minutes of ad time it sold during the Oscars. Overall, ad spending fell by 10 percent this year, though. [TVW, NYT]
• Doubledown Media, which ceased operations recently, is bankrupt. [MM]
• You can now download CBS shows to your iPhone. Enjoy. [NYT]

Watchmen screenwriter David Hayter was asked by Hollywood Outbreak for his thoughts on Fox's litigious adventures in the Land of the Forgotten Rights Claim.

• Bravo is producing a reality series about New York City private school kids. Not surprisingly, it's being dubbed as "the real-life Gossip Girl." [B&C]
• Walter Anderson is stepping down as chairman and CEO of Parade. Richard Beckman has been mentioned as a possible replacement. [NYP]
• The recession has led more TV stations to accept liquor and sex ads. [LAT]
• Fox is testing out shorter commercial breaks. [NYT]
• Sirius XM is closer to a deal with satellite mogul Charles Ergen. [WSJ]
• Google is quitting the radio business. [AdWeek]
• Condé Nast has pulled the plug on a Japanese version of Glamour. [WWD]

In case you were worried that American Idol had somehow lost its dehumanizing edge over eight seasons, and that there was perhaps some small chance that its castaways won't end up on Celebrity Rehab—fret not.

Which Idol judge was beaten hardest with a bad-taste-bat? [EW]

Produced by American Idol peddlers FremantleMedia and purchased by an exec at Fox we can only imagine no longer has a job, Osbournes Reloaded first came to attention for refusing to hire WGA writers—a cynical, cost-cutting decision that elicited an angry letter from Guild heads Patric Verrone and Michael Winship.

We swore we'd gotten Bikini Girl out of our system after yesterday's breathless retelling of her final moments on American Idol—a pretty amazing run that ended much as it began, with Kara DioGuardi's hacking noises.