• Parents Television Council names list of best and worst shows for "families"; Gawker names PTC to list of worst bullshit "family values" advocacy groups. [NYDN]
• Judy Miller testifies before Congress in favor of shield law, several months too late. [NYT]
• Esquire-food-critic-gate continues: The Houston visitor's bureau paid to fly him down to sample four eateries, which comped his meals. Because, you know, Hearst doesn't have much cash to throw around. [Houston Press, second item]
• Dow Jones had a bad quarter, too — but still not as bad as the Times did. [WSJ]
• This just in: Elizabeth Spiers sells book, to leave Mediabistro. [FishbowlNY]

Ever since the Associated Press' Current TV-esque ill-advised new youth-targeted newswire asap — all lowercase, no periods — "dropped," as the hip-poppers say, the results, as you'd expect, have been like the scene in an "urban" comedy in which a middle-aged white character actor talks like Snoop Dogg — equally embarrassing to young, old, black, and white.

From the "Corrections & Amplifications" column in today's Journal:

From London's Guardian:

R.W. Apple Jr.'s here's-what-I-ate-for-a-week Dining In/Dining Out datelines from the summer of 2005:

We should say that bulk press-release emails faux-personalized to make it seem like the sender actually knows us always bug us from the git-go. But this one gets so much worse.

We're always here for our readers, even when they're asking really, really strange questions. Like this one, received in the wee hours of this morning:

We were pleased to see this (admittedly somewhat old) news in last night's Publishers Lunch roundup:

Generations of Waspily distinguished Time Inc. editors are rolling over in their graves — or at least in their green golf pants — right now: The company is tightening its belt on expense reimbursements.

Exchange in the Conde Nast Cafeteria cashier's line, as overheard today by a Gawker mole in 4 Times Square:

Times cookie monster R.W. Apple Jr. is sick and tired of being forced to eat plain old Maine lobsters. So unsubtle! So indelicate! He prefers their "slim, pink, thin-shelled relatives," langoustines.

So first there was David Shaw last week. Then Peter Jennings over the weekend. John Johnson on Monday. Abe Hirschfeld yesterday. Now there's news on the wires that even the author Judith Rossner has finally finished her search for Mr. Goodbar. And somehow we have this feeling that the recent spate of deaths isn't quite over yet.

The L magazine is out with its oddly punctuated "Best! (and Worst) of NYC" double issue. The results come from a reader poll, and we disagree with almost all of it, from their sexiest newscaster (Matt Lauer? Please. Hasn't Pat Kiernan ever read the L folks the paper?) to their best tree-lined block (a host of cute West Village blocks kick Jane's puny ass, beginning with Bank and Commerce) to their best burger (um, guys, if you like Jane Street so much, can we point you to a bistro on its corner?). And let's not even get started on their taste in NYC blogs.

Post writer Steve Cuozzo has set some sort of record, having nearly 1000 words in the otherwise concise-ish Living section. The topic meriting such space? A rebuttal to GQ's "4 Best Cities on Earth (To Eat In)" feature, in which New York is not included. In fact, GQ includes a NYC sidebar to express that our tomato sauce is "crappy" and our scene is "obnoxious." Stupid jerks.

Half of us finally gave in, sucked it up, and headed out to East Hampton this past weekend. (Really, we went for the 7 different Calypso storefronts — the block on Broome street simply isn't enough!) We deflowered ourselves only because of Manhattan's insufferable heat; the major lure of this eastward excursion was an absurd amount of time on the beach, but only with the promise that we would not, under any circumstances, be forced to enter any sort of bar with the words "jet," "star," or "toni" in its name. Our demands were thus met and, dare we say, we enjoyed ourselves.

• How to solve many of clubland's problems: The Guid-o-meter, patent pending. [Clubland]
• The L calls Chuck Klosterman's new book " a dismal, shoddy piece of work." Which, given their standards, might be a compliment. [The L]
• Seth Mnookin changes subtitle, appends corrections, and adds an afterword by the author in forthcoming paperback version of Hard News. But where will he put corrections to the afterword? [E&P]
• Bonnie Fuller's memoir finally has a pubdate (April 11, 2006) and an official title, "The Joys of Much Too Much: Go For the Big Life — The Great Career, The Perfect Guy and Everything Else You Ever Wanted (Even If You're Afraid You Don t Have What It Takes." At 33 words, that title would be feature story in her last few magazines. [WWD (second item)]
• Socal burger joint Fatburger invades the tristate area. We'll stick with the Corner Bistro, at least until In 'N' Out gets here. [Bergen Record]

Because stickers on fruits and vegetables can irritate consumers, produce companies are now starting to tattoo UPC codes and countries of origin directly onto the food's skin, reports the Times.

Kurt Andersen's recipe for fried sage leaves, courtesy of yesterday's Times Magazine: